Have you ever given a ride to and from work for your colleagues?

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Recently I've been giving rides home to a few co-workers mainly because they do not have cars themselves, and we work in the evening so the bus ain't running and the staffing clerk asked me to do a big favour for her just these few weeks to give them a ride home. To me being young and a guy and them being female and a bit older, just appears awkward but thats just me. I'm thinking to myself, shouldn't you have transportation arranged but then again its not my business. Now I find myself in a hard position. They are not paying for my gas or insurance, so its like they are free loading off of me, a free Uber that is.

Specializes in Oncology, ID, Hepatology, Occy Health.

I'm not sure what the issue is here, provided your colleagues don't get stroppy when you say no. The gender/age issue is certainly not an issue. These people are you colleagues.

For three years I had a colleague who drove past my street on her way to and from work. We generally worked the same shifts. She offered me a regular ride and I accepted. That she was female and me old enough to be her father were NEVER issues. We were colleagues and she was being nice. We had good chats in the car. 

I only see this as an issue if you're going out of your way or if your colleagues create a fuss when you have to say no. If I had a last minute drama and was evidently going to be off late, I would phone my colleague's unit and say "Go ahead without me". If for whatever reason she had a change of plan and couldn't take me, I was always fine about it. I always said thank you for her kindness. If your colleagues aren't showing you this courtesy, stop offering and tell them why, but if they're being reasonable, what is the issue here? Are you going off your regular route for example?  

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On 2/5/2022 at 11:33 AM, JKL33 said:

It isn't just any random person who gets tangled up in these kinds of things.

That’s absolutely true, assuming it is all real. But as I’ve mentioned before, these tales of never-ending drama really strain credulity.

 

On 2/5/2022 at 6:25 AM, Convoy2022_TrumpSupporter said:

…the staffing clerk asked me to do a big favour for her just these few weeks to give them a ride home. To me being young and a guy and them being female and a bit older, just appears awkward but thats just me.

Oh my.. All these older women throwing themselves at you. First in elevators and now this… However.. fret not! Just have your brand spanking new AN username printed prominently on your work ID badge and I predict that your women magnet troubles will come to an abrupt end ? I can’t imagine that for example a Canadian nurse working the night shift caring for Covid patients and trying to get some sleep during daytime has a lot of love for those entitled, horn-honking extra special snow flakes.

 

 

https://ottawa.ctvnews.ca/hearing-into-lawsuit-to-stop-convoy-horns-in-ottawa-adjourned-to-Monday-1.5769527

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1 hour ago, macawake said:

That’s absolutely true, assuming it is all real. But as I’ve mentioned before, these tales of never-ending drama really strain credulity.

[...]

Indeed they do.

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Specializes in Critical Care.
On 2/5/2022 at 3:22 AM, NightNerd said:

"Sorry, wish I could help, but I'm not going that way tonight!" *shrug, make exit*

Also, I'm not sure what the age and gender dynamic has to do with anything. You're just a coworker helping a coworker; there is nothing in this scenario that screams "odd" to me.

However, I can understand if it's becoming habitual and you're not for it. You just have to say you're not able to help and repeat until it sinks in.

This^^^

Just let them know ahead of time, so they can make other arrangements. Keep it short and sweet...you don't own anyone a detailed explanation. 

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Specializes in Community health.
On 2/6/2022 at 4:23 PM, JBMmom said:

Wondering why there was a thread in the past where you said you would "absolutely not spend 10 minutes" to support/listen to a coworker that was experiencing a crisis, but you're choosing to spend your time and resources driving people to and from work. 
 

I think I’m glad I’m not one of his coworkers.

If I didn’t have a car and a coworker offered me a lift, I’d gladly take it! Until that coworker started hinting around about how, since he’s a young male and I’m a slightly older female, it just sure seems odd.  Then I’d be outta that car damn fast and keeping a record in case HR wanted to see it later!  

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Specializes in Med-Surg, NICU.
On 2/5/2022 at 5:33 AM, JKL33 said:

You recently had trouble getting your own self to work with your Civic, you don't like to get involved in others' personal problems, and you have been tapped as the public transport guy?

It sounds overall like you enjoy the drama of having something to do with others' personal problems. Why is that?

It isn't just any random person who gets tangled up in these kinds of things.

This person's screen name screams drama and attention seeking, if you catch my drift...

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Specializes in Varied.

Parking at my hospital cost almost $1000/year if you were lucky enough to get a spot in a garage.   Otherwise you had to park at a stadium and be bussed in.

Feeling sorry for a single mom I started giving her rides to her car.  But she didn't manage her time well and would be later and later leaving.  I already worked 12 hours and adding another 1-2 was unreasonable, so it didn't last.

She was also late Every. Single.Day.! 

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

For a few years, my medical nurse wife Belinda and I worked almost identical eight-hour MN shifts and rode to & from work together.

Those were Halcyon Days.

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Specializes in Customer service.

If I feel bad doing something for people, I don't do it. Yes, I have transported some coworkers. 

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Specializes in ICU.
On 2/5/2022 at 5:10 AM, JKL33 said:

Not to get too serious but...I think it's complicated. If I had to make a general guess (not specific to OP), I think we do weird things when life and/or genetics has saddled us with self-esteem issues. And since we don't know how to see ourselves in a positive light, as someone worthy of general/very basic respect, we easily feel pressure to step right into situations that can only bring additional uncertainty, havoc and self-loathing (unrecognized as the latter may be).

It's just too scary to say 'nah' to these problematic "opportunities" when one's self-esteem is entirely dependent upon others' constant need for us and constant approval.

Occasionally we get tired of it and try to right ourselves by being very harsh (e.g. telling a crying coworker that we don't want to hear anything about why they're crying and don't want to hear their personal problems). When we realize we were a jerk, we're back to square one and signing up to be carpool man.

What say you?

Wow @JKL33 you have incredible insight. I’ll agree, I’m generally a people-pleaser with low self-esteem who is still a bold and brash personality at heart, tossing in my unfortunate colloquialisms, shall we say, or other awkward statements or behaviors. Then I can’t handle the weight of my own choices in the moment when I detect a hint of displeasure from my audience. That then sends me into an anxiety-riddled few days where I question my ability to get on like a normal person. So it goes, I have been mixed up in odd scenarios at times and used to ask myself why these weird occurrences seemed to follow me around. Well bingo, thanks for the therapy session. JKL for president. 

In seriousness, I realized I just had to start filtering out these situations and ask myself what a normal person would do in each social interaction I find difficult. My husband is the most care-free person when it comes to dealing with others, so he’s really helped me a lot in that arena. He actually deserves a darn medal for dealing with my crazy booty and helping me level-up in the adult world. 

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