Help! I'm a BSN -RN. I'm 8 months into my first job. I work day shift on a very busy med-surg unit. From the first day I started, I've received consistent feedback that I "look stressed." Coworkers frequently ask me "are you doing ok?" - even on days when things are going great. Last week, a patient even complained to my director that his nurse looked "frazzled."Although, he had only favorable comments about my clinical skills, knowledge, and interpersonal skills, and, Ironically, he was my easiest patient that day! Coworkers frequently tell me to "calm down," but they so far, they haven't been able to pinpoint what it is about me that makes me look uncalm." Sometimes, I feel that if I get any calmer, I would be comotase, but apparently that's not the affect I'm projecting to others. Can anyone offer any insight on this?
While our society can hyper focus on how one looks, we must remember that before we open our mouths, we r being critiqued and judged on our appearance. For example, if I see a person with horribly scuffed and dirty shoes, this reflects says a lot to me about that person. If you come over to my house covered in cat hair it says something. If you a growing a full mustache and you are a woman, I am sorry it says something. If you are rapidly jumping from topic to topic with nary a breath in between, it says something. If your nails r dirty and full of hang nails, it says something. If you r wearing flip flops and your heels are so crusty and your nails r yellow it says something. If you come in with neat hair, clean nails, clean clothes and shoes, a calm clear manner in speaking well that clearly says something as well. If your medical supplies r organized on your person it says something. I am ready to listen and I feel confident in your care. Self examination is important but it doesn't mean I care what others think of my personal appearance. If I am in a position of authority, such as a nurse or educator, I know that taking note of these things gives others a feeling of confidence in what I am about to say or do. My actions and words then support this. Does this make sense? It is the same about my home, b4 you come over, I have made sure every toilet and bathroom is eat off the floor worthy. I notice the details. Ok, I have gone on and on enough. You get the point! :) self examine and make changes where needed! You do not want that to be others perception of you! By you saying you r fine means you haven't self examined! One person saying something can be overlooked, many people saying it means you should take note and make change. Keep in mind for every person that says something there are many, many more that haven't. Good luck!
It could be that the use of "r" and "b4" as substitutes for actual words in the English language could say something as well.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Hey, there are also people like me who have NEVER learned the art of accessorizing and look like we just threw on whatever we're wearing, ran a comb through our hair once and zipped out the door!
Seriously---I think most of us do our best NOT to look frazzled, but we have facial features or expressions that make us appear so even when we aren't. It also doesn't help when we've got naturally frizzy hair and absolutely no aptitude for being a 'fashionista'. I've never felt "well-put-together" in my entire life, no matter how well my shoes and purse matched or how nicely my jacket fit.
Still, if we can slow down our pace to a fast saunter, and gather our thoughts for just a moment before entering a patient's room, we can project an air of confidence and competence even if our hair is slipping out of its restraining barrettes. Like another poster said, be sure to give the patient your full attention while you're in the room---don't stand in the doorway talking to him/her and looking like you're going to run away the first chance you get. Speak kindly and directly. Touch the patient on the shoulder or arm to reassure him that you are there for him/her and will do your best to meet any needs that arise. Smile..........stay calm.........and smile some more. :)
Frazzled , scmazzled! Tell any one that critiques your appearance that you are simply focusing all your efforts on providiing :coollook:excellent care!!!
Altra, I am sorry if my post offended you. I replied to the op with my opinion. I always find it funny when people post about shorthand or when someone forgets a a period or capital. Obviously this isn't an english paper but a quick reply to give an answer. First impressions of physical appearance do matter and that was and is my point. If more than one person has pointed out to op that she looks frazzled (key word is look) and it is bothering her enough to post about it, I assume she is able to handle a reply to that question about self examination. I see you offer no constructive opinion other than to call me to the carpet on my use of shorthand. Very helpful indeed.
I get that alot too from my boss. I dont let it phase me. I am not a jolly person, and being a transplant from the eastcoast to the south - totally not my element. I am always happy and pleasant to my patients but away from them - I am me.
Altra, BSN, RN
6,255 Posts
It could be that the use of "r" and "b4" as substitutes for actual words in the English language could say something as well.