One of the CNAs got a call at work and was informed that her niece had died. The death was very unexpected, and she basically started crying (sniffling mostly with no loud and dramatic shows of emotion). The DON was informed of the situation and she told the CNA to get her act together and clean herself up because she was upsetting the residents.
She was given a couple of minutes to go to the bathroom to fix her face, but could not take a 15 coz she had already been on her allowed 15.
My question is this,,,,,,what is everyone's opinion? Was the DON right to tell her to get it together and reserve her emotions for when she got off work,
Should she have been allowed to take a 15 heck,,,even a 30 if needed to allow time to absorb the info and get back her composure?
I cry when my residents pass because it's the emotion that occurs to me at that time,,,are we not allowed to get emotional any more??
Anyways...this just kinda upset me on Friday and wanted to hear what others thought.
I would lay bets that this DON is Mentally ILL.....
Perhaps Borderline Personality or something.....
Now isn't that the truth. Just how do these individuals ever get these positions to begin with?
Without a doubt I would have let the aide have a break, whatever time needed, to get herself together. If she felt she wanted to go home then that would have been fine too.
To the OP. I and co-workers were working when we found out one of our beloved co-workers had died in a car accident-it was plain awful to continue on with that shift.
A 15 minute 'breather' for this CNA would have been wonderful. What would have been more wonderful would have been the calling in of another staff member, if possible. Hard to think about (or do) work after getting that kind of news.
I'll tell you a story of one of the students, a guy, I studied with at the same time at university.
In 3rd year we had to do a 6 week unpaid clinical (like an unpaid apprenticeship). Well, just b4 the clinical started, this guy's dad got sick very quickly, and was near death. Well he asked to re-schedule his clinical - he was still prepared to do it, and lose money on accommodation and tickets he'd booked for where he was going, etc. My heartless university and Dean and all the lecturers - who were nurses BTW - told him UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can your last clinical be postponed, re-scheduled, re-done in any shape or form. He went to the Dean, the student union, cried, pleaded, etc - did everything he could think of all to no avail. He was told he would fail that whole semester, if he didn't go to his clinical. So, of course, he had to drop out, go a fail grade (as it was too late to drop out without any penalties), and he spent time with his dad until he died. Then he emailed me later, and told me he went round to every one of those people at the university, and told them how his dad had died a peaceful, hopefully pain free death. Then he smiled at each of them and said - and I will never forget this in the email - "I hope every one of you heartless and soulless people at this university dies a pain free death as well, because even if you do, you will be going straight to hell for what you have put me through." Then he just smiled, didn't say anything else, and walked out amid protests. Believe it or not, they even tried to get the police onto him on harassment/defamation of character charges!! The police dropped his case BTW when they found out what had caused all this.
He never went back there, got his Ba Nsg thru another, very kind and understanding uni (had to pay fees etc all again and nearly went bankrupt), but he did get his degree and said he was going to make it his mission to let everyone know who was going to enrol at this uni, how bad they were. I really admired him and was glad he told some of those snotty, uppity lecturers what he really thought of them - most of them deserved it.
I would not work for an employer like that - I don't care what bills had to be paid. And I would have walked out saying, I will take as much time as I like to get over this, in fact: I won't be coming back.
She will get her comeuppance one day when she takes her last breaths, I believe what goes around, comes around.
The DON seems very out of line. It's not easy to work at your normal level with such a mental burden weighing on you. If the DON knew such news could affect her performance they should have let the poor CNA take her leave, or at minimum given her the choice! That's honestly just sad. I hope I never have to work under somebody so cold.
This is something that distresses me about nursing. If those in authority (e.g., DONs, charge staff, instructors) cannot show compassion to their people, how can they realistically expect their nurses and nursing assistants to show compassion to the people they serve?
I knew a DON who hung up on a CNA who had rolled her car in the ditch on an icy road on her way home from work. She was upset and her car needed repair, and she was calling to say she could not make it in for her shift.
Sad to say, this happens all to often. I worked at a facility whose policy it was to find your own replacement if you were ill or needed to miss your shift. My son went missing and the police and I were looking for him. I called everyone I could but no one could come in to cover my shift. I called the DON to ask for help to cover my shift and she told me that it wouldn't do me any good to stay home to help look for my son because all I would be doing is worrying and that being at work would take my mind off of it. HA! Wrong! I ended up having to go to work or be fired.
Completely heartless. I can't believe people like that are around. Just about 3 wks ago, my husband sent me a text that he was headed to the ER with our son. Our 4 yr old had fallen off the bed and had a gash on his head. I was a little upset, just because I feel guilty being away a night. My DON immediately sent me home. I had my 2100 meds pulled, but she had to cover my med pass, and my night audit. It wasn't even a big deal - little guy just got 3 stitches. I can't imagine someone being so cruel if it was a death!!
Completely heartless. I can't believe people like that are around. Just about 3 wks ago, my husband sent me a text that he was headed to the ER with our son. Our 4 yr old had fallen off the bed and had a gash on his head. I was a little upset, just because I feel guilty being away a night. My DON immediately sent me home. I had my 2100 meds pulled, but she had to cover my med pass, and my night audit. It wasn't even a big deal - little guy just got 3 stitches. I can't imagine someone being so cruel if it was a death!!
Completely heartless. I can't believe people like that are around. Just about 3 wks ago, my husband sent me a text that he was headed to the ER with our son. Our 4 yr old had fallen off the bed and had a gash on his head. I was a little upset, just because I feel guilty being away a night. My DON immediately sent me home. I had my 2100 meds pulled, but she had to cover my med pass, and my night audit. It wasn't even a big deal - little guy just got 3 stitches. I can't imagine someone being so cruel if it was a death!!
How lovely of your boss to do that! I hope your little boy is OK now.
How lovely of your boss to do that! I hope your little boy is OK now.
He's fine - incredibly proud of his battle scars I was a panicked mama though - first child injury :heartbeat
And yes, my DON is amazing. A beautiful nurse to work for. I'm sad to say that next Saturday is my last night with her. I only hope that my new DON is as caring and compassionate as her - though I think so judging by her interview.
Thanks for asking about my LO though!!
I still can't believer some one could be a nurse AND so mean.
I was a panicked mama though - first child injury :heartbeat
Nascar nurse, ASN, RN
2,218 Posts
Now isn't that the truth. Just how do these individuals ever get these positions to begin with?
Without a doubt I would have let the aide have a break, whatever time needed, to get herself together. If she felt she wanted to go home then that would have been fine too.
Mean people stink!