So this girl came yesterday and told me her back hurt because a kid accidentally hit her leaving class, I asked her if it was by accident or purpose? She said accident. I joke with the kids a lot, I treat them the way I treat my kids, but while I do, I also process them in. I always ask this, "Are you bleeding? Is anything broken? Are you in pain?, Are you breathing Ok? Are you dying?" in a joking manner, but it helps me understand if the kid is bleeding or is anything wrong, because sometimes they give me this grandiose story, and just asking this, I get them processed quicker. So I asked this to the little girl, made her crack a smile and I gave her an ice pack. I told her if someone does it on purpose next time, then to tell a teacher, but if it was an accident, she would be okay and just get an ice pack next time and go to class.
She left and that was it.
Then today her mom came in, scolded me because she said that he daughter is autistic and that I made her not trust adults anymore because last year she was bullied by students and teachers and humiliating her in this way made her this way. That I need to speak to her with respect and if I went to a university, then why didn't they teach me how to be ethical. I explained I didn't know this and I treat all kids the same way, I have to process them in quickly, I can only have them in here for 15 minutes and yes I do joke this way but it makes it faster for me and them. I apologized to her about this and told her it won't happen again. I told the admin, they said I am doing my job and doing a good one, not to worry about it and that was it, but it really made me feel like a failure. A lot of the kids who came in here really like me, so when this happened, i feel like I really messed up.
Have you ever had parents complain about you or anything in this aspect?
Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
I didn't have a bad day today, I did see the little girl again in the hallway, I smiled at her, waved and said "Hello! How are you today?" She didn't answer me, gave me a frown and avoided me. Hopefully mom doesn't come to yell at me for saying hello. *sarcasm*
I haven't had this happen as a nurse yet, but I've certainly had it happen when I was a school teacher. I've had parents say that I wasn't trained properly, or that I spoke in a mean manner towards their child. I've also been called a racial profiler once, which was super fun. Not to mention totally untrue. (I'm the adoptive mother of a black immigrant, but whatever....we'll just ignore the fact that the kid in question BURNED one of my students, cheated, stole, punched several people, spit on the carpet inside the building, etc...). I have learned to take it with a grain of salt.
I do not, however, use sarcasm with children under the second grade level. (I may have missed how old this girl was in your post). The young ones don't understand it as well, if at all.
And where I work, we have a very easy way of finding out info quickly, so I wouldn't be seeing a student blind. That may help in the future, crazy mama or not.
I haven't had this happen as a nurse yet, but I've certainly had it happen when I was a school teacher. I've had parents say that I wasn't trained properly, or that I spoke in a mean manner towards their child. I've also been called a racial profiler once, which was super fun. Not to mention totally untrue. (I'm the adoptive mother of a black immigrant, but whatever....we'll just ignore the fact that the kid in question BURNED one of my students, cheated, stole, punched several people, spit on the carpet inside the building, etc...). I have learned to take it with a grain of salt.
I do not, however, use sarcasm with children under the second grade level. (I may have missed how old this girl was in your post). The young ones don't understand it as well, if at all.
And where I work, we have a very easy way of finding out info quickly, so I wouldn't be seeing a student blind. That may help in the future, crazy mama or not.
Well.
Clearly you don't support the Protective Rights of Unicorns, so you immediately fall under suspicion for all future transgressions.
...it really made me feel like a failure. A lot of the kids who came in here really like me, so when this happened, i feel like I really messed up.
Have you ever had parents complain about you or anything in this aspect?
Honestly… I get it. I would be upset by that form of communication, too. She was condescending to you and rude, but you have to LET IT ROLL OFF YOUR SHOULDERS. Don't take it personally. When I briefly worked in Paediatrics I was mentored by a very wise, older nurse who advised me to always remember the following (with all patient interactions, but especially with parents of young/special-needs patients):
Think of these parents of patients as being armed with a backback†full of worries, and often they'll unload the contents of their backpack†onto you. But it's not you, they're projecting all the crap they're carrying in that backpackâ€. It's part and parcel to working with these little ones. Politely excuse yourself, go to the break-room, take a deep breath and re-visit the situation… Always bring attention to the fact... if they use inappropriate or violent language towards you. If the situation escalates or they try to (physically) attack you, you've can always immediately refuse care, call security or a Code White
. Try to be helpful as best you can, but don't be anyone's punching bag (literally or figuratively).
Hopefully you'll never experience an escalation, but you gotta just let those rude comments roll off your shoulders.
Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
Honestly… I get it. I would be upset by that form of communication, too. She was condescending to you and rude, but you have to LET IT ROLL OFF YOUR SHOULDERS. Don't take it personally. When I briefly worked in Paediatrics I was mentored by a very wise, older nurse who advised me to always remember the following (with all patient interactions, but especially with parents of young/special-needs patients):
Think of these parents of patients as being armed with a backback†full of worries, and often they'll unload the contents of their backpack†onto you. But it's not you, they're projecting all the crap they're carrying in that backpackâ€. It's part and parcel to working with these little ones. Politely excuse yourself, go to the break-room, take a deep breath and re-visit the situation… Always bring attention to the fact... if they use inappropriate or violent language towards you. If the situation escalates or they try to (physically) attack you, you've can always immediately refuse care, call security or a Code White
. Try to be helpful as best you can, but don't be anyone's punching bag (literally or figuratively).
Hopefully you'll never experience an escalation, but you gotta just let those rude comments roll off your shoulders.
Thank you. So far no complaints from mom, but if she starts to treat me like crap, I will go get an AP and let her take care of it.
Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
Just a small update:
So student doesn't have autism but mom says she does. She basically embezzles government money saying her children has autism, while they really don't. They are as normal as normal can be. The child that was giving problem is actually as sweet girl, she does have a problem with her hip, which she has been to the doctor about. She is getting accommodations for that, so it's fine. She hasn't come in for pain or anything of lately. Mom is nicer to me, because I'm being nice to her kids. She's kinda pain in the ass sometimes though, but eh.
I had a mom upset with me on the first day of school because I refused to change her daughter 's schedule!! I politely informed her that I asked her child to complete a schedule change form so I could give it to her counselor as I had no authority to change anything.
I just apologized anyway even though her precious interrupted me 3 times when I was trying to speak with another parent about their child's severe food allergy. I could tell there was no winning, so why waste my time???
NutmeggeRN, BSN
2 Articles; 4,743 Posts
Cause we cannot fix crazy...
And what Far said, if I blow it I own it and will make a point to apologize to the student and/or the parent.