How to deal with loneliness as a VERY young RN student...any help or advice?

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So long story short, I was homeschooled and entered college at 15 almost 16.

Two years later, I am now 18 and in a community college RN program and will graduate at 19 in little over a year. I am about 5 years younger than everyone! I am also very different in personality and take myself very seriously (most people think I look 16, but guess 22 if that helps).

I have absolutely no problems with school, although it is like bootcamp, and I am top of my class. My problem is I have no friends or like minded people. Whenever I do "group projects" I always feel like I do most of the thinking and have to babysit "kids" 5-20 years older than myself. Also, people only talk to me when they want to borrow something or want me as their personal dictionary. I also WILL NOT TOLERATE or converse about the same things as my class mates (i.e sex, getting drunk, personal problems, severe profanity, etc.)

Lastly, my goal is to go overseas to work someday and everyone I talk to thinks it is very unrealistic and rather selfish toward my own community. I would also like to note that I really don't let what a lot of people say bother me, but I would like to know if there are others out there sharing the same struggles as far as age and determination goes.

Thanks!

Elizabeth

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Do you think your classmates pick up on how you feel like you are more mature and have to babysit them? I'm not criticizing how you act, just they may be aware of it and avoid you (except for a quick reference guide).

Most of my classmates are 19 like me, but there are older ones too. Most of them say I act more mature than my age, which surprised me! I'm very serious in school though.

I can only see that you might have to change your own attitude and make more effort to get along with others, not change who you are though and what topics you don't care to participate in! It will help for learning how to get along with people when you work as part of a healthcare team in the future.

About visiting other countries... you can simply say something like "I have plans to do a lot of good here, too."

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I agree with direw0lf. I have always struggled with hanging with people because I feel much older and act more mature than the other 23 year olds I know but with that said it is about balance. You are very young to be in college so most probably see you as such. It is not a bad thing to keep your head down for a bit and focus on class. Try and make friends your age with the same interest maybe outside of school.

If all else fails, form a good study group even if you are leading the group. Nursing bonds are great!

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You're going to work with different people with different personalities, beliefs, and culture. The best advice I can give is find a topic that you guys can talk about. Some people may not show their seriousness for education overtly but none the less they might be serious about school. I can understand where you're coming from. I talk to people in my class who are the total opposite of me and I actually like learning new things about them.

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No offense intended, but the vibe I get from your post is that you perceive yourself to be better than your classmates. People don't really like that.

I would suggest asking for their input when you're doing group projects to involve them. If you're the one putting in all the effort, step back for a second and let them contribute.

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Specializes in Cardiac, Home Health, Primary Care.

When you say you WILL NOT TOLERATE discussion of topics you deem inappropriate what do you do when these topics come up?

I do see where kraken is coming from. It does almost seem that you think you are better than some of them for being so mature. If you do not mean it that way I apologize as it's tough to get tone through text.

Anyway, I also do not like the topics you mentioned and I don't participate in those discussions either. I am an observer by nature, though, so I just sit and listen to other conversations for the most part. I don't shut them down or walk away rudely or say I'm uncomfortable. Just observe.

My biggest question/reason for posting is to ask how you react when the topics you disapprove of come up.

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Specializes in ICU.
No offense intended, but the vibe I get from your post is that you perceive yourself to be better than your classmates. People don't really like that.

I would suggest asking for their input when you're doing group projects to involve them. If you're the one putting in all the effort, step back for a second and let them contribute.

This. Welcome to the real world of people with different values, culture, morals. Are you not learning cultural diversity in your nursing classes? It's kind of important. Different cultures are not just people in differing countries. You have them in your own class.

You are showing your immaturity in your post. You may have finished your schooling early, but maybe should learn some social skills.

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Specializes in CCU, CVICU, CVRU, Cardiac Cath Lab, RRT.

Wow...I think I just met my twin nursing student. I was homeschooled, started community college at 17 (almost 18) and after doing my freshman/sophomore years in one year, started the RN program (at age 18) in the fall of 2015. It has been a pretty big adjustment, mostly socially. As an introvert who enjoys science, philosophy, math, etc., I have very little in common to discuss with my classmates who have a materialistic orientation (I am not saying they are wrong, just different) and mostly discuss the topics you mentioned (i.e. sex, getting drunk, personal problems, severe profanity, etc.).

Prior to starting the program, I just went to my classes, did the work, did it well and that was the end of it. Very rarely did I talk to anyone with the exception of a few international students who I seem to connect with. Being in the program is different though, because I am with the same people at least three days a week for two full years. People usually pick on me; either my plain and young looks or my nerdiness. I realized that if I was going to make it, especially in lab and clinical, I needed to at least have some type of relationship with my classmates. Personally, I love watching people try to understand things, so I can talk about what we are studying. I also started an online group for sharing notes, links and resources for our nursing studies. Everyone seems to like it, but those that post more frequently tend to be more serious about the academics of the program and I have made some nice acquaintances among them. We are always asking each other questions and learning from each other.

There are still difficult moments, like this week in clinical when I was told by a classmate that I just needed to mess up my life for a few years and then come back to school (followed by profanity). It didn't really hurt me emotionally, but I wonder why they had to say it and other remarks like why I don't wear more stylish clothes or watch reality TV?

Basically, I am the youngest in my class by at least 2-3 years, have good grades, want to be an ICU nurse and am somewhat picked on by most of the other students. However, it is two years and I am developing better social skills hopefully. This is just my first step in higher education, not the rest of my life, so it is bearable. I may be the most determined, youngest, privatest person there, but the experience is making me grow. Personally, as a Christian, it is an opportunity to better understand others and show compassion and kindness by God's grace.

Can't believe I have a twin out there. Keep up the good work and it is really cool that you want to go overseas!

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Thank you so much for posting this!!! I realize I may have come off prideful, but that was not my intent (I am naturally an observer and introvert, I really don't respond to any harmful comments). I am also a Christian and find your words inspiring. Thank you just being you tonight, that was so encouraging!

To everyone else who posted: I understand I deal with some social barriers, but overall I help my classmates as much as possible and interact with them well according to my professors. Honestly, the hard part is just holding it all in sometimes after the whole week when no one really understands or "gets me". I grin and bear it. I really don't appreciate being cussed out by my classmates just for being different, adhering to the rules set by the instructors, or for my conscience.

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To OP: the homeschooling component may make it difficult as well. I missed that the first time I read your post.

I am also a Christian, but I grew up attending public school like most others. I don't enjoy the "secular" conversations as much, especially ones that go against my values, but I do like that people confide these intimate details about their life. It makes me wiser and more understanding of their struggles. Conversing about personal lives shouldn't be something you shy away from, in my opinion. It's called friendship. Good luck, OP.

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19's not that young. Your age is probably not a deterrent to people. At the same age, I had friends younger than me and significantly older than me. Most people make friends of varying ages once they get past high school age. What people may be picking up on is your attitude.

No one is saying its bad for you to feel out of place when discussing things you're not comfortable with. But maybe this is a time for you to spark conversation about the things you like. I can't imagine most people would change the subject to talk about "sex, getting drunk..." If you're saying contributing to the conversation. Take time to learn from your peers with different life experiences than you. They bring something invaluable to your classroom and learning experience.

People will always have opinions about what you should do in your life. If you're able to, enjoy going oversees and traveling. You serve the community you choose to. You're not indebted to stay where you are for life. But certainly, I would encourage you to learn to adapt to people who are different than you. Saying you won't tolerate certain behavior gives off the impression that you feel you're better than others. This is especially important when you'll be a guest in another country and assimilating to another culture.

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I'm 18...I will be an RN at 19. I do talk to my class mates, honestly. I never give the impression that I dislike them in any way. By "I will not tolerate" I mean that I will not discuss those topics. They are not necessary to discuss and are usually very inappropriate, let alone people who have heard some of my classmates talk view our class as undignified as a whole. Overall this post was not to be a rant, but rather a way to see if other people are trying desperately to be different and succeeding.

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