How to handle inappropriate comments

[Sparrow23]

How do you all tactfully handle patient's inappropriate comments? One for instance decided to tell me how nice my derriere looked. Another tells me I'm the "sexiest nurse" he's had. I've lost track of how many felt it was appropriate to tell me I smell good (why yes, I shower, thanks for noticing). I don't feel particularly threatened by the comments, but I really am at a loss as to how to respond so as to maintain a caring but professional relationship with these people. Words of wisdom anyone?

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

CamaroNurse, this technique sounds like the patients need to be exposed to dubious information until the situation becomes repugnant to them.

We could call it "CamaroNurse's Aversion Therapy".

You know what's funny, there is a rapist on the loose in my area (no, THAT's not funny) who is picking up his victims in parking lots in broad daylight in locations near my hospital, so everyone's afraid to walk in the parking lots alone.

My solution? As you walk out to your car, put your cellphone to your ear and say loudly, "no, mom, it's going to be okay. The doc said it's only a herpes flare, NOT warts. Yes, mom, I AM taking my chlamydia medicine!"

So I suppose I am a firm believer in aversion therapy...

[Crash_Cart]

I have been told I smell nice but I don't consider that "inapropriate" per se. Sometimes people say things like that as an icebreaker to start a conversation. If they tell me I'm "Sexy," then I ask if they would like me to arrange for a consult with an optometrist.

[gentle]

I try to come up with nice mentally/emotionally workable careplans that keep all staff members smiling . Although, if my managers knew, . Oh well, this is an unwritten care plan for the staff more than the patients.

The care plan usually looks like this:

Knowledge deficit related to poor understanding of manners:

Goal (for nursing staff) do not slap patient silly.

Goal for patient: Patient will keep inappropriate comments to a minimum.

Interventions:

For nursing staff- restrict time spent with patient to prevent slapping patient silly.

For patient -

Patient will understand through multiple individuals that groping, cursing, kissing sounds are inappropriate by being told so.

Patient will receive various nurses to care for him throughout a shift so as to prevent one particular nurse from losing their mind and slapping him silly.

Charge nurse will be notified of patients inappropriate remarks as will Nurse Manager and DON if necessary.

Male staff members will be sent to provide care for in appropriate male patients who are rude to women.

Women staff members will assist with care to inappropriate female clients who are rude to males.

And then I just adjust as needed for gender preferences of the patient etc.

Evaluation:

outcome is considered excellent if patient is discharged without shoe marks applied to patient's hands or their head.

At any rate, the basic jest of what I'm trying to say, is that I laugh alot and use the situation to make me and my colleagues laugh. From a more relaxed place I am able to look at my "sleeze ball" patient and quickly intervene for what needs to be done and garner in assistance as often as possible.

I am more often SILENT. Even my energy levels change while dealing with this type of patient. The end result is that the patient picks up on my cues somehow or another. I ignore alot of what is being said that's inappropriate and keep pushing toward the goal - health and discharge to home or downgrade from stepdown to tele.

Hope this helps.

gentle

[Davey Do]

My solution? As you walk out to your car, put your cellphone to your ear and say loudly, "no, mom, it's going to be okay. The doc said it's only a herpes flare, NOT warts. Yes, mom, I AM taking my chlamydia medicine!"

So I suppose I am a firm believer in aversion therapy...

It's really interesting that you would mention that. Your concept is humourous, but I recall a similar technique.

If I remember correctly, back in the 70's, a fellow by the name of Fred Storaska did a seminar, called something like, "How to Confront a Rapist and Survive". One of the techniques he suggested was like your idea: say something that could be taken as repugnant to the potential perpetrator.

So, hey CamaroNurse, your advice might just do the trick in a traumatic situation.

[nursel56]

QUOTE=annacnatorn;4368923]. . . . .ugh..men....why???

I know!!! Why??? I asked one that very question today, and he didn't know, either!

Camaro and Davey-- yep, there is a real strategy to repel attackers/stalkers involving making yourself unattractive to a potential assailant. I read about it around 10 years ago. In short, it involves doing things that very likely will gross someone out and interfere with whatever sick fantasy is playing itself out in his mind.

I'll just strip the veneer off-- spitting, barfing, coughing, urinating etc. I'm supposing mentioning VD would also have that effect. I only read the one article, so I have no idea if there is any potential to dissuade a criminal or not, or whether the potential for violence could be increased-- but it is a real strategy.

Hope your hospital has security escorts for you, Camaro. One of our regular allergy shot patients turned out to be the local "Ski-Mask Rapist"!! He was charming. He was handsome. He could've gotten that without force. A total shock to all of us.

[txredheadnurse, BSN, RN]

I have found that a slight head tilt with a raised eyebrow is quite effective in stopping a lot of mean spirited or inappropriate remarks dead in their tracks. Or as my dh says you gave them "the look". I perfected the look while working in male prisons for over 10 years.

[68wildcat]

camaronurse that was totally funny! I laughed out loud when I read that last paragraph! OMG that was funny! I must remember that one.

[vegas2009]

I get harassed from men quite a bit as I am "top heavy", so I make an effort to wear a T-shirt under scrub tops...but I always get the hand there, makes me feel so uncomfortable, I tell them...My husband gets smacked for doing that...what do you think I should do with you? ugh..men....why???

Lol, I don't understand men and their fascination with bo*bs! Breasts are simply breasts, they're part of a woman's anatomy. I don't get men who go ga-ga over them?? I just find it funny. I think people should concentrate more on MEN WHO HAVE JIGGLY BO*BS! These "Jiggly MAN bo*bs" apparently show up in beaches, concerts and neighborhood parks. Watch out for them while taking a stroll in your lovely shopping malls. A lot of them need bras!

[greenfiremajick]

How do you all tactfully handle patient's inappropriate comments? One for instance decided to tell me how nice my derriere looked. Another tells me I'm the "sexiest nurse" he's had. I've lost track of how many felt it was appropriate to tell me I smell good (why yes, I shower, thanks for noticing). I don't feel particularly threatened by the comments, but I really am at a loss as to how to respond so as to maintain a caring but professional relationship with these people. Words of wisdom anyone?

Respond back with "Haven't seen your wife's lately, I take it?" "You should talk to her about that."

[rngolfer53]

I have been told I smell nice but I don't consider that "inapropriate" per se. Sometimes people say things like that as an icebreaker to start a conversation.

Wow, pickup lines are that bad nowadays?

[kalinka]

I don't mind people telling me that I smell nice.

I *do* mind patients being sexually inappropriate when they know better.

This probably wasn't the, ahem, right thing to do, but one time I sure as heck did manage to get the patient to be quiet about it.

Gross Patient: You're my nurse today?

Me: Yes, until 3 PM.

GP: Then I'm going to have to stay up all day.

Me: So you can annoy me?

GP: No, so I can LOOK at you. *licks lips*

Me: You know what's really strange? Ever since I had my sex change operation, the men just won't leave me alone!

"Ever since I had my sex change operation, the men just won't leave me alone!":lol2:

this is my favorite........i love it