How much do you feel that you can just "be yourself" at your job?

[deeDawntee]

Recently, I started a second job, (and as second jobs go, it has been pretty darned exciting, it is in an ER and it is my first venture into ER nursing). But, as my second job, I haven't felt the same kind of pressure (internal or otherwise) to figure it all out and to try to be what I think I am supposed to be. I am truly just letting myself, be myself. So in the wake of this, it has become very clear how much I actually don't allow myself to just be who I am....whatever that is. In my primary job, I am much more concerned with how I am perceived (or how I think I am being perceived) by my coworkers and the management.

I don't like this realization.

Do any of you have any insight into this phenomenon? A few months ago, I wouldn't have even noticed this about myself, but I truly feel a whole lot more freedom at my second job, than at my primary job.

What is this sense of trying to give people what you think they want? Is that just being a good employee or is it selling out on who you are?

For instance, I sat down with my manager at my second job about some of the problems on the weekend I work. I was very forthcoming and it felt GREAT. Why don't I do that otherwise?

Any insight would be appreciated.....thanks.

[inshallamiami]

I find it very difficult to "be myself" as I live on a sailboat and work for a year or so in order to sail around the caribbean/central america for a year or so. This very lifestyle seems to be anathema to most people so I don't talk about it.

I try to be "one of the girls" but I find much of the work chitchat`boring-All they talk about is shopping/clothes/kids/american idol.

Therefore, I try not to be myself when I'm working, and don't let them know how different I am. In a way, I lead a double life!

[Becca608]

Having just graduated school, I expect my job will be the same as school. If you personally do not believe in gossip, you will then become the 'weird' one that they gossip about.

[StrwbryblndRN]

I would love to work with people who are different. My favorite are the smart mouthed nurses who seem to make the modest elderly smile/laugh.

They know what to say but bring in a young flair.

I have been told I am weird and I hate to shop and have no idea how to cook. But I like to hear what others say and contribute where I can and sometimes change subjects to something interesting that goes beyond the

aesthetics of life. I found that after becoming a nurse I could easily be myself (after feeling more confident in my job).

I do warp somewhat to fit moods of patients though. I find it necessary, depending upon diagnosis, age and overall response to me.

[RheatherN, ASN, RN, EMT-P]

i have to say, i am myself. i enjoy being who i am, and i get along with pt's and staff alike. i am one of those ppl that can mold to each pt. but at the same time, i really keep myself and who i am out there too. i really feel thats why i can get along with just about anyone and everyone.

i am totally not trying to toot my own horn or anything, please do not think i am trying to do that or be conceded. (sp?) it just makes me proud to know that i can be myself and do so well

you just have to mold yourself. if you can master that, you can always be yourself!

[deeDawntee, RN]

Do you think not really being able to be yourself is a "nurse" thing, a "female" thing or just the nature of being employed? Is it the "role" we are expected to play?

When my manager struts onto the unit, it makes me want to wretch a little. She "acts" superior. There is no way that I feel inferior to her, but am forced to act a certain way in that scenario. It is all artificial, but some people really believe it. Or Doctors, especially (not all) are in a certain role when they come on the unit....and there is no question some feel they are next to god.

I have become very sensitive and aware of all of this "role playing" and how it has nothing to do with our own value in this world. WE are ALL valuable.

Then there are nurses who treat their fellow nurses as "less than" them, as well. How does one deal with that? New nurses should have MORE attention, MORE compassion and MORE support, not less. Not the sink or swim mentality that exists in many places... I just find it interesting this us or them mentality. It is so like High School. Some of that bull crap never changes... it is amusing, actually, when you look at the absurdity of it all.

No one really makes it until we ALL make it. AND allowing everyone to "be themselves" and contribute all that they have to contribute is is important. None of this "cookie cutter crap" in my perfect world!!

What if we all just tried "being ourselves" and let the chips fall where they may. I would bet life would be a whole lot more joyful. I am working on it. Who want to be like everybody else anyway?? Blech!!!

:chuckle:chuckle:chucklewe are all perfect in our own imperfections!!!:rolleyes::lol2:

[deeDawntee, RN]

i have to say, i am myself. i enjoy being who i am, and i get along with pt's and staff alike. i am one of those ppl that can mold to each pt. but at the same time, i really keep myself and who i am out there too. i really feel thats why i can get along with just about anyone and everyone.

i am totally not trying to toot my own horn or anything, please do not think i am trying to do that or be conceded. (sp?) it just makes me proud to know that i can be myself and do so well

you just have to mold yourself. if you can master that, you can always be yourself!

That is soooo awesome!! How few of us reach that stage where full self-expression is how you live!! I applaud you sister!!!:yeah:

[deeDawntee, RN]

I find it very difficult to "be myself" as I live on a sailboat and work for a year or so in order to sail around the caribbean/central america for a year or so. This very lifestyle seems to be anathema to most people so I don't talk about it.

I try to be "one of the girls" but I find much of the work chitchat`boring-All they talk about is shopping/clothes/kids/american idol.

Therefore, I try not to be myself when I'm working, and don't let them know how different I am. In a way, I lead a double life!

Oh my gosh, how cool is that. What a shame that you aren't able to share that incredible "wayfarer" part of yourself with others. I would love to have you as one of my coworkers and to be able to hear your stories and see your pictures. Where have you gone? It sounds dangerous? How about that Bermuda triangle?? Very very cool!!!!!!

[SoundofMusic]

No, I don't feel I can yet. I'm in too much fear and confusion now as a new grad to even come close. Maybe someday when I get the job down. With some nurses, I can open up a bit, but I'm standng back a little until I find out who I can trust. I'm sort of like that with people until I get to know them.

I'm a bit Type A, and a bit high strung and inpatient, so I'm not sure if my personality fits nursing yet at all. I've had to be very tough in many situations in my life, so I have a hard time with whiners and don't always have patience with those who don't seem to take responsibility for their life choices.

Maybe I'd be better off working for the Republican Party or something!

I'm starting to wonder.

[inshallamiami]

That is soooo awesome!! How few of us reach that stage where full self-expression is how you live!! I applaud you sister!!!:yeah:

wow,i wrote my response when I was feeling kind of down and negative and then I read this! In just a few sentences you made such a difference in my day! deeDawntee- you are what nursing is all about. thankyou.:heartbeat

[BookwormRN]

I am finding this thread very interesting-it is making me reflect on my "work self."

Now that I have been a nurse for a bit, I feel that I am letting my real self shine at work. I am professional with staff/co-workers/pts...but I am also fun. I think the two can co-exist.

Of course, there are some that I can be more fun with than others...gotta know where to draw the line.

If I can't be me, who can be??

[showbizrn]

I am finding this thread very interesting-it is making me reflect on my "work self."

Now that I have been a nurse for a bit, I feel that I am letting my real self shine at work. I am professional with staff/co-workers/pts...but I am also fun. I think the two can co-exist.

Of course, there are some that I can be more fun with than others...gotta know where to draw the line.

If I can't be me, who can be??

*************************

Ditto.

THANK YOU for an interesting and enjoyable thread!

:)

[SDS_RN, RN]

I am more work driven than interested in chit chat. I want to get my work done first then if there is time to talk fine. I think that my coworkers think of me as wierd, not joining in on conversations or if I do it's w/ dry humor. I want to get out that door on time and get home to my family. I feel like I'm left out of the loop a lot but that's probably my own fault since I rarely engage. I'm very quite and shy and always have been, have issues w/ knowing what to say to people stems from my childhood but that's a process that I am trying to figure that out and improve on it as life continues.

This whole paragraph sounds terrible but I guess that's me. I do enjoy my coworkers they are all wonderful people and they all are like a 2nd family and I'm still working on finding my place in this new family of mine.