I've been wanting to be a nurse be a nurse for so long now. But, what am I? Nothing but a wife and mother. I wake up; get ready for work; get my son ready for school; go to work at a boring insurance company; pick up my son from school; stop at the grocery store; cook dinner; help my son with his homework; wash a few loads of clothes; clean & organize; go to school; and try to make time to study. My gpa sucks because I can't study as much as I need because I have so much other crap to deal with. I make time for everyone else except ME! When am I going to get a break and take time out to pursue my dreams? I have $15K in student loans currently, and have no degree. We make to much for me to get financial aid and because our bills are souring out of control, I have to work fulltime. I was accepted to BSN program and was supposed to start this Jan but because I had trouble with Stats, I had to postpone NS until 2010. I am so depressed right now, it's unbelievable. My situation might seem like nothing (some may say it's "the norm") but I'm tired. Tired of putting everyone's feelings, needs, and wants ahead of mine. All I wanna do is go to school for a couple of years, get my degree, then come back (mentally) and be the wife and mother that I'm supposed to be. Life sucks.
I want to flip the script a little bit and encourage all of my young, single, girls and guys, to do IT while you can. Please do not wait until you are dealing with familyhood and decide to go back to school (nursing school at that!) I've read so many post on here where folks have worked 2 jobs, had 4 boys, went to school fulltime, and graduated with a 4.0. Well good for you! I envy you. I wish I could.
Specializes in Critical Care, Clinical Documentation Specialist.
I waited until my kids were 10 and 14 before I even started my pre-reqs. I just finished them and start my next batch this Spring. I won't be graduated from my BSN until Spring of 2013. I was in your mindset not that long ago and I decided to do *something*. So I am doing my pre-reqs slowly and paying cash as I go along. The only loans I will need are when I am in FT for the two years after my pre-reqs are done. You need to do something so you feel like your moving forward. It will be slower than you want but you will feel way better than you do now. Good luck!
I've been wanting to be a nurse be a nurse for so long now. But, what am I? Nothing but a wife and mother. I wake up; get ready for work; get my son ready for school; go to work at a boring insurance company; pick up my son from school; stop at the grocery store; cook dinner; help my son with his homework; wash a few loads of clothes; clean & organize; go to school; and try to make time to study. My gpa sucks because I can't study as much as I need because I have so much other crap to deal with. I make time for everyone else except ME! When am I going to get a break and take time out to pursue my dreams? I have $15K in student loans currently, and have no degree. We make to much for me to get financial aid and because our bills are souring out of control, I have to work fulltime. I was accepted to BSN program and was supposed to start this Jan but because I had trouble with Stats, I had to postpone NS until 2010. I am so depressed right now, it's unbelievable. My situation might seem like nothing (some may say it's "the norm") but I'm tired. Tired of putting everyone's feelings, needs, and wants ahead of mine. All I wanna do is go to school for a couple of years, get my degree, then come back (mentally) and be the wife and mother that I'm supposed to be. Life sucks.
I want to flip the script a little bit and encourage all of my young, single, girls and guys, to do IT while you can. Please do not wait until you are dealing with familyhood and decide to go back to school (nursing school at that!) I've read so many post on here where folks have worked 2 jobs, had 4 boys, went to school fulltime, and graduated with a 4.0. Well good for you! I envy you. I wish I could.
I sympathize with you a bit. But I have to say that when I read your post, I was a little surprised at the attitude. I truly hope you find happiness, but your son and your family should be priority, I know you should put yourself first,but there needs to be a balance. With what I see in the hospital these days, I think you really need to think about what your saying. What if your child had a chronic illness.....You would give anything to have the life you have now. Life is always greener on the other side. Be grateful to have your health and a beautiful child. I think the job of being a mother is one of the hardest most respectful, fullfilling jobs to have.
With all due respect, please reflect on what you said. And then think of other's who aren't so fortunate. I see Saint Jude children on commercials often, and I love my daughter to pieces and Thank God everyday that she is in my arms healthy and happy.
I'm not saying not to pursue your degree, just set priorities. Set some time for yourself, but appreciate what you have. I started complaining a little about how unhappy things are with my job and feeling like I have to work all the time......until I had a young pt the other day with a traumatic brain injury. Life is sweet and my child is my LIFE. If I could get by without nursing and not have to support our family....it would be great to just live on love. That's my dream!
I know how you feel. I'm doing pre-pre req's right now (just finished my first college semester ever!) and it sucks to think that I won't be in nursing school for many more years and in the meantime I'm "just a mom and homemaker".
As much as I yearn to be selfish and tell hubby to figure things out - I'm off to do this, I realize that my kids are only this age once. They need me. Honestly, the household would fall to pieces if I took more than one or two classes (well, next sem will be the first time taking two classes, so we'll see if that's even doable). If I look back on my life will 5 or 10 extra yrs to get where I'm going be that big of a deal?
Since you have bills spiraling out of control, have you tried to get rid of nonessentials? People are often amazed that my family lives off of well less than $50000/year (hubby is a machinist in a friend's business). We don't need a big house, new cars, dining out, cable tv, vacations, mani/pedis, electronics, new clothes, and all that. We live perfectly comfortable with no debt other than the mortgage. If you could cut your costs, you could cut back to part time and have extra time to study. But like everyone said previously, ADN would be the quickest way to go.
It sounds to me that even when you do get to be a RN, you're still not going to be happy. You have too much resting on your shoulders. The novelty of reaching your dream will wear off and just insert "RN" instead of "insurance company" and you'll still be stressing over doing it all (even w/o school). Tell hubby to help out or get out. Depression sucks (been there times 1000) and it makes everything seem hopeless...so it might be in your best interest to even discuss this with your doc.
Hang in there, chin up! You'll get to where you're going eventually. For now, enjoy the scenery on the ride there.
i am sorry you feel like you are in a rut...but dont give up.... nothing worse than giving up. do it for your kids, but most importantly, do it for yourself! best wishes to you. we will be here when you come and tell us you are an RN!
I hope you can figure out a way to organize your life so that you are working towards your goals with more enthusiasm. It sounds as though you are dangerously close to resenting your family when they need and deserve your love. You will need theirs when you get to nursing school.
I am so sorry you're in a rut. I hated the envy I would feel towards the 20 years olds at school who were doing it the "right way".
I went through nursing school as a single mom with two kids.
I now have a great job and love being a nurse, but guess what? Here's my day:
Up at 4- coffee, pack lunches, exercise the dogs because they keep peeing all over the furniture.
Throw that laundry back in the dryer, when dry add to the mountain of clean laundry in my room.
Wake up kids- make sure they finish up homework.
Go to work and care for other people all day.
Come home (if hubby is working one of his 4 12's a week I do dinner)
Make sure kids have done chores, argue with them a while
Check house for new dog pee, pray it's not on mountain of clean laundry
Argue with youngest to please take a shower
Argue with oldest about why he can't be out until 10 with his skateboard friends
Worry about what bills we can pay now or in 2 weeks
Answer phone call from Mom who says "You should care about your elders" (really)
Talk to my girlfriend on phone and complain how working moms never have time for themselves.
By time hubby comes home I'm about asleep..
Of course it's not this bad all the time but some days you do just feel like you're having the life sucked out of you.
Have a bath and some chocolate. Envision your future or you'll be doing this at 37, not 27!
ALso look into Ford Family Scholarships and PEO women's scholarships.
Get some sleep!
Soooo true!!! I feel like this is me also!
If this is your life now, you've got to make the best of it. What makes you think that once you become a nurse everything will be rainbows and unicorns?? The fact is that no matter how much money you make, if you don't budget it, you will be broke. I'm not saying that you don't budget, but your life is what you make of it. Even if you make less than you want to be making (money wise). Once you become a nurse, you'll gather new bills to pay and you'll be coming home after a TWELVE HOUR shift doing all the things you're doing now.
Let me tell ya, some days I'd love to be sitting at a "boring" desk rather than putting up with patient's screaming and whining,, and wiping poop from a 600 lb woman who can do it herself but choses not to because you're there, or a family member that insist her 100 year old mother keep living even though she's stroked out, contracted in all four extremeties, on a ventilator, in septic shock, drooling everywhere, and is never going to wake up again, EVER. You will come home more stressed out as a nurse than you are right now. (unless of course, you find that one in a million job that IS lined with rainbows and unicorns, I think though that it is a legend, it does not exist.)
SO, as the previous posters have said, ask your husband to help out a little! Go to a cheaper college, get your ADN, after all, there is not enough difference in it for you, as a working mother, to be worried about at this time. You can go and finish it once you've become an RN with your associates degree. Or, take a semester off for pete's sake. Give yourself a rest. And last but not least, BUDGET. Get rid of those extra things that you're paying for. Cut down on the HBO, Showtime, and extra bills that you have that you may be able to do without. If you have a fancy car with a fancy bank note, sell it and get a cheap reliable car. There ARE financial things that you can cut out to make your household budge run smoother.
Okay,, that's my I wish you the best of luck, and remember, you're life is GOOD, imagine there is sooo much that could go wrong that isn't. And you really do have a lot to be thankful for. You have a home, a family, a job, you can FEED your children,,, there are some people that don't have any of that and wished they did.
Time to take a step back, take a deep breath and count your blessings. Only a wife? Only a Mother? Do you know how many women would die to be in your shoes? I'm saying this lovingly, btw.
$15K in student loans is nothing to hate your life over. Do you know how much I had in student loans when I graduated 12 years ago with my Bachelor's? More than that. What you do is, you work....you pay them off. It's ultimately a reminder of your success, your determination, your hard work, your tenacity each month as you write your check. Celebrate it! Shift your paradigm.
It's easy sometimes to get wrapped up in self-pity. Don't. Get up, brush yourself off and move forward. You are worth your weight in gold and you must believe that in order to for others to. ((HUGS))
Time to take a step back, take a deep breath and count your blessings. Only a wife? Only a Mother? Do you know how many women would die to be in your shoes? I'm saying this lovingly, btw.
$15K in student loans is nothing to hate your life over. Do you know how much I had in student loans when I graduated 12 years ago with my Bachelor's? More than that. What you do is, you work....you pay them off. It's ultimately a reminder of your success, your determination, your hard work, your tenacity each month as you write your check. Celebrate it! Shift your paradigm.
It's easy sometimes to get wrapped up in self-pity. Don't. Get up, brush yourself off and move forward. You are worth your weight in gold and you must believe that in order to for others to. ((HUGS))
Yes, you (and all of you) are correct. I am thankful that I have a family, home, job, etc. I'm definitely not going into nursing for ONLY the money as I make a decent amount now. Nursing is my calling, my destiny, my life's purpose.
Please everyone, don't get me wrong, I love my family dearly. I just know that they need me 100% and I'm trying to give that to them because they deserve it. However, I need to give 100% to my education as well in order to be successful. Right now, I'm giving 90% to family and 10% to school which is not good. I would feel like a failure to my family if I put the additional effort that I need to put in to school. My husband is hit or miss when it comes to understanding and I try to be sympathetic to him because he does work REALLY hard (physically) so I know he's tired.
However, I need to give 100% to my education as well in order to be successful.
Why? I don't know of one single student I went to NS with that were able to devote 100% to it. Its frustrating to me when I read about people that won't even try if they can't have it all eg. being able to quit their jobs and "focus on school". :icon_roll There really is very little 100% of anything in life in my experience. I'd be happy with enough effort to graduate without being too close or stressed out over grades. I wish you luck and please know that there are thousands of people in your situation or worse that have been successful in nursing school. Good luck.
Specializes in CNA, Surgical, Pediatrics, SDS, ER.
I went to NS when my kids were 5, 3 & 2 yrs old. :eek:I did my ADN graduated in 06' and I'm now going back online for the spring 09' semester part time to work on my BSN. :clown:It's going to take me until 2012 to complete it but this way I can still work- take care of the family- and continue my education.
Also when I started my ADN my family sacrified a lot but my husband really stepped up and helped out a lot.:redbeathe He took on most of the bills- kept the girls occupied when I needed to study also in his spare time he would help me study, and he cooked about 95% of our meals. When you have a family it's a group effort and it takes sacrifies from every aspect but it can be done, you have to adjust your life accordingly to make a better life for your family in the future.
Best of luck and try not to be so hard on yourself.
I hate my life too. But here are some words of encouragement.
I pursued nursing a few years ago. Not because it was my dream career, but because I needed a stable career with decent income because I was a single parent. I fortunately did not have to downgrade my lifestyle to go to school, because I had nothing to begin with, not even a place to live. I stayed with family for awhile, then got a really cheap tiny little apartment. I had a little used beat up car, but it was dependable. I applied to every grant and scholarship I could get my hands on. I worked at a retail store for like $12 an hour. And as embarrassing as it was had to use state assistance for health insurance. I found a scholarship that helped pay for daycare. It took me a total of six years because I had to work and I went to school part-time. Everyday was a struggle for me, but I finally got it done and can't believe all those years have passed and what I have accomplished in that time.
It can be done if you have the drive...and you obviously are passionate about nursing (I wasn't and still did it!)
I agree with the other posters, go for a two year degree and you can always work your way up from there. New grad ADN's make more an hour than many other people with four year degrees in other fields.
I wish you the best of luck, and remember, you're life is GOOD, imagine there is sooo much that could go wrong that isn't. And you really do have a lot to be thankful for. You have a home, a family, a job, you can FEED your children,,, there are some people that don't have any of that and wished they did..thumb.jpg.6ef22235a95e8726ea425a8585c9cf44.jpg){kind=small}
zenman
1 Article; 2,806 Posts
Why not flip your own script just a little bit? You're writing the script.