Has Nursing hardened you?

lbaldrige · Apr 25, 2012

I have never left a comment before, but I felt I had to weigh in on this one. When I was in nursing school I could tell which nurses I wanted to be and I vowed that I would never forget what it was like to be a nursing school. I think part of your feelings come from being a little frightened in this new undertaking. Having people's lives in your hands comes with a little trepidation. With that said if someone told you that nursing was all milk and cookies - you got took. Nursing is a hard profession and is not for those feignt of heart. There are still patients (after 22 years) that touch my heart everyday and that is what allows me to go on. We may seem a little hard, but that is to protect ourselves from the heartache and suffering we deal with on a daily basis.

Some of the healthcare politics can be disheartening and that is what I get burned out on. Shift work sucks, and throws your whole life out of whack. I haave had my share of health problems from that. Can nurses be mean? you bet. But name me a field where you do not have to encounter those people and let me know - I would like to see it. You can change that though, by being the kind of nurse you want taking care of your family.

Would I do it all over again, knowing what I know now? Again, a resounding yes. I recently started teaching BSN nursing students and I found out that my faith in the future of nursing is not ill placed. They are 21 of the best people out there and I hope that I have passed on my passion, caring, and respect for nursing.

One last thing, if you think nurses are all about getting hard, perhaps you need to look again. Interview some nurses and remind them why they got into nursing in the first place. It is definitely not for the easy paycheck.

Vespertinas · Apr 25, 2012

Careful with that milk and cookies comment. It's very condescending and negates your point.

sunspunk · Apr 25, 2012

I wouldn't necessarily say colder, maybe more apathetic. During my 33 yrs in nursing, it is very disheartening to find that as the years have gone by, a few things haven't changed. Staff to patient ratios making for a reasonable work environment and patient safety and (now the biggie... patient satisfaction), which, in my opinion, has stayed suboptimal. It is also unnerving how an institution can upgrade the "face" of their building five to six times, add amenities for visitors, and have nurses lounges filthy, old and at times in disrepair, if their even is a lounge. In addition, very few times, if at all in 33 yrs have I heard from administration, what a great job we are doing, and nursing has never been a part of any program change, unit rearrangement etc. All you get is policies and procedures rammed down your throat and you are expected to know and abide by all 57 million of them, even though 56.5 million of those policies entail adequate staffing, and ancillary personnel to execute properly. That might be part of what you are attributing to "cold".

tewdles, RN · Apr 25, 2012

Good nurses develop professional boundaries.

We learn how to be concise and to the point.

It is our intention to provide excellent care to our patients, be collaborative and helpful with our co-workers, and maintain a healthy personal life.

Not all old nurses are B*T**es, but some B*T**es are nurses, each of us gets to choose how we treat others.

amoLucia · Apr 25, 2012

There it goes again---my clicking LIKE finger button is cramping up again! To answer the original hardened question---I wouldn't say I've become hardened. I've just developed a very hard thickened epidermis. Had to in order to survive 37 years of sticks and stones and more. I still have a soft Achilles tendon spot.

KMULL002, BSN · Apr 25, 2012

Simple question: Has nursing hardened you?
In response to your question, no, it has not hardened me. My first patient death devastated me. I wondered if I could do this profession. The doctor in the ICU told me "get used to it." I thought this was a terrible response to such a sensitive situation and was offended. His advice was true. You do have to get used to devastation and death but I will never lose my sense of empathy or that feeling in my heart that says I care about you. I have had the opportunity to experience many different areas of nursing and to me, it's all the same. People are people and they deserve the best care and that includes honesty, integrity, skills, empathy, etc. I can go on and on. Thank you for your post because, I, like you when I was a nursing student and new nurse, was hoping that I do not become hardened. Yes, at times, I have been disheartened and burned out. When I get the burned out stressed out feeling, I take a deep breath and remind myself that it can always be worse, especially for the patients (put yourself in their shoes). I also focus more on having fun outside of work and not bring it home with me. This job is stressful; coworkers get stressed out just as the patients do. Just remember to stay focused and you will do fine. I hope this helps.

saarhusrn · Apr 25, 2012

Have been a L&D nurse for 18 years, and yes have become cynical. Absolutely love what I do, but in dealing with such clueless, sometimes plain stupid patients, how could you not become cynical. Job is very stressful, hard on you physically and emotionally. Have noticed, I personally started having a drink after work just to unwind from the day. Would I have no gone into nursing if I knew then what I knw now? YES!! The rewards outweigh the bad days.

ButterflyEffect06 · Apr 25, 2012

Im currently in nursing school. I came in shy, quiet and super nervous. After the first clinical rotation, all of that died because HONESTLY I couldn't afford to be that way dealing with people's lives and with other hardcore nurses. I have always had it in me to care and be compassionate, but I feel that as a nurse you have to have a mix like some other posters have said. Dealing with patients, I'm going to be that way, but sometimes dealing with your own healthcare team...you gotta have a little bit of G.I. Jane or Joe in you lol. Every field has ***holes, but it shouldn't make your love for your profession cease.

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2012

there's a lot of old-nurses bashing going on in this thread. i hasten to add that this is not universal, and there have been some posts that specifically recognize us crusty old bats in a positive way, and for that i thank you.

what jumped out at me when i finished up reading today is the difference in the ways older and younger nurses look at our work. younger ones, for the most part, are sure they will never become burned out, mean, or lose their compassion; older ones are pretty sure they will, after they've seen what we have and for as long. that may not be a permanent condition, btw-- as an example, i once had to take a week off from work after a particularly intense period in the icu, recognizing the classic signs of burnout in myself. even after that, i had a long time where i was not whole. i have never had that experience again in nursing. but i guess you had (will have) to be there to understand and appreciate.

it's important to know that while we've been younger and prettier, you haven't been older and tougher. that insight --that we have had the opportunity to see far, far more of life and this profession than you have yet-- can carry you to a lot of useful places, from caring for gerontology patients to a useful place at the public policy tables of the world.

i wish you luck, dear.

LovedRN, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2012

Yes!!!

anotherone, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2012

I wouldn't necessarily say colder, maybe more apathetic. During my 33 yrs in nursing, it is very disheartening to find that as the years have gone by, a few things haven't changed. Staff to patient ratios making for a reasonable work environment and patient safety and (now the biggie... patient satisfaction), which, in my opinion, has stayed suboptimal. It is also unnerving how an institution can upgrade the "face" of their building five to six times, add amenities for visitors, and have nurses lounges filthy, old and at times in disrepair, if their even is a lounge. In addition, very few times, if at all in 33 yrs have I heard from administration, what a great job we are doing, and nursing has never been a part of any program change, unit rearrangement etc. All you get is policies and procedures rammed down your throat and you are expected to know and abide by all 57 million of them, even though 56.5 million of those policies entail adequate staffing, and ancillary personnel to execute properly. That might be part of what you are attributing to "cold".

EXACTLY . a trillion kudos to you.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2012

there's a lot of old-nurses bashing going on in this thread. i hasten to add that this is not universal, and there have been some posts that specifically recognize us crusty old bats in a positive way, and for that i thank you.

what jumped out at me when i finished up reading today is the difference in the ways older and younger nurses look at our work. younger ones, for the most part, are sure they will never become burned out, mean, or lose their compassion; older ones are pretty sure they will, after they've seen what we have and for as long. that may not be a permanent condition, btw-- as an example, i once had to take a week off from work after a particularly intense period in the icu, recognizing the classic signs of burnout in myself. even after that, i had a long time where i was not whole. i have never had that experience again in nursing. but i guess you had (will have) to be there to understand and appreciate.

it's important to know that while we've been younger and prettier, you haven't been older and tougher. that insight --that we have had the opportunity to see far, far more of life and this profession than you have yet-- can carry you to a lot of useful places, from caring for gerontology patients to a useful place at the public policy tables of the world.

i wish you luck, dear.

op....... the dear here is affectionate. i agree again grntea.

i like this one......

3:54 pm by tewdles

good nurses develop professional boundaries.

we learn how to be concise and to the point.

it is our intention to provide excellent care to our patients, be collaborative and helpful with our co-workers, and maintain a healthy personal life.

not all old nurses are b*t**es, but some b*t**es are nurses, each of us gets to choose how we treat others. .......

:bow: couldn't have said it better myself.