How can someone even be like that?!

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Hi all, I understand that it is all gibberish, but I just really need to talk about it and simply vent. I am so angry and sad right now! First of all the good news: I got accepted to two programs yesterday. One is 4 years nursing BScN program in a not so good school, another one is kinesiology in the same school. Kinesiology program will take me two years out of 4 because because I have half the credits already, and will allow me if I work hard and get good grades to be accepted to a two year nursing program in a good school with much better practicum opportunities, so this is what I chose since it is going to be 4 years for me in any case. Hooray, now I'm really on a way to my nursing dream.

Now the bad stuff. I called my parents that knew that I am applying and told them. Holly molly! I got all the range of laughter and saying how stupid I am and that I finally got a university degree, then why the hell I'm throwing it all out for a blue collar job. How I barely managed to get my computer science degree (which I was getting as a double major with psychology that I liked, a degree which I hated, with which I was working full time and studying full time), that I am too old to change anything (I'm 28 and the "too old" thing started when I was 22 and wanted to switch to another major because I didn't like the CS, but with all their screams I simply didn't dare). I calmly described to them that nursing is not a blue collar, and what nurses do. I told them that this is my choice that they can either accept or stay out and that if they continue to bully me this way I will not be ready to keep in touch. I'm just so frustrated. They've always got their way with me by blaming and yelling and telling how I am the worst person possible. Sometimes I look around and I even don't understand how did I allow all that? Why was I always sitting quiet and obeying to all the stupid things they commanded. I got a degree that I hated, because they won't let me to switch saying I am too stupid anyway, and I got pretty good at it, I got to a software architect level in 3.5 years. And with all that I'm still terrified of my parents, seek approval, and instead I just find hurt, and blame and insults. I should be happy about getting accepted to university and finally breaking free of the career I didn't want, but instead I am really sad. I just need a few kind words of reassurance, I guess. :crying2::crying2::crying2:

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Anastasia,

I have a similar story. I have a degree in Theater (had planned to teach but was unable to find a job). I used my degree to be a retail manager. At 33 years old, I decided I wanted to back to school for nursing. I was very excited (as was my very supportive husband). I decided to share my plans with my parents- who I believe never thought I would return to work after having my son.

My father flat out told me that I would never make it! and that I did not have the stomach to be a nurse and that I was too emotional to be a nurse.

I am happy to stay than almost four years later (and much to Dad's surprise I think) I graduated nursing school last November! I am proud to say that I was chosen by my class to speak at our pinning ceremony too! I have since passed the NCLEX and am hoping to have a job very soon.

What I am trying to say is that sometimes our families want the "safe" route for us. They don't want to see us fail so they tell us to not even trying something out of fear that we will be disappointed.

If nursing is your dream- go for it! And surprise your family! Eventually they will see how happy you are and they will be proud of you.

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Your parents sound like bullies, stop giving them power. You are obviously a capable person, when they start in with their crazy opinions on what you're doing, politely tell them that you aren't interested in being lectured and then hang up the phone. As long as they think they can continue treating you like a misbehaving 5 year old, they will. You don't have to tolerate their behavior.

Then again, my father is a crazy control freak and I cut him out of my life when I was 18, so my advice may have a slight bias.

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Specializes in Dialysis, Nephrology & Cosmetic Surgery.

I'm sorry your parents are not being supportive of you, you are not stupid but for parents to suggest you are is pretty crushing.

My advice is to proove them wrong and don't let their comments overwhelm you, the fact that you got a degree in something you didn't even like is commendable as I struggle getting through my course which I really like.

I heard an expression years ago - "don't regret the things you did, regret the things you didn't do". I have kept this is my mind and it has driven me to follow my dreams. You do the same, you can't change the past but you can certainly be the master of your future. If you don't do this you will always wonder what could have been, so go for it. Hope you can detatch yourself from your parents negativity and not let them sway your decisions.

Jane

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Specializes in ER, L&D, ICU, LTC, HH.

My parents were not support of me either. You have decide it is what you want and go for it. I did and I never regretted a moment of it. I hope you are going to a good school like I did and have wonderful memories.

Love

Willow

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Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.

Another unsupportive family here. My mom never even bought me a pencil to help me in college. I was ablel to get my LPN first and then my RN. I worked 2 jobs during the LPN schooling and one full time for the RN. Not once did I get ANY encouragement. The only one that told me how proud she was, was my aunt. She was wealthy and she rounded out the tuition monies that I was always short of with odd jobs around her house. It was the only time I got paid 300 bucks for weeding.:lol2:

Anyway, distance yourself from your parents. Like another poster said, it's a toxic relationship. I had to get away from my mother. It was the only way to keep my sanity!

Good luck and you can tell your parents that Nursing is NOT a blue collar job. Maybe send them some literature on how much nurses make.:cool:

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Specializes in ICU/CCU.

Hang in there. My father was equally unsupportive of me when I told him I was going back to school for nursing. He also felt that nursing was beneath me. By his reasoning, if I had wanted to do something in medicine, I should have gone to MED school right out of college. He also thinks that nursing is blue collar and can't understand why I'd want to be a "servant to doctors." In the past he has said that people become nurses because they aren't smart enough to get into medical school. My siblings and cousins are all lawyers and doctors and stockbrokers. What an embarassment I must be to him!

Ignore your parents and anyone else who discourages you. They have issues (pride? vanity? low self esteem?) that have nothing to do with you. It hurts not to be supported by the people you care about, but in the end it makes your victories all the sweeter.

Last Summer I was studying for the CCRN while visiting my father. He read a few of the sample test questions and was dumbfounded. "You have to know that kind of stuff to be a nurse?" I'm not sure, but I think that he gained a smidgeon more respect for nursing after that. But even if he hasn't--a big WHATEVER because I'm happy with my choice.

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Lucky you are old enough to move these people to the perifery of your life. Don't ask them for their approval or include them in your plans. Just be an adult from now on live your life. Be your own cheering section. I am not saying cut them out of your life just don't seek approval. That opens the door to their critical statements.

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Hang in there. My father was equally unsupportive of me when I told him I was going back to school for nursing. He also felt that nursing was beneath me. By his reasoning, if I had wanted to do something in medicine, I should have gone to MED school right out of college. He also thinks that nursing is blue collar and can't understand why I'd want to be a "servant to doctors." In the past he has said that people become nurses because they aren't smart enough to get into medical school. My siblings and cousins are all lawyers and doctors and stockbrokers. What an embarassment I must be to him!

Ignore your parents and anyone else who discourages you. They have issues (pride? vanity? low self esteem?) that have nothing to do with you. It hurts not to be supported by the people you care about, but in the end it makes your victories all the sweeter.

Last Summer I was studying for the CCRN while visiting my father. He read a few of the sample test questions and was dumbfounded. "You have to know that kind of stuff to be a nurse?" I'm not sure, but I think that he gained a smidgeon more respect for nursing after that. But even if he hasn't--a big WHATEVER because I'm happy with my choice.

You know your dad's early attitude was pretty typical. I get the "nurses are over paid waitress/maids" thing from people all the time. People have no idea of the daily life and death issues we deal with. He can really be excused but he is learning.

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My mother was a LPN and hated it. She had no choice in her days. She did a good job, but got out as soon as she could. Therefore when I wanted to be a nurse, she was against it. Fast forward to 42 and I finally went back to nursing school. My mother admitted that I was made for nursing and she should have never told me not to try it. I know she wanted the best for me, but what is best for one person is not best for another.

Maybe once you get to your goal and they see how happy you are they will change. Go for your dream - you are the one that has to live it.

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I also come from unsupportive parents, who my entire life belittled me and told me I was worthless on a daily basis, even in my grown years. Well for 41 years I believed them and almost had a nervous breakdown from it all. My primary physician told me words that changed my life....."you will never get their approval, so move on with your life and cut out the toxic people".

Long story short.....I did cut them out of my life....and I am doing fabulous. With my supportive husband and kids encouragement, I realized I could be anything I wanted to be and decided that I was in fact smart enough to go back to school and be a nurse. I got started right away....and guess what?....this stupid, worthless person who would never amount to anything in their eyes has earned a 4.0 with all my pre requisites into nursing and have been accepted into a very tough nursing school to get into, on my first try.

I am so happy with my life and have proved them wrong. I am now 43...and beginning the rest of my life free of people whose only objective is to hurt me. My life has changed and I realize I am capable of anything I choose to put my mind to. And guess what? So are you. Listen to yourself...not anyone else...go get what your want and don't let anyone stop you. Go for your dreams...it seems to me you have accomplished so much in your life already....you really don't need anyones approval, you have earned your own approval.

Also, Nursing is not a blue collar job. Even if it was....there is nothing shameful in a blue collar job. We need all types of people to do all types of work. If you do your job well (white collar or blue collar), then you can be proud.

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I just need a few kind words of reassurance, I guess.

No, you need to stop talking to your parents about life decisions. They are not mature enough to handle it.

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