heartless DON or reality check?

MomRN0913 · Jan 30, 2011

My opinion. She or he sounds pretty heartless and cruel. Certainly not someone I would ever want to work for.

TonyaM73, ASN, RN · Jan 30, 2011

WOW! Just WOW! I think that was hard hearted and if I was her boss, I would make every effort to find converage for her shift for her to be able to grieve with her family. It is the career of caring after all!

RescueNinja · Jan 30, 2011

I think that DON was insensitive and out of line. I hope he/she never has to experience what the CNA did.

Any time I've been in a situation like that we help our coworkers by picking up the slack while they take as much time as they need to compose themselves. Where was the teamwork?

WildcatFanRN, BSN, RN · Jan 30, 2011

Wow, very heartless.

When my brother was sick years ago, I was allowed to call home from work. My charge was sitting next to me and noticed when the tone of my voice changed when I was told he was dying. He actually died that night. My charge asked what was wrong and gave me as long as I needed to absorb the news. Even my CNA asked me if I wanted to talk. I was just a travel nurse. I can't believe that DON was that cold, but I guess I shouldn't be.

retiredlady · Jan 30, 2011

A long time a go one of our aides died. She had been there working for years and years and was so good. The supervisor was told that she had died that day and so she SAID "Oh, she's not coming in, who can we call?" She also had worked with her for years. We couldn't believe she didn't say anything else and not even a tear. Some people are cruel. No, your DON was very wrong. She would have started crying and immediately went home if it was her.

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Jan 30, 2011

The DON was absolutely out of line. This poor girl should have been sent home, and the DON should have done the work HERSELF if there was no coverage for her. That is simply being a kind human being.

hiddencatRN, BSN, RN · Jan 30, 2011

One of the CNAs got a call at work and was informed that her niece had died. The death was very unexpected, and she basically started crying (sniffling mostly with no loud and dramatic shows of emotion). The DON was informed of the situation and she told the CNA to get her act together and clean herself up because she was upsetting the residents.
She was given a couple of minutes to go to the bathroom to fix her face, but could not take a 15 coz she had already been on her allowed 15.
My question is this,,,,,,what is everyone's opinion? Was the DON right to tell her to get it together and reserve her emotions for when she got off work,
Should she have been allowed to take a 15 heck,,,even a 30 if needed to allow time to absorb the info and get back her composure?
I cry when my residents pass because it's the emotion that occurs to me at that time,,,are we not allowed to get emotional any more??
Anyways...this just kinda upset me on Friday and wanted to hear what others thought.

Heartless. How did the other employees react to how the DON handled the situation?

sweetjellies1 · Jan 30, 2011

first of all somebody should find out if this boss is HUMAN at all.. :no: I have my doubts.

belgarion · Jan 30, 2011

Some years ago when my wife worked in LTC their best aide called in one day and said the doctors had told her to gather the family because her mother wouldn't last the day. The administrator threw a fit. He remined her that the state was due that day for inspection and he needed his best people there. The aide reminded him that her mother was about to die and he told her "well she going to die whether you are there or not, won't she? It won't make any difference if you are there or here where you belong." Maybe he and the DON are related.

RNfaster · Jan 30, 2011

I would have allowed her to go home.

Not_A_Hat_Person, RN · Jan 30, 2011

I assume the CNA planned to stay on shift? I've been in situations where people who were emotional wrecks decided to stay at work anyway, and it wasn't any good for them or the people who had to work with them. If I was in the DON's shoes, I would've given the CNA a choice to either take a 30 and pull herself together, or go home.

On 9/11, I was living in Boston, and working 2 jobs. My Dad works in Manhattan, and 1 sister was in law school in Manhattan. The supervisors at both jobs basically said "Go (or stay) home if you want, it won't be held against you, but if you come in (or stay) you'll be expected to work." My family was okay, so I stayed on, but I would've left immediately if they were missing or hurt.

Maybe the CNA needed to be told that leaving was an option. If the DON wasn't going to let the CNA go home, then they are truly heartless.