Help! Patients and coworkers tell me I look frazzled - but I don't feel that way

[marisatheresa]

Help! I'm a BSN -RN. I'm 8 months into my first job. I work day shift on a very busy med-surg unit. From the first day I started, I've received consistent feedback that I "look stressed." Coworkers frequently ask me "are you doing ok?" - even on days when things are going great. Last week, a patient even complained to my director that his nurse looked "frazzled."Although, he had only favorable comments about my clinical skills, knowledge, and interpersonal skills, and, Ironically, he was my easiest patient that day! Coworkers frequently tell me to "calm down," but they so far, they haven't been able to pinpoint what it is about me that makes me look uncalm." Sometimes, I feel that if I get any calmer, I would be comotase, but apparently that's not the affect I'm projecting to others. Can anyone offer any insight on this?

[stefanyjoy]

I've had this problem too... It used to get on my nerves a lot until I realized my "thinking face" and "irritated face" look very similiar. I have no idea why, but I just try to smile more. :)

[Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN]

Are you running from one task to another? Do you come barrelling into rooms and talk really fast because you have so much to do?

Do you jump from one task to another really quickly?

All these things can give the impression of being frazzled.

I remember a new grad we had once. I was with my pt in the bed next to hers. She couldn't see me because the curtains were drawn. She was talking so quickly that I had problems following her. No wonder her pt was confused! I grapped her in the hall a few minutes later and told her she had to slow down . Her reply was that she had everything under control and was fine. She didn't last long on our unit because she literally burnt herself out from rushing so much.

My advice? Don't run. Take a deep breath before going into each pt's room. Slow your thoughts down. Remember - running gives the impression of fear and panic. Never run! Walk fast, but don't run.

[Flo., BSN, RN]

Sometimes it is your apperance and mannerism. Is you hair neat or out of control? If you wear makeup is it still in a presentable condition? Or have you smeared your mascara?

Do you walk, talk, and move fast?

What about your facial expressions? Do you look pleasant or are your pouty?

[Forever Sunshine, ASN, RN]

Sometimes it is your apperance and mannerism. Is you hair neat or out of control? If you wear makeup is it still in a presentable condition? Or have you smeared your mascara?

Do you walk, talk, and move fast?

What about your facial expressions? Do you look pleasant or are your pouty?

I used to wear my hair up. Now after running around like we do for even a couple hours, it falls out of place and doesn't look as nice as it did.

I wear my hair down now and I don't get told "is it busy you look like you've been busy and stressed"

[wintersantanaRN]

If you feel calm inside find a way to express that outwardly because when the patients say something about you being " frazzled" it is something you might want to consider trying to change.

good luck

[JenniferSews]

I once had a really uncomfortable conversation with a superior regarding my appearance. After three losses I was pregnant, but felt sick all the time. Every day my coworkers would pass my office and make comments about how how sick/tired/overwhelmed I looked. Then a superior cornered me and asked me if I ever wore makeup anymore, and didn't I feel like it was part of my job to look professional and wear makeup? Her lecture about my appearance went on and on to the point that another employee down the hall spoke to a superior about it when I didn't bring it up.

After that, I've learned to say "I"m not stressed/tired/what have you, that's just the way my face is" said with a big smile. I say it confidently, and I never let those comments get to me anymore.

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

I used to be told when I was a lot younger, that I looked worried all the time, but it was probably becuase I was thinking a lot as I was working.

I try to always enter a room with a smile, check my hair when I go to the loo (don't have time to put lipstick on again), but my lips are very dark in colour anyway, and always say 'no worries' to questions from patients cos then THEY don't worry so much.

I think the patient who complained re you looking frazzled was just being nit-picky, and I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Maybe yes, just smile a little more and try to slow down (but this is hard to do). I know people who do everything fast, walk, eat, talk fast so maybe that is just your nature.

[SnowboardLovinRN]

While this is not probably a huge issue with your coworkers, I could see where it would be with patients. I agree with other posters... before you walk in a room stop and take a deep breath. Walk in slowly and try to stand next to the patient instead of far from the bed. When talking to family members approach that the same way. Patients want to feel that you have time for them, and are never happy when the feel that you are too busy.

There are some people that just appear to always be flustered. Its just your nature! My biggest advise is to just slow down. But good luck!

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

Help! I'm a BSN -RN. I'm 8 months into my first job. I work day shift on a very busy med-surg unit. From the first day I started, I've received consistent feedback that I "look stressed." Coworkers frequently ask me "are you doing ok?" - even on days when things are going great. Last week, a patient even complained to my director that his nurse looked "frazzled."

Trying to remember back to when I was a new nurse .... the first year was full of a huge amount of stress.

Normal.

Perhaps try to slow your speech and remember to smile more ( particularly when first walk into the p'ts room) and maybe ensure your voice pitch doesn't elevate beyond your regular. Make sure your movements are smooth and measured ... not jerky.

Also watch for slight hyperventilation .... practice slowing your breathing if you tend to do this.

Is it ok for the p't to tell your director that you look 'frazzled' ???? I don't know about that

[P_RN, ADN, RN]

I found one trick, when you are about to leave the room ask them " What can I get you (or what do you need) RIGHT NOW?" It's usually a clue as to those small things that make the pt comfortable, close the shades, maybe some ice, a wash cloth and then DO it before you go on to your next patient. The TELL them when you will be back-even if it's an hour away you make sure you go back. It builds confidence in your patient.

[diane227, LPN, RN]

I have this same problem. When I put my "thinking" face on I look very serious and often look angry when I am not even close to being angry. I have to make myself remember to smile. But it also might actually be good to review some information on body language. It helped me a lot. I also went out and got a good haircut, a little color, had my brows professionally done and cleaned up my wardrobe a bit. It really helped.