I have a classmate who I get the feeling doesn't like me and I'm not sure way. I try to rise above it but the only thing is she is friends with my friends so not do I only have class and labs with her everyday, I eat lunch with her, go on walk breaks with her, all because we are with the entire group of friends that we share.
I asked if I could partner with her and another classmate one day, and she was just like "yeah, sure" and didn't look at me. She ignored me and then when I asked if we could use the teacher's dual stethescope for BP so we could listen at the same time, she said no, I just want to do it by myself. Really? Especially since are test will use the teacher's BP. I tried adding her on facebook but she didn't accept so I canceled it. When we are in groups she never talks to me directly, when we were doing critiques of our videos between the 6 of us, she gave everyone positive comments verbally, and stayed mum when it came to me.
I have tried to be nice, and I tried to rise above it all so I gave her a postiive comment that I like about her video. I'm too old for this, I"m a second degree student. Is this highschool all over again. I hated high school. I feel like I should confront her and discuss it, but I've never done that before. Or should I continue to ignore it and just let it go?
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Sometimes, I'm so happy I'm not a girl.
You should be, how convenient that you can just go pee in a bush when camping hassle free :|
I agree with majority here, she isn't being rude and you won't be liked by everyone. There are many people in my class I am not friends with, will never be friends with, but I am respectful to them. I interact with them as much as I have to and that's pretty much it. There are some people I like in smaller doses as well. We won't all be liked by everyone just as we won't like everyone we encounter. When you are forced to be with each other it's best to be civil and polite but it doesn't need to be more than that.
I have a classmate who I get the feeling doesn't like me and I'm not sure way. I try to rise above it but the only thing is she is friends with my friends so not do I only have class and labs with her everyday, I eat lunch with her, go on walk breaks with her, all because we are with the entire group of friends that we share.
I asked if I could partner with her and another classmate one day, and she was just like "yeah, sure" and didn't look at me. She ignored me and then when I asked if we could use the teacher's dual stethescope for BP so we could listen at the same time, she said no, I just want to do it by myself. Really? Especially since are test will use the teacher's BP. I tried adding her on facebook but she didn't accept so I canceled it. When we are in groups she never talks to me directly, when we were doing critiques of our videos between the 6 of us, she gave everyone positive comments verbally, and stayed mum when it came to me.
I have tried to be nice, and I tried to rise above it all so I gave her a postiive comment that I like about her video. I'm too old for this, I"m a second degree student. Is this highschool all over again. I hated high school. I feel like I should confront her and discuss it, but I've never done that before. Or should I continue to ignore it and just let it go?
I don't think she is being rude as much as she is ignoring you...what are you going to confront her with? The fact she doesn't want to be friends with you on Facebook and won't speak to you?
I would let it go and ignore her as well...who cares if you have the same group of friends?
However, on the stethescope issue? I would have spoken up. After I asked if I could use it and she said no, I would say, "Well, the question, Susie, was kind of rhetorical because when you are done I need you to hand me the dual stethescope because all of us need practice before our test."...and I would have said it with a very insistent tone and I would seriously doubt if she would have still refused.
You are internalizing this way too much...let it go.
I have the same situation in my ABSN program. The courseload of 3 lectures, and 3 clinicals is nothing compared to the stress from all the drama in my nursing school.
Maybe it's better for her to remain mum, than to say something that could really hurt your feelings? Not a bad strategy, imo.
First I don't see anything she did as being rude.....she just is not flat out friendly with you....and you can not expect that from everyone.
Who knows why other then her, but is it really that big of an issue that you need to confront her about it? Maybe she just isn't comfortable with you, maybe you remind her of someone that she has bad memories attached to, maybe she feels intimidated by you, maybe its just petty.....maybe she is just so wrapped up in everything with nursing school that she isnt going to pay anyone any mind that she wasnt already friends with.....maybe she has gotten weird vibes from you due to you trying so hard to be her friend so she has tried to distance herself from you more(me personally, i would be very weirded out by someone i hardly know trying to add me on face book). Any way around it, confronting her isn't going to change her....probably only make things more awkward between the 2 of you because it actually will come across as rather petty as she has been civil with you.
Unless she starts actually being rude i would leave it go, just be civil with her and worry about yourself......making rude comments to you or about you....undermining your relationships with people that actually are your friends....undermining your schooling...then would be time to confront her.
I agree with majority here, she isn't being rude and you won't be liked by everyone. There are many people in my class I am not friends with, will never be friends with, but I am respectful to them. I interact with them as much as I have to and that's pretty much it. There are some people I like in smaller doses as well. We won't all be liked by everyone just as we won't like everyone we encounter. When you are forced to be with each other it's best to be civil and polite but it doesn't need to be more than that.
I am always amazed when I hear what goes on outside the classroom (or in the back of the room), about who can't stand who. The reality is, when you're dealing with a predominantly female environment, add the stress of being sleep deprived, over-worked, under or unemployed, and pure frustration of getting through classes, clinicals and exams, you are bound to have people who do not get along. My point is, I usually have no clue of these dynamics and drama. Most students come in, do their thing, be respectful of their classmates and go home. Even in clinical (where you really spend more "personal" time with them), when I know there are people who don't care for each other, they really don't let it show. I see this as a sign of maturity, as well as good preparation for the real world. I've had this with co-workers too (faculty), and most students never catch on either.
Life is FULL of people who are just not going to like you, and it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Let's be honest, we don't like everyone we have to socialize with; family, friends of friends, other parents (if you are a parent) and of course co-workers. Sometimes we don't have a real good reason, nor do we need one. maybe the person shares a name of someone you hate, they remind you of someone, etc. Whatever it may be, the key is to not be that obvious about it.
IMO, if you confront her, you will not like her answer. There's an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, where this happened, and Ray just wouldn't rest until he had a reason that this guy didn't like him.
Specializes in Critical Care, Emergency Medicine, Flight.
like others said, there is also the neutral-polite medium where the other person is neither interested in becoming best buddies nor in starting a life-long feud. in this kind of interaction, people who do not like each other can still interact professionally and constructively. to expect only black-or-white relationships like "friends" or "enemies" might be the true immature thinking.
i didnt mean it like that... i mean weve been friends for 2 years and she just up & quit talking me so idk what the deal is; by being against me i mean if ur not gonna lift me up , ur gonna bring me down with some snarky comment or some kind of negativity..and i dont need that.school is wayyyyyyyyyy stressful as is!
this is why the majority of my friends are guys..hahah.
instructors' perspective here:
i am always amazed when i hear what goes on outside the classroom (or in the back of the room), about who can't stand who. the reality is, when you're dealing with a predominantly female environment, add the stress of being sleep deprived, over-worked, under or unemployed, and pure frustration of getting through classes, clinicals and exams, you are bound to have people who do not get along. my point is, i usually have no clue of these dynamics and drama. most students come in, do their thing, be respectful of their classmates and go home. even in clinical (where you really spend more "personal" time with them), when i know there are people who don't care for each other, they really don't let it show. i see this as a sign of maturity, as well as good preparation for the real world. i've had this with co-workers too (faculty), and most students never catch on either.
life is full of people who are just not going to like you, and it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. let's be honest, we don't like everyone we have to socialize with; family, friends of friends, other parents (if you are a parent) and of course co-workers. sometimes we don't have a real good reason, nor do we need one. maybe the person shares a name of someone you hate, they remind you of someone, etc. whatever it may be, the key is to not be that obvious about it.
imo, if you confront her, you will not like her answer. there's an episode of everybody loves raymond, where this happened, and ray just wouldn't rest until he had a reason that this guy didn't like him.
Personally, I think you have two choices, both depending on how confrontational you want to be:
1. Talk to her, ask her point blank what the problem is. Maybe she thinks you treated her the same way once, not the most adult reaction to it if you did, but you never know. Or, maybe it comes down to a plain old case of jealousy, maybe she is envious of your test scores, etc., again, not an adult reaction, but you never know.
2. Chalk it up to the fact that not everyone likes everyone, it does happen. Sure, it would be great if all of the students could get along and study together. Sure, it would be great if you got along with everyone that your friends got along with, but sometimes that doesn't happen. It may sound harsh, but some people just don't like some people because of whatever reason.
Actually, I've had a similar experience this semester myself. I've known this particular person since elementary school, but we were never what you would call "friends" as she was a friend's older sister. Anyway, we both wound up in the nursing program together, and she's friends with some friends of mine, but she looks right through me. I've decided that we don't have to be friends... There are 50 people in our program, and at the end of the day, I'm not really missing out if she doesn't like me for whatever reason! :)
I agree with everyone's comments. We have entirely tooooo much work to do as nursing students, not to mention as adults. Keep doing you, study and get great grades, she may or may not come around, but if she doesn't who cares, wish her the best.....
Just move on. If your the only one trying to have a friendship its not going to work unless she puts in the effort too. Nursing students have enough to deal with and enough stress over material. Don't stress over her.
why do we care too much about what someone else thinks of us or if they like us, you are not in school to get validated by ur classmate, i say ignore her n act the way she is acting towards u.
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That Guy, BSN, RN, EMT-B
3,421 Posts
Sometimes, I'm so happy I'm not a girl.