How much do you feel that you can just "be yourself" at your job?

[deeDawntee]

Recently, I started a second job, (and as second jobs go, it has been pretty darned exciting, it is in an ER and it is my first venture into ER nursing). But, as my second job, I haven't felt the same kind of pressure (internal or otherwise) to figure it all out and to try to be what I think I am supposed to be. I am truly just letting myself, be myself. So in the wake of this, it has become very clear how much I actually don't allow myself to just be who I am....whatever that is. In my primary job, I am much more concerned with how I am perceived (or how I think I am being perceived) by my coworkers and the management.

I don't like this realization.

Do any of you have any insight into this phenomenon? A few months ago, I wouldn't have even noticed this about myself, but I truly feel a whole lot more freedom at my second job, than at my primary job.

What is this sense of trying to give people what you think they want? Is that just being a good employee or is it selling out on who you are?

For instance, I sat down with my manager at my second job about some of the problems on the weekend I work. I was very forthcoming and it felt GREAT. Why don't I do that otherwise?

Any insight would be appreciated.....thanks.

[RNperdiem, RN]

I have thought about this post some. I was wondering if "being yourself" involved revealing information that can make you a target of discrimination.

This is a difficult issue to navigate if "yourself" is gay, or involved in counterculture, has major mental health issues or otherwise is more than a little out of the mainstream.

I could see how you could relax a bit on the second job that does not provide the majority of your income.

[deeDawntee, RN]

I have thought about this post some. I was wondering if "being yourself" involved revealing information that can make you a target of discrimination.

This is a difficult issue to navigate if "yourself" is gay, or involved in counterculture, has major mental health issues or otherwise is more than a little out of the mainstream.

I could see how you could relax a bit on the second job that does not provide the majority of your income.

You make some good points. I work with some who are out of the mainstream and although they aren't talking openly about their views or situations in life, they aren't hiding who they are either. I have some of those issues myself, some mental health issues, that I find difficult to know how much to share. I guess "being myself" comes from my own sense of self-acceptance whether or not anything is spoken. I have heard that 90% of our communication is non-verbal. Are we open, forgiving and accepting of ourselves? Sometimes I wonder if my own insecurity at times is communicated in spite of myself. Does that make sense?

Believe it or not, I am an optimist, but sometimes even being optimistic isn't well received. I refuse to give up my own hard-won sense of well-being because others don't feel so optimistic. I don't expect others to change their emotional state or frame of mind to make me comfortable, as far as I am concerned they can be as grumpy or depressed as they want...I will try to connect anyway, because that is something that is important in my world, but they may not want to be connected and that is their right. Being myself, is being who I am and be true to that self without giving up my sense of my own integrity to try to please someone else. I don't gossip and won't do it even if it seems that is what is expected. I will even say, that I don't believe in gossip and I believe it is damaging and unkind and then watch as people's eyes roll back in their head!! hehe

[BlueRidgeHomeRN]

heck, even my screen name is that of my childhood cat and i dream of living in the mountains-and you thought you knew something about me!!!:[anb]:

hey, come work for me!! we've got tons of mountains, and you and i can be not invited to tupperware parties together.

speaking of small southern towns, you left out my favorite-------- "you talk funny..".

yup, its called standard english!! but hey, everyone is so darn polite here, you can get stuck at a four way stop while everyone tries to get everyone else to go first!! really!!