So long story short, I was homeschooled and entered college at 15 almost 16.
Two years later, I am now 18 and in a community college RN program and will graduate at 19 in little over a year. I am about 5 years younger than everyone! I am also very different in personality and take myself very seriously (most people think I look 16, but guess 22 if that helps).
I have absolutely no problems with school, although it is like bootcamp, and I am top of my class. My problem is I have no friends or like minded people. Whenever I do "group projects" I always feel like I do most of the thinking and have to babysit "kids" 5-20 years older than myself. Also, people only talk to me when they want to borrow something or want me as their personal dictionary. I also WILL NOT TOLERATE or converse about the same things as my class mates (i.e sex, getting drunk, personal problems, severe profanity, etc.)
Lastly, my goal is to go overseas to work someday and everyone I talk to thinks it is very unrealistic and rather selfish toward my own community. I would also like to note that I really don't let what a lot of people say bother me, but I would like to know if there are others out there sharing the same struggles as far as age and determination goes.
You sound like you take yourself too seriously. This is coming from a guy who became an RN at the age of 20. Judging your older classmates like you do (as is evident from your post) makes you seem like you're overcompensating for your age. Group projects suck, it has nothing to do with the fact that your classmates are older.
'not tolerating' conversations about sex, alcohol, personal problems, or with profanity seriously limits your conversations to only school-related topics, really, and that's a pretty boring topic to continuously talk about. You need to open your mind a bit and don't get so offended over these 'adult' topics. You don't have to become a promiscuous alcoholic but honestly, 'sex, alcohol, and personal problems' would constitute about 85% of day-to-day chatting with your potential friends.
It sounds like you have more maturation to experience than that of which you are aware and need to consider that perhaps the reason you feel out of place or isolated is because of the way you come off to others and possibly treat others. Nursing school is about endurance, it isn't a race. You need to at least be civil with the people you're in it with, preferably on an acquaintance level.
Please remember, I went through nursing school as a 19/20 year old. I did not experience any of these issues and actually met my best friend there, who is 28. Age really is irrelevant; it's your maturity level and how you treat people. Nursing school is really nothing compared to the politics of real world nursing and the level of professionalism and social fluidity you have to possess to survive the work environment. Do some deep soul searching; you may be surprised what you find.
Something else that had popped into my mind - there are some people that will focus on getting a rise out of others. Why? A variety of reasons. "Getting them to loosen up" and "knocking them down a peg" are the two biggest reasons that I've been given in the past.
So when you say that you won't tolerate certain subjects, boom, you've handed over the keys to the kingdom right there.
And in regards to traveling...been there, done that, have the t-shirt. It's not as great or glamorous as it looks on TV. You aren't a native, you don't know the culture or customs, and it can be oh so easy to accidentally offend somebody. In a third-world country? The health care systems are NOT what people from a first - world country like the US are used to. Not pallets on a dirt floor, not always, but the countries I've been to were more like American hospitals in the 1940s and 50s. And they're just fine with that; they've learned how to work with what they have and they're rightfully proud of that.
It's obvious you're smart, OP, but at the same time woefully unsocialized. That will come, in time, but it will require some work on your part.
Man when I was 19 i was playing video games and getting drunk all the time. Good job on keeping serious through the young years thats a hard thing to do. but they are probably just jealous because they were more like me when they were your age and not doing what they are supposed to.
If people take it the wrong they way they can get jealous very easily. My wife did the right thing throughout here schooling and she will basically be a MD at 25 years of age when she graduates. Technically I could look at her and be jealous and such but you know people that work harder in life USUALLY come out in better circumstance. Of course there are many variables. Overall, I would not feel bad getting treated like dirt from a group of adults in a community college nursing program. More often than not they are just there to make ends meet and aren't really academically minded.
My advice is embrace your geeky/nerdy, socially awkward self and make learning about the outside world part of your education along with your school subjects. Accept that you are very young and every day will be a learning education not just in nursing subjects but entire world around you. Nursing school is a hot mess. So many personalities coming together to learn a very serious subject.
You have the overachievers, the learn at all costs, the "I want to get the best grades, and everyone to know it" people. You have the, "I get straight As and never open a book" people. You have been slammed into the pool of life and need to accept and learn about the "others" out there.
I love the idea of you joining a non nursing club. Maybe chess, or debate or theater. You have left the cocoon and are taking flight into the great unknown. As you go through life each person you meet will teach you something. It may be positive or negative but embrace the opportunity to learn.
Once you get out of school everything will be way different, better and you will find like minded people.
Hey createddaisy. Two things I noticed that I just wanted to say I noticed you only "liked" the two people who wrote they are identical to you pretty much. You claim this wasn't a rant, yet you wrote about how you are lonely, and I felt for you and still do. But you didn't engage anyone who replied to you here in conversation except your "twin." I think you may go through most of your life lonely if you only want to relate to people with close backgrounds as you. I have a very different background, I got D's in high school and almost didn't graduate, I was in 2 foster homes, and I did things I wasn't proud of that you probably wouldn't tolerate hearing about. Now I'm very spiritual, in honors societies and the dean's honors, work in a hospital, have good friends, etc. See judging people on their past would be a mistake.
Anyway like I said I felt for you because you said you're dealing with loneliness. I don't think you'd be lonely anymore if you stopped trying to only relate to people who are "just like you" in background and exact interests! I'd be your friend online!
There are two issues I see here to why you may not be meshing in well with the rest of your classmates.
1. You are young and really don't have many life experiences. I know 5 years may not seem like a big gap but trust me you can learn a lot about life in 5 years that gives you some wisdom and insight that you didn't know 5 years earlier. Your classmates may not talk to you much because they probably think they don't have much in common with you.
2. You seem intellectually mature but socially immature. Getting home schooled, I'm sure has it's benefits but one of the main downfalls is that it doesn't prepare you on how to interact socially among people of backgrounds and cultures. You need to socially mature in order to be able to interact with the rest of society. This may need to be your top priority because if you want to be a nurse and don't know how to socialize or interact to a variety of people then you are in for a very rude wake up call.
You can always find alleast 1 thing you have in common with someone. It doesn't matter what it is. If you carry this attitude with you to your RN job you will be isolated, probably not helped or supported. People want to feel accepted around others and like they are as important as you.
At 17 I was also the youngest nursing student in a community college program there were only 4 students take. Out of high school. All 34 others were older. Most had previous backgrounds in health care. I felt lost. I was top of my class in high school and all of a sudden found myself starting over again. I did my best to make friends and several of the older experiance students were a big help. A study group was fantastic. I graduated and passed my boards at 19. My first position was in a facility where 3 LNAs were mothers of my high school classmates. I was again afraid but they were great at teaching me skills (such as how to approach patient's families) etc
So take advantage of other students knowledge and learn from them. The social skills will come with time and experiance. Good luck.
must be tough. i felt the same way when i first began nursing school, although for some fairly different reasons. i was eager to make friends because getting through schooling alone is tough, although i was at the same time a bit stand-off-ish because i didn't feel like most of my class were "my kind of people" and pretty much vice verse; i felt like no one really wanted much to do with me either.
one thing to remember is that, youre not there to make friends. youre there to learn, do well, and leave. If thats how you have to spend the duration of your program, then be prepared to do just that.
however a bit of advice from my point of view, and what helped me get over it is that, it doesn't hurt to be flexible. i'm not saying become best friends with them, nor am i saying bend your principles to "fit in", but nursing school is extremely burdensome on its own, and for me, i was willing to let go of some of the bias i had towards my classmates just to make my time easier. and it really helped a lot. so make an effort to get along with them, just enough so that it doesn't feel like such a strain to be around them, and so isolated, because you're going to be there for quite some time and you'll be spending quite some time with them. and it doesn't get any easier.
nobody is going to understand the effort you're going through to get through nursing school like your classmates will. well, except maybe for this forum;)
Hi, I started pretty young too with nursing. I got my BSN done when I was 19. Started working at 20. I'm asian which makes me look a whole lot younger (i guess). People thought i was 14 when i was actually 19. Now, im 23 but they see me as a 17y/o.
I had very few but real bonds with friends when i was in college. I just had to be myself. You dont have to be fake to be wonderful in the eyes of most of the people. I know that im goal oriented and focused on my studies and now, with my career. It was a struggle to be respected when i started working. I had to quit a job coz my CNAs were giving me a hard time. Just coz i was a new nurse doesnt mean im dumb and getting an RN license at a young age means a lot. I became tough over time and set expectations with my coworkers and me. I make sure that I get my job done and i help out as i can and tell my CNAs or my techs my expectations from them too.
As for the conversations, im very conservative but I do end up getting caught on conversations like sex, weeds, etc. I just answer them politely like "well, that's nice that you get to live with someone and get to know him a lot before you ger married and Im happy for you but i cant really say much more other than that opinion since in my culture, we cant have sex until we get married" or like laugh abt some stuff when they start really getting detailed about sex "oh my God!! You're polluting my innocent mind!! Haha"
----Awknowledge how they feel, if they're happy and responsible for themself, then go ahead and tell them but, always mention how you are with it.
I have a tech that is so resposible. Best employee ever. Always employee of the month then he confessed that he smokes weeds. I wasnt expecting that. So i said "oh, that's unexpected. I dont have a lot of good experiences arounf people who smoke weeds . But how do you feel when you smoke? (Then he opens up) well if you use it, just dont use it at work, you wouldnt want to be in trouble you know. And be sure to take care when you're driving."
---Open your mind to these realities. You dont have to be a part of them. You're already aware, you just need to be open.
---just be yourself plus be respectful. They'll love you
---im not very good with making friends but SMILE all the time. They'll approach you
I entered nursing school at age 52...no previous degree. I had stayed isolated as a farm wife for years. I preferred it that way because life kept teaching me I didn't fit in...every time I tried things went inevitably wrong,things seemed to get botched. I raised kids, and became active in church and tried to support the kids being active in social events/activities. I homeschooled a couple of my kids, one all the way though graduation, at that child's continued choice. Looking back, I'm sure it showed to others that I was awkward, or didn't want to be there, or couldn't wait to get home. I loved my farm life and my animals. But life will be life and I entered nursing school after all of my children left the nest. I was terrified. I was by far the oldest person there, with post secondary students all around and the occasional 30 something.
But you know what, I finally found my calling. I found out that I have been a nurse my whole life, I just didn't know it. Suddenly, and believe me, it was a sudden dawning, as I listened to perspectives and stories from all of my classmates, instructors and absorbed the books, videos and clinical experiences...that for the first time in my life I did fit in, and I have all along, I was just not with my people until I met other nurses.
I am finally comfortable in my own skin, all day, everyday, no matter what I'm doing. I can hear anything, judgment free, with the perspective of a nurse...like, huh...really, there's one I never thought about before. Or, really, wow, what people go through to make them who they are is ...nothing short of miraculous and plain ol' life all rolled into one.
May you be blessed, and find yourself to be a nurse among nurses.
sjalv
897 Posts
You sound like you take yourself too seriously. This is coming from a guy who became an RN at the age of 20. Judging your older classmates like you do (as is evident from your post) makes you seem like you're overcompensating for your age. Group projects suck, it has nothing to do with the fact that your classmates are older.
'not tolerating' conversations about sex, alcohol, personal problems, or with profanity seriously limits your conversations to only school-related topics, really, and that's a pretty boring topic to continuously talk about. You need to open your mind a bit and don't get so offended over these 'adult' topics. You don't have to become a promiscuous alcoholic but honestly, 'sex, alcohol, and personal problems' would constitute about 85% of day-to-day chatting with your potential friends.
It sounds like you have more maturation to experience than that of which you are aware and need to consider that perhaps the reason you feel out of place or isolated is because of the way you come off to others and possibly treat others. Nursing school is about endurance, it isn't a race. You need to at least be civil with the people you're in it with, preferably on an acquaintance level.
Please remember, I went through nursing school as a 19/20 year old. I did not experience any of these issues and actually met my best friend there, who is 28. Age really is irrelevant; it's your maturity level and how you treat people. Nursing school is really nothing compared to the politics of real world nursing and the level of professionalism and social fluidity you have to possess to survive the work environment. Do some deep soul searching; you may be surprised what you find.