How should I go about going to job interviews having two little kids?

Mulan · Jul 3, 2005

Heck, I live clear across the country, but seriously, if I lived where you do I would be glad to babysit.

estrogen · Jul 3, 2005

Heck, I live clear across the country, but seriously, if I lived where you do I would be glad to babysit.

:flowersfo Thanks!

Mulan · Jul 3, 2005

You're welcome! :)

smk1, LPN · Jul 3, 2005

I would definately not like to tag my kids along BUT making assumption like yours about the inability to arrange for day care in the future and potential call ins sound very discriminative to me. I have arrangemets for daycare once a week because that is all I need in order to do my work right now. If I need other arrangements in the future, I'll make them. The fact that I am a mother, or even the possibility, that I didn't have anyone close by (or had such a drop-in daycare, that you speek of) instantly available for the hour of the interview, does not make me incompetent. If I was a nursing manager hiring people, I would understand this.. Sorry, but this erks
me.

it does sound discriminatory, but interviews are not the place for kids and if kids were brought along it would call into question professionalism, judgement and the idea about adequate daycare would come to mind. Maybe not fair but just how it is.

fergus51 · Jul 3, 2005

.
. That's how this world works, right? Us mom just allways have to bite the bullet. :)

Yep :chuckle That's the downside of the choice you made to be a mom. Everything has a downside, but I'm sure the ups outweigh them right?

tntrn, ASN, RN · Jul 3, 2005

I live in the Puget Sound area, so I can guarantee that bringing your kids to a job interview won't be a good thing. I totally disagree about it being discriminatory. The job interview is for you and the interviewer, not you, the interviewer and the kids. Perhaps in your native country that would be an acceptable thing. It is not here.

I have a dog, but I sure wouldn't bring the dog to an interview. IMHO, having anybody or anything else (such as a pet) there will only distract the interviewer and you. It's not in YOUR best interest as a potential employee to present this "picture" of yourself.

I will agree that it is difficult to do some things as the mother of young children. I was a single mom of two for several years myself. You are not single and assuming your spouse is supportive of your efforts to find another job, there must be something the two of you can figure out together to make it work.

As another poster said, "we all have a bullet to bite; they're just different bullets." But it just won't work in the long run to feel sorry for oneself each and every time something about the life you have chosen tosses a little curve ball at you. You said you are a powerful woman. If so, you have the power to solve this problem.

Again, good luck.

ZASHAGALKA, RN · Jul 4, 2005

Estrogen,

For the record, I never said that you would be a sick leave abuser, etc. because you have children. I said that an interview is your first impression, and, if the impression you give is that you cannot line up child care, it will kill your chances of getting the job.

Understand that an employer has an hour to evaluate you in an interview. That being the case, EVERYTHING takes on added significance. This is why most employers will throw out resumes with typos in them (if you can't get your first impression right, a first impression that you've had years to work on, what does that say about you?)

Everything in a job interview says something about you. Most successful job interviews, in my experience, involve finding a connection between the interviewer and interviewee - you can't do that when your attention is diverted. Not only will children at the interview be a bad first impression, it will detract you from making a successful first impression.

I agree that it is discrimination - but discrimination is not a bad thing. And it is the purpose of a job interview: to discriminate who you are. (as mentioned in a previous post by me, it's not discrimination in general that is wrong; it's discrimination for specific reasons such as race and age that is wrong).

And this isn't about being persecuted for having children. I have children, but I've never job interviewed with them. I agree that everybody has a price to pay for their place in life.

And I'm amazed that the childless poster didn't mention paying thousands a year in school taxes for the schools YOUR children will attend. And that on top of not getting tax breaks for crumbcrunchers. That would get me . . . much more than working Christmas.

~faith,

Timothy.

Home Health Columnist / Guide · Jul 4, 2005

My huband and I parent our children together. We take turns being off from work if they are too sick to be left alone. Is there a posibility that you could schedule an apointment in early AM or late PM so he could watch the kids and go in late or take the day off entirely? That's what I've done when no parent/neighbor available.

Best wishes with the job hunt. As a manger, if you came with kids unless I rescheduled on you on short notice, you'd be off my list---thinking that you would be prioritizing children over job.

allnurses Guide · Jul 4, 2005

My huband and I parent our children together. We take turns being off from work if they are too sick to be left alone. Is there a posibility that you could schedule an apointment in early AM or late PM so he could watch the kids and go in late or take the day off entirely? That's what I've done when no parent/neighbor available.
Best wishes with the job hunt. As a manger, if you came with kids unless I rescheduled on you on short notice, you'd be off my list---thinking that you would be prioritizing children over job.

My family does come before my job and always will. :)

I work part-time . .. funny, the hospital keeps calling me to come in and work more than my scheduled hours.

If you give them an inch, they'll take a mile . . . :)

I too don't think it is professional to take children to a job interview.

steph

RainDreamer, BSN, RN · Jul 4, 2005

Now THAT's some real advice. Thanks for that

I think all the posters have given some good and "real" advice. Just because you don't agree with it all doesn't mean it's not real advice, you know? What do you want us to say? That it's ok to go ahead and take your children along to your interview? Are you looking for validation that that's ok? You asked for serious advice and experiences, and that's what people are giving you :)

In our leadership management class, when we were learning about interviewing for jobs, they told us that an interviewer can't just flat out ask you if you have children and if that'll be a problem some days (in finding a sitter or whatever). But if you come forward with the information and TELL THEM during the interview that you have children and sometimes have a hard time finding a sitter (which will obviously be the case if you bring your children to the interview), then they can take that information into consideration. Like Timothy said, they can discriminate on this kind of stuff ..... but there is no reason why you have to even tell them you have children, don't let it become a concern on their part.

Good luck to you :)

ZASHAGALKA, RN · Jul 4, 2005

My family does come before my job and always will.

I think NRSKaren meant that the employer would be concerned that your children would take priority over work while you were at work.

(After God and Country,) my children, too, are the number one priority in my life. But a close second is providing the means to feed and water them (and to occasionally stimulate their minds full of mush). That requires not just a job, but a steady job. And keeping that job requires making it my priority when I'm there.

~faith,

Timothy.

renerian, BSN, RN · Jul 4, 2005

Here is my response after reading everyone else's and it is a double edged sword taking your children to an interview.

I have had people call me and ask if they can bring their children to an interview for which I appreciated the call first. Having been a single parent for many years I know how that feels but I made the choice to be a single parent and wore that hat. I usually am pretty candid and have a conversation about day care issues when that person calls. I have had people bring their children who are trying to move forward in a good direction trying to lay a foundation for a better life for themselves and their children by finding a job. This can be a boon to an employer if that person is dedicated to you because you have given them a chance to work and meeting them in the middle by letting their children come with them. I have found this to be a common situation for home health aides who many times have less resources to pay for day care, a sitter or many times have no one else to help them until they get money coming in to pay for child care. That person can be thankful to you as an employer because it shows you are flexible as you ask your employee to be as flexible with you.

The double edged part is I have done this and found that hiring someone that brings their children to an interview, ends up in the same boat with no day car and cancels alot of work they accepted. That has a bad taste for the employer and they tend to not try that again. I would say 75% of the time it has worked out as an employer and 25% of the time it has not.

I usually have a box of items to keep kids busy at times like this. Puzzles, books, crayons etc and that works well and the single parent sees compassion by an employer that says they understand the difficulty of the situation the single parent is in.

I have done many home health aide inservices where children were present. I allow that if the children are well behaved and the topic is of a non-offensive nature. If the topic is offsensive or unsuitable for young ones I tell the parent that this month the topic is not appropriate for children to hear and other arrangements are made for that employee.

My goal is to hire a hard working, flexible, compentent caregiver.

I have seen nothing offensive about this thread at all.

I hope this assists you.

renerian