heartless DON or reality check?

Nurses General Nursing

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One of the CNAs got a call at work and was informed that her niece had died. The death was very unexpected, and she basically started crying (sniffling mostly with no loud and dramatic shows of emotion). The DON was informed of the situation and she told the CNA to get her act together and clean herself up because she was upsetting the residents.

She was given a couple of minutes to go to the bathroom to fix her face, but could not take a 15 coz she had already been on her allowed 15.

My question is this,,,,,,what is everyone's opinion? Was the DON right to tell her to get it together and reserve her emotions for when she got off work,

Should she have been allowed to take a 15 heck,,,even a 30 if needed to allow time to absorb the info and get back her composure?

I cry when my residents pass because it's the emotion that occurs to me at that time,,,are we not allowed to get emotional any more??

Anyways...this just kinda upset me on Friday and wanted to hear what others thought.

Yes, I agree, the DON was thoughtless. HOWEVER, I am not sure why someone felt this news could not have waited until the aide got home from work. Was there anything she could have done at that time? Sometimes I hate all this instant need for communication.

Long before cellphones and such, she would have gotten the news from her family after work.

Having said that, when I lived in Iowa, my brother tracked me down at work to tell me that my dad had a major MI and was not expected to live. He called 2 of the three hospitals in the city where I lived, and even forgot my married name! I worked at a Catholic hospital and the administration was wonderful. They even took me to the assistant director's office so I could call and make arrangements to fly home to Philly! That was after THEY told my charge nurse that I would be leaving, and I needed to give report on my patients. I stayed with my mom for a more than a month, and my job was still there when I got back. Wonderful people. BTW, dad had a CABG, lived 13 more years!

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Specializes in Private Practice- wellness center.

WOW...someone is indeed a heartless person. I've never been in a management position in nursing (still in school, so I haven't been in ANY position in nursing.) However, I used to be a manager for a major airline. One of my gate agents got the news her daddy was in the ER and it didn't look good. This was on a night with MAJOR storms causing delays and cancellations out the wazoo, and I was short staffed over 30 people already. I sent her on her way without a second thought. 1) It was the RIGHT thing to do and 2) she would NOT have been any good there anyway. I wonder why the DON didn't think about this CNA's mental capacity to be able to finish a shift. I would have sent her home to cover my butt at the very least...(But then again, CYA would be one of the LAST things on my mind in a situation like that.)

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One thing is for sure, not a very therapeutic response. Maybe the nurse needs to re-analyze why she became a nurse.

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Specializes in Step-Down.

I think that she should have been told to go home by the DON without even having to ask. That is really horrible.

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Yes, I agree, the DON was thoughtless. HOWEVER, I am not sure why someone felt this news could not have waited until the aide got home from work. Was there anything she could have done at that time? Sometimes I hate all this instant need for communication.

Long before cellphones and such, she would have gotten the news from her family after work.

Having said that, when I lived in Iowa, my brother tracked me down at work to tell me that my dad had a major MI and was not expected to live. He called 2 of the three hospitals in the city where I lived, and even forgot my married name! I worked at a Catholic hospital and the administration was wonderful. They even took me to the assistant director's office so I could call and make arrangements to fly home to Philly! That was after THEY told my charge nurse that I would be leaving, and I needed to give report on my patients. I stayed with my mom for a more than a month, and my job was still there when I got back. Wonderful people. BTW, dad had a CABG, lived 13 more years!

Inre:The bold......true, basically, this was unneeded info. And I am not being heartless or cold. I have thought of this very thing, my brother called me about my mom, but at the end of my shift. She wasn't dead, but needed medical care and he was looking for my in put. However, once the call has been made, the receiving person needs to leave.

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Yeah the DON was way out of line. No exaggeration, Ive had run-ins with drill sergeants that had more heart. To think this person is in nursing is frightening.

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Specializes in Medical/Surgical.

how can someone in the profession of having empathy and compassion be so selfish and callous? the don should have allowed the cna to go home and given her the time needed to grieve with family members.

shame on this person!!!!:mad:

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The only way I could possibly see this behavior as justified is if the aide was a habitual Klinger (of M.A.S.H. fame) story teller and had several relatives "pass away" or "be at death's doorway". There might then be reason to doubt the veracity of the claim. Otherwise, I find this behavior unacceptable in the short-term and stupid in the long-term. The RON risks aggrevating not only one staff member, but the whole staff.

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Specializes in floor to ICU.

Horrible DON. I wonder what would have happened had the situation been turned around and SHE got the phone call?

My grandmother died while I was working. The supervisor tracked me down (pre-cell phone days) took me to a private office, delivered the news and made arrangements (even offering to drive me home if I was too upset) for me to leave.

This woman needs a cardiac transplant. Her heart is obviously DEAD.

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General - I agree with those who feel the DON is heartless, and more than a bit foolish.

She risked alienating her entire staff.

I just want to slap the person who called the aide in the first place. Unless there was an absolute NEED to notify her, this could have waited. I am not being cruel, just practical. After all, most places will not even give you paid bereavement time for a niece. I am not agreeing to this practice, but if that niece wasn't living with you, you won't get paid time to go to the funeral.

The DON needs a reality check - maybe she should be expected to work the entire day when tragedy hits her family.

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He's fine - incredibly proud of his battle scars :D I was a panicked mama though - first child injury :heartbeat

And yes, my DON is amazing. A beautiful nurse to work for. I'm sad to say that next Saturday is my last night with her. I only hope that my new DON is as caring and compassionate as her - though I think so judging by her interview.

Thanks for asking about my LO though!!

I still can't believer some one could be a nurse AND so mean.

People need to type sentences in full. What in the world is "LO"?:mad:

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That's incredible behavior from the DON. Her word is not law- as a team you could have gone above her, except her superior was even worse. She might not have been hasty in sending her home, but she definitely should have allowed her more time to regain her composure.

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