So long story short, I was homeschooled and entered college at 15 almost 16.
Two years later, I am now 18 and in a community college RN program and will graduate at 19 in little over a year. I am about 5 years younger than everyone! I am also very different in personality and take myself very seriously (most people think I look 16, but guess 22 if that helps).
I have absolutely no problems with school, although it is like bootcamp, and I am top of my class. My problem is I have no friends or like minded people. Whenever I do "group projects" I always feel like I do most of the thinking and have to babysit "kids" 5-20 years older than myself. Also, people only talk to me when they want to borrow something or want me as their personal dictionary. I also WILL NOT TOLERATE or converse about the same things as my class mates (i.e sex, getting drunk, personal problems, severe profanity, etc.)
Lastly, my goal is to go overseas to work someday and everyone I talk to thinks it is very unrealistic and rather selfish toward my own community. I would also like to note that I really don't let what a lot of people say bother me, but I would like to know if there are others out there sharing the same struggles as far as age and determination goes.
Wow. There is about a 30 (or perhaps more) year age difference in our cohort, and we really all get along and support each other, despite our differences. This does not mean that we all hold hands and skip everywhere, but that I feel like I could talk to anyone. We do have smaller groups that we tend to stick with, but again we all talk with each other.
OP-I like to try to see the positive in things, so let's just use your current experiences as a life lesson for when you are working as a nurse. You will work with others who have different beliefs and perhaps share a little too much. You need to figure out how to work with this person. Sometimes it is just finding that one little thing that you have in common. Your patients need to feel that they can tell you anything, and they will, and that you will not judge them. Use this time now to start working on your bedside personality. :)
Use this time now to start working on your bedside personality. :)
That's just what I was wondering about, how you act with bedside manner? Patients will use profanity, talk about sex (you should ask about sex!), and about their personal problems! Maybe to help you, pretend to act with your classmates how you would with a patient. Steer the topic away from getting drunk or cursing?
And you wrote about people not getting you. I think you misunderstand that. People do understand you, maybe not all, but they don't need an identical background as you to be able to understand and relate to you.
P.S. I understand you! I'm only a year older than you, but I have friends all ages, one of my best dog walking friends she is over 50!!
When classmates start a discussion about drugs or alcohol, I wonder if you might want to try to listen and you can say something like "what did the book say about alcohol and diabetics again?" or Idk but something you show them you're listening and participating but sneakily change the topic to something with a better vibe.
Thank you so much for posting this!!! I realize I may have come off prideful, but that was not my intent (I am naturally an observer and introvert, I really don't respond to any harmful comments). I am also a Christian and find your words inspiring. Thank you just being you tonight, that was so encouraging!
To everyone else who posted: I understand I deal with some social barriers, but overall I help my classmates as much as possible and interact with them well according to my professors. Honestly, the hard part is just holding it all in sometimes after the whole week when no one really understands or "gets me". I grin and bear it. I really don't appreciate being cussed out by my classmates just for being different, adhering to the rules set by the instructors, or for my conscience.
I I guess this is where I have the problem. You can be a Christian without being so judgemental of your classmates. You can still honor your religion and be tolerant of your classmates.
I dont one want to turn this into a religious conversation, but you brought it in. I grew up in the church. I was very active in my church for many years, but I never judged other people for their choices in life.
As a nurse, you are going to run into so many different people and their cultures. You are going to have to be able to communicate without judgement. You are going to have to sometimes put your beliefs aside to care for a patient and their family who has the opposite morals and values. This is important to learn. If you can't communicate effectively with your classmates, how will you with your patients?
Overall this post was not to be a rant, but rather a way to see if other people are trying desperately to be different and succeeding.
Try desperately to be different how? You mean not talking inappropriately and to act mature?
My cohort does not do the things you described about conversation and we're mostly 19. Sure a discussion about personal alcohol use came up during lunch but it wasn't inappropriately conducted. Bad language is hardly ever used by any of us, at least they don't when we're at school, I don't know about their private lives. My nursing school handbook has all that in it though, about conducting yourself with self respect, etc. and they really drilled it in us in our intro to nursing class about a nurse and nursing student setting a higher standard of values and needing to be careful about how we act.
OP, your classmates are talking about things that you'll hear on the unit all the time, sadly. I also suspect that it happens far less than you feel that it does, but since these are topics that you are uncomfortable with, you focus on them more.
If I may make one suggestion, however? Look into the clubs at your school and join one. That way you'll be able to interact with more people, especially outside of the nursing program.
And really, you're now living my one big complaint about homeschooling - the lack of exposure to a wide range of personalities that people get attending public/private schools. So unless the student is given lots of opportunities to interact with people in their age groups, said student hasn't had the chance to learn how to work with, well, people like your classmates.
I also got into my nursing program at 18. There were other students who were older and struggling with work, family and school. Naturally they thought anyone young enough to enroll was crazy. This was 27 years ago. I am glad that I stuck it out. My former classmates actually admire my passion for nursing. Don't worry about feeling left out. Once I started working it was like a college life extension. I met new co workers and even went on trips. Keep respecting your knowledge. Others will see your true worth and your love for nursing. Best of luck.☺
I agree with Nonyvole in that I think you should get involved in groups that are separate from the nursing school. I would suggest finding other former homeschoolers your age outside of nursing school. Or even just people your age, for that matter. Find a young adult group at a church and get involved with it. It's healthy to maintain a life that is separate from your work and studies. Concentrate on building friendships outside of school, and try to view the nature of the relationship with your classmates as a professional one. You're all there for one primary reason- to become a nurse- so focus on that.
As for the profanity and other stuff, let it be water off your back. You don't have to take part in those conversations. Just try your best to be friendly. Jesus hung out with a lot of people that the pharisees of his time didn't approve of. He didn't judge them, and he didn't let them change him.
I think what you've already accomplished is awesome. No need to change who you are or feel bad about it. Just keep going and enjoy your life. Don't worry about other people.
I just started my nursing program at 18. I'm the youngest by a few years, but luckily, I have always been pretty mature for my age, and I like hanging out with people older than me. I think just putting yourself out there will help. Some of the nicest/most helpful people in my class are the older, more experienced students. Don't think of yourself as super young or them as super old; you're all in the same situation, just trying to survive school. You will have to learn to work with people of all ages once you become a nurse. Good luck!
Your post smacks of immaturity. If you do not like to "babysit" then don't. Problem solved. You want to go overseas. Ok..then do it. Who cares what anyone else says. You are very focused on what others are doing and saying...worry about yourself. I don't care if you "won't tolerate" people talking about getting drunk and their personal problems. You are going to have patients who are prostitutes, drug users, and use profanity. Are you NOT GOING TO TOLERATE them as well? If you don't want to be around people then don't. Go do something else.
Your post smacks of immaturity. If you do not like to "babysit" then don't. Problem solved. You want to go overseas. Ok..then do it. Who cares what anyone else says. You are very focused on what others are doing and saying...worry about yourself. I don't care if you "won't tolerate" people talking about getting drunk and their personal problems. You are going to have patients who are prostitutes, drug users, and use profanity. Are you NOT GOING TO TOLERATE them as well? If you don't want to be around people then don't. Go do something else.
THIS!
OP, I get it. You sound a lot like me when I was your age (I feel so old writing this). I was prudish and socially awkward and had big dreams of going overseas, you know, somewhere in the global south where all the poor people are to 'help' them. I thought my classmates' interests were shallow and immature because they liked pop music and reality TV and binge drinking.
Thank god I did not go to nursing school then.
Instead I got degrees in anthropology and social justice, traveled the world and met people from all walks of life. In that time I shed most of my prejudices and experienced living in many kinds of ways that were so very different to the way I was raised. Only then could I actually be not only a competent nurse but a caring empathetic one. Your patients will come from all walks of life and make decisions that you think are wrong and when those decisions result in health problems you will be tasked with caring for them. How will you care for someone who you may feel 'got what they deserved' by doing things 'wrong'? (Now to clarify I am not putting words in your mouth or insinuating that you have these thoughts or beliefs per se, I am reflecting on the ways that I myself approached life when I was 19). My personal experience was that I couldn't understand other people's lives until I had some experiences that I was ashamed of and came to the realization that the difference between myself and the drug addict I am taking care of is pure luck.
I'm not saying quit nursing school and go get addicted to smack. What I'm saying is keep your mind open and make sure you find ways to connect with people who are vastly different from you. Build your empathy. Your life won't be ruined if you loosen up a little and make an off color joke here and there. Mostly it comes with time anyway. Good luck.
SweetandSalty
105 Posts
I know a person homeschooled with the same issues as far as fitting in. You are young and if you make an effort it will get better :)