How much do you feel that you can just "be yourself" at your job?

[deeDawntee, RN]

Recently, I started a second job, (and as second jobs go, it has been pretty darned exciting, it is in an ER and it is my first venture into ER nursing). But, as my second job, I haven't felt the same kind of pressure (internal or otherwise) to figure it all out and to try to be what I think I am supposed to be. I am truly just letting myself, be myself. So in the wake of this, it has become very clear how much I actually don't allow myself to just be who I am....whatever that is. In my primary job, I am much more concerned with how I am perceived (or how I think I am being perceived) by my coworkers and the management.

I don't like this realization.

Do any of you have any insight into this phenomenon? A few months ago, I wouldn't have even noticed this about myself, but I truly feel a whole lot more freedom at my second job, than at my primary job.

What is this sense of trying to give people what you think they want? Is that just being a good employee or is it selling out on who you are?

For instance, I sat down with my manager at my second job about some of the problems on the weekend I work. I was very forthcoming and it felt GREAT. Why don't I do that otherwise?

Any insight would be appreciated.....thanks.

[MIA-RN]

It could be that your primary job is one you rely on more, so you are trying really hard to remain the professional that we are trained to be. Also, I believe that people kind of 'get in a groove' and if you started this job with the mindset that you have to be one way, you will continue to be that way until something , like your second job, shows you otherwise. Perhpas there is a different aura or vibe in the ED than at the primary job. I work in an ED and there is a much different feeling there than when I was staff nurse on a floor. You kind of have to be more relaxed because just about anything can happen and it generally does.

Take the high school reunion, for example of what I mean about getting in a groove. We are all grown up, in careers, professions, whatever...but get to that 20th reunion and everyone breaks back into the mold they were in back then.

Sorry if this sounds disjointed--need more coffee--but I hope it provides a little insight.

[deeDawntee, RN]

Thanks MiaRN, I think you have some made some very good points. Perhaps it is more of an ER thing....you do have to be relaxed and be ready to shoot from the hip, so to speak.

It bothers me though, that I can't feel more free to be myself at my primary job, perhaps make a few waves, or whatever, without so much concern with what others think.

[showbizrn]

I also work 1 full-time and various free-lance jobs.

I'm usually relaxed at ALL jobs but have to keep in mind that all the rules of THERAPEUTIC COMMUNICATION DON'T FIT IN WITH MY PERSONALITY.

So sometimes, I have to be careful.

I'm sassy, smart-mouthed with a sharp-tongued sense of humor---

THAT DOESN'T ALWAYS JIBE WITH TEXTBOOK PROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOR.

In time, you'll find your balance.

I'm still re-inventing mine everyday.

Best wishes to you.

[CseMgr1, ASN, RN]

If I even pretended to "be myself" where I am now working, I'd be out the door. The problem is, it's getting harder and harder for me to keep up this facade.

I don't think it has been a secret to anyone here that I haven't been happy doing nursing for quite some time. I've been in it in one shape, fashion or form for 38 years, and have had enough. If I could find a job running a cash register today, I'd leave it...for good.

I attended a Disability Conference earlier this week. One of the speakers, an attorney who specializes in Elder Law summed it up: "Our Government has lost perspective and compassion regarding the health care needs of its most fragile and vulnerable population".

One could barely hear a pin drop in that auditorium. I wanted to stand up and applaud, but knew better. I just sat there, closing my eyes and nodded in agreement. "Amen..!", I whispered. "Amen...!"

Afterwards, I asked one of the Case Managers what she thought about his presentation. She just looked at me, took a drag off her cigarette, blew out the smoke and shrugged: "So?" I just turned around and walked away. I couldn't deal with it. I am actually sending cases to this woman who obviously doesn't give a flying fig if they get the care they need or not. Why am I doing this?

"Because you need the money.....Dummy!", I heard myself say. :lol_hitti

[tencat]

I think it all boils down to the people you work for and with. If it's 'safe' to be yourself (ie: no one will write it up, run to the boss, tattle, misconstrue it etc...) you will be. If the environment is toxic with people looking to tattle and backbite over every little thing and the boss is into that, then you will not feel 'safe' being yourself. I've been in both environments and find that it is much harder to find a place where I am 'safe' enough to be myself. I'm in one right now, and I am very thankful for that. It's not a difference between being professional or unprofessional. One can still be themselves and be professional. I think it's more about feeling valued and knowing that you have some freedom to voice some concerns and opinions without it coming back to bite you in the rear.

[RNperdiem, RN]

You can be whoever you want to be at work with me as long as the patients get taken care of, you show some basic social skills and manners, and you don't tell me too much of too personal information while being yourself.

[bigreddog1934]

i am a new nurse, eight months out of the box, and find that the amount that i can just be myself varies directly with the confidence i have in my abilities. when i first started i was hesitant to make any risky jokes or poke fun at one thing or another. it was because, as has been mentioned, i didnt want those things to be the hallmark of my participation in the er that i work in. now that i have some minimal skill and critical thinking ability, i find that humor and other areas of my social self arent that important for people's perception of me.

nursing doesnt necessarily get easier, but it does allow for some real personalities given time and experience.

[locolorenzo22, BSN, RN]

Personally, I have to bite back smart comments with patients that don't want to be compliant with their care. I do make small jokes to put patients at ease, and have not had anyone complain about them at all. Of course, I use most of the same lines, and don't make many waves.

If I can't be myself, I might as well go work at mcdonalds.....I work to pay the bills, and try to have as good and professional a time as I'm allowed to.

[ChristineN, BSN, RN]

I'm a younger soon to be GN (20) and I always find myself trying to be extremely professional around elderly pts (ma'am, sir, etc). I think I to be treated like an adult and don't want them to see me as an incompetent child that I try to act very responsible and respectable. When I'm with PEDS pts, however, it's a completely different story Alot more relaxed, not worried as much about appearance, just want a good raport with pt, which I can do by being myself.

[MzMouse]

It is such a fine line. I try to be very careful with how much I share and certainly how much personal information. Having worked with several nurses who share way too much way too soon, I have always made sure not to be that person.

But you can't just stay out of all the chitchat and keep to yourself. Then you become the rude, weird coworker who doesn't like anybody. Even though you might be just trying to do your job.

[Wise Woman RN]

I am always able to be myself at work, as long as I parrot the company line and am completely happy to participate in all of the wonderful "extra" committees and provide all of the extra paper work that has nothing to do with my job performance... Thank the lord for xanax and duct tape.