I got reported to HR

[katie92]

Hi everyone!

Just wanted to post this somewhere to rant... because I can't mention this to any coworkers...

The other day, we had a resource tech/aid on our floor, who was African american with a unique name. And while we were all sitting around the nurses station talking, I said to her "Did your momma name you xxxxxxxx", in which she replied "No my grandma did" -- the only reason I asked this question was because I was curious if the name was a birth name or nick name.

About half an hour later, she told me that she thought what I said was rude to her. She walked away and I followed a minute later and apologized (for what? I don't know, still did anyways)

Today, I found out she reported me to HR for this incident. I don't know whether I should be worried or not because I almost find this ridiculous... and at the same time, if she's playing the racist card and HR is making the decision about it, not my unit director... I could be long gone already?

It's sad that you can offend someone so easily over something so small or innocent. I'm genuinely the kindest person, always helping out and trying to make people laugh! I said this in a total non-malicious way and everyone around us was aware of that. I'm almost angry at the fact she went to HR because there is no way in heck she actually thinks I was trying to be mean!

Should I be worried? Do you find what I said completely inappropriate?It's sad that the lesson I learned is you can't talk to people you don't know I guess. I really enjoy working on my unit... I get along with all the staff so well. I'm just at loss for words right now.

[THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN]

You clearly have not read the thread, I don't believe I will take the time to explain it.

I meant why are you quoting me. I've read the entire thread. You quoted me but you were not addressing me in your post at all.

[OCNRN63, RN]

I wish the OP would come back and let us know how things worked out. The fact that she hasn't makes me fear, and for others, probably rejoice, that she was terminated.

[elijahvegas, ASN, RN, EMT-P]

The OP was one of those that felt too attacked from the get-go and bailed on the thread, and now the rest of us are left squabbling lol.

Whether it was "yo mama" or "your mama" to an african american, an unfamiliar using that type of colloquial slang can be taken offensively for a number of reasons that arent worth getting into. The bottlm line is, whether shes fudging the story a bit or not, she used the wrong choice of words--of this no one of sound mind can dispute.

Whatever she said, it was a poorer choice than to ask what she meant, which apparnetly was

"Is that your birth name" or

"Is that a Nick name" or

"Is that your real name" or

Literally the hundreds of alternatives than whatever she said..

[bhargrave15]

Good attitude my friend!

B

[CrunchBerries]

The OP was one of those that felt too attacked from the get-go and bailed on the thread, and now the rest of us are left squabbling lol.

Whether it was "yo mama" or "your mama" to an african american, an unfamiliar using that type of colloquial slang can be taken offensively for a number of reasons that arent worth getting into. The bottlm line is, whether shes fudging the story a bit or not, she used the wrong choice of words--of this no one of sound mind can dispute.

Whatever she said, it was a poorer choice than to ask what she meant, which apparnetly was

"Is that your birth name" or

"Is that a Nick name" or

"Is that your real name" or

Literally the hundreds of alternatives than whatever she said..

Perhaps I am dating myself but so what....

So JimBob, JohnBoy, MaryEllen, Elizabeth, and all the others are little dirt bag bigots, right?

MANY people today refer to their mother's as Momma. It's a far better cry than what *I* think of when I think of my own mother.

You know, from what little I have seen of your posts so far you seem to enjoy slamming and insulting. You appear to have a very smug, better than thou attitude and honestly, from reading your posts I have no idea why you think you have earned such an attitude.

Have you ever thought of being nice? Supportive? Helpful? Thoughtful? Try it someday, you might just like it.

[heron, ASN, RN]

@Crunchberries: re your last statement about being nice, helpful and, I would add, empathetic - I think you're absolutely right. So why are so many so angry when the same privelege of understanding - or at least the attempt to do so - is extended to the OPs co-worker?

[CrunchBerries]

@Crunchberries: re your last statement about being nice, helpful and, I would add, empathetic - I think you're absolutely right. So why are so many so angry when the same privelege of understanding - or at least the attempt to do so - is extended to the OPs co-worker?

Oh bleh~ You are not baiting me with your race baiting, not gonna happen. Take it elsewhere to someone who will play.

[heron, ASN, RN]

QED

[rnsheri]

Be polite. Be professional. People have a lot of feelings. Most don't make sense to me. However strange those feelings may be, we live in a society that encourages people to report those feelings. I don't know why feeling-sharing is a thing, but so many places love hearing how a person feels upset because of some perceived slight. Whatever slight (imagined or real) the tech felt that you committed, say you're sorry, and don't do it again if you like your job.

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

I personally have a "unique name for a white person" and I get asked things like this all of the time. I do not get offended, but I can honestly see how others would. When I was younger I did, but I do not anymore. I would never go to HR over something like this. Some people are overly sensitive and it is always a good idea to think of everyone as being overly sensitive so you will remember to sensor what you say. Its kind of like assuming everyone is infected and using PPE. I am sorry this happened to you, and please be careful what you say in the future, even if it is to someone you know well...you never know who is listening.

I agree - Back in the day I lacked a filter on my mouth and would sometimes say things that were really inappropriate to the situation at hand. I am a Bible reading, gun toting, political conservative and was having a discussion with a friend of like mind in the breakroom. A third party reported us for having a conversation that was offensive to her. My first thought was why was she eaves dropping - since we were talking quietly. No can say what's offensive to someone else. People call me a red neck all the time but I am not offended by the title. Someone else might well be. I don't think I would report something like this to HR - but my initial thought momicked others here "Your (Yo) Mamma is almost always preface to an insult.

Hppy

[Libby1987]

Since this thread is still around..

Even if OP has asked, "Did your mother name you that?", what kind of response was she looking for? Don't most mothers either name their children or with their spouse/partner? Who else would have named her?

[CrunchBerries]

Since this thread is still around..

Even if OP has asked, "Did your mother name you that?", what kind of response was she looking for? Don't most mothers either name their children or with their spouse/partner? Who else would have named her?

In this case her grandmother named her.