Hi all, I understand that it is all gibberish, but I just really need to talk about it and simply vent. I am so angry and sad right now! First of all the good news: I got accepted to two programs yesterday. One is 4 years nursing BScN program in a not so good school, another one is kinesiology in the same school. Kinesiology program will take me two years out of 4 because because I have half the credits already, and will allow me if I work hard and get good grades to be accepted to a two year nursing program in a good school with much better practicum opportunities, so this is what I chose since it is going to be 4 years for me in any case. Hooray, now I'm really on a way to my nursing dream.
Now the bad stuff. I called my parents that knew that I am applying and told them. Holly molly! I got all the range of laughter and saying how stupid I am and that I finally got a university degree, then why the hell I'm throwing it all out for a blue collar job. How I barely managed to get my computer science degree (which I was getting as a double major with psychology that I liked, a degree which I hated, with which I was working full time and studying full time), that I am too old to change anything (I'm 28 and the "too old" thing started when I was 22 and wanted to switch to another major because I didn't like the CS, but with all their screams I simply didn't dare). I calmly described to them that nursing is not a blue collar, and what nurses do. I told them that this is my choice that they can either accept or stay out and that if they continue to bully me this way I will not be ready to keep in touch. I'm just so frustrated. They've always got their way with me by blaming and yelling and telling how I am the worst person possible. Sometimes I look around and I even don't understand how did I allow all that? Why was I always sitting quiet and obeying to all the stupid things they commanded. I got a degree that I hated, because they won't let me to switch saying I am too stupid anyway, and I got pretty good at it, I got to a software architect level in 3.5 years. And with all that I'm still terrified of my parents, seek approval, and instead I just find hurt, and blame and insults. I should be happy about getting accepted to university and finally breaking free of the career I didn't want, but instead I am really sad. I just need a few kind words of reassurance, I guess. :crying2:
I got all the range of laughter and saying how stupid I am and that I finally got a university degree, then why the hell I'm throwing it all out for a blue collar job.
Wow, my mouth is literally gaping in astonishment! *hugs* I'm sorry your family feels this way. They obviously don't understand the profession of nursing. I also started nursing school as an "older" student... graduated with my BSN when I was 25.
Even though your family isn't supportive, you're always welcome here. Don't let them get you down!
I can very much relate to your situation, my mother basically told me the same thing. I graduated LVN school when I was 29, when I decided to go further and get my RN at age 35 I was told by mom to stop wasting my time in school, that I should be satisfied , she stated what next a doctor? I simply stated maybe I will be a Doctor someday. I know how much it hurts when your parents are critical, but dont give them the power to hurt you.I am 44 now and still have to bite my tongue around my mom. Dont ever stop doing whats best for you,dont ever stop learning.
I guess I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum - it's my mother that's pushing me to go into nursing. My family's really, really abusive (emotionally) and I'm doing it just to be able to make the money to get out of here. Whatever issues nursing has can't be worse than anything I've ever lived through before.
...so instead of pursuing my dream, I'm following her wishes so I can get out of her hair. It sucks, but I'm 19 and have no financial support for her whatever and no experience to find a job. Nursing will get me out of here. :redpinkhe So go for your dream - you're never too old to get a better education. I'll probably be 23 or 24 when I start my pre-requisites for graduate school, and hopefully 26 or 27 when I enter the four-year program. 28 is nuthin'!
Oh, and I get all the laughing too, about what I'd like to pursue. All the criticsm, all the laughter, etc. So I know exactly where you're coming from. (It's awesome when she tells me I'm smart enough to do anything [but not what I want, just nursing]).
I am so sorry for how you have been abused by your parents. They must have seen something very special in you and were frightened by the fact that you are smarter and stronger than they are.
Ignore the naysayers, and pursue your dreams. Spend the absolute minimun time you can with toxic people, and and do not bother to argue with them.
Even preparing to broach the subject with your parents must have been stressful. It was a strong thing for you to do. Some people would not be so direct.
From the outside looking in, it seems like your parents do not see you as an adult. Sounds like my family. Some of them will always see me as that smart a-- teenager that thinks she knows everything but really needs babied. Hopefully your folks will soon realize that you are an intelligent, hard-working, autonomous adult that deserves their support.
I've been where you are and took the extreme way out - I ended every toxic relationship I had, which was almost all of them. That left only three solid relationships and eliminated a parent, but it was the right choice for me. I hope things don't have to go that way for you, but just know that whatever happens - you will be fine!
Hi all, I understand that it is all gibberish, but I just really need to talk about it and simply vent. I am so angry and sad right now! First of all the good news: I got accepted to two programs yesterday. One is 4 years nursing BScN program in a not so good school, another one is kinesiology in the same school. Kinesiology program will take me two years out of 4 because because I have half the credits already, and will allow me if I work hard and get good grades to be accepted to a two year nursing program in a good school with much better practicum opportunities, so this is what I chose since it is going to be 4 years for me in any case. Hooray, now I'm really on a way to my nursing dream.
Now the bad stuff. I called my parents that knew that I am applying and told them. Holly molly! I got all the range of laughter and saying how stupid I am and that I finally got a university degree, then why the hell I'm throwing it all out for a blue collar job. How I barely managed to get my computer science degree (which I was getting as a double major with psychology that I liked, a degree which I hated, with which I was working full time and studying full time), that I am too old to change anything (I'm 28 and the "too old" thing started when I was 22 and wanted to switch to another major because I didn't like the CS, but with all their screams I simply didn't dare). I calmly described to them that nursing is not a blue collar, and what nurses do. I told them that this is my choice that they can either accept or stay out and that if they continue to bully me this way I will not be ready to keep in touch. I'm just so frustrated. They've always got their way with me by blaming and yelling and telling how I am the worst person possible. Sometimes I look around and I even don't understand how did I allow all that? Why was I always sitting quiet and obeying to all the stupid things they commanded. I got a degree that I hated, because they won't let me to switch saying I am too stupid anyway, and I got pretty good at it, I got to a software architect level in 3.5 years. And with all that I'm still terrified of my parents, seek approval, and instead I just find hurt, and blame and insults. I should be happy about getting accepted to university and finally breaking free of the career I didn't want, but instead I am really sad. I just need a few kind words of reassurance, I guess. :crying2:
Are your parents supporting you and providing endless funding for your multiple majors? If not, then don't worry about.
I know your parents are trying to look out for you and your best interest but you should follow your dream. My mom wasnt keen on me changing my career path to nursing at first. I had open discussions with her about the profession and what nursing entails b/c believe it or not many people do not TRULY know what nurses do. My mom got sick once and was in the hospital and saw for herself first hand what they did. she grew such an appreciation for them and is now my biggest cheerleader:yeah: in my pursuit of a nursing degree. Nursing has come a long way and is slowly gaining more of the respect it deserves(with a long way to go). Maybe try asking your parents why they think its a blue collar job and that will open the floor for discussion. If they get upset just try to stay come b/c if you get upset too then they will stop listening. Two to seven years of education(ADN to DNP) is far from a blue collar job.
My mother was the naysayer in my life my dad and stepmother gave me tons of support! My mother just flat out told me I was too stupid to go to nursing school and then laughed when I enrolled and said I didn't have the guts for it. I graduated 3rd in my clcass. I didn't even invite her to graduation. I invited all the family members who supported me and were proud of me. Of course that was 40 yrs ago and I retired from nursing 5 yrs ago.
You are right, why am I even seeking their approval if I cannot get it! I don't depend on them financially, and didn't when I studied for most of my first degree. It is my life, and it is something I want to do. I feel so much better. Thank you all very much. :heartbeat
Nohika, good luck to you too! I hope you get your dream eventually! May I ask what profession is it?
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. The reason your Dad probably erroneously thinks that nursing is "blue collar" is because of the whole "Got No Job? Become an RN"! thing that is going on right now (see the recent article posted a few days ago). He probably sees all those cheesy ads on TV showing John Q. Public miraculously going from unemployment to RN in what is presented as being about two week's time.
You are old enough now to make your own decisions. Believe me, I am almost 40 and I let my family talk me out of becoming a nurse when I was about your age ("You'll get sick to your stomach! You'll have to give shots! You hate blood! You'll have to work crazy hours!" etc. and the best one, "WHY would you want to become a NURSE"??)
Now I am kicking myself. Time goes by very fast -- you'll blink and ten years will be gone -- and this is the time for you to pursue your dreams. If you let people talk you out of it now, you'll be surprised at how hard it is to go back to school when you are older. You'll feel like you wasted your youth.
:crying2:
leslie :-D
11,191 Posts
i agree w/everyone else, about cutting them out of your life.
however, IF your parents are paying any part of your tuition, you may have to tolerate whatever comes your way...
UNLESS you're willing to reject any financial help from them.
regardless of blood ties, you need to surround yourself with only those folks who are supportive of you.
the rest, just blow away.
you're in control, and you can do this.:balloons:
do not allow anyone to tell you differently.
leslie