Got scolded by parent today

[Amethya]

So this girl came yesterday and told me her back hurt because a kid accidentally hit her leaving class, I asked her if it was by accident or purpose? She said accident. I joke with the kids a lot, I treat them the way I treat my kids, but while I do, I also process them in. I always ask this, "Are you bleeding? Is anything broken? Are you in pain?, Are you breathing Ok? Are you dying?" in a joking manner, but it helps me understand if the kid is bleeding or is anything wrong, because sometimes they give me this grandiose story, and just asking this, I get them processed quicker. So I asked this to the little girl, made her crack a smile and I gave her an ice pack. I told her if someone does it on purpose next time, then to tell a teacher, but if it was an accident, she would be okay and just get an ice pack next time and go to class.

She left and that was it.

Then today her mom came in, scolded me because she said that he daughter is autistic and that I made her not trust adults anymore because last year she was bullied by students and teachers and humiliating her in this way made her this way. That I need to speak to her with respect and if I went to a university, then why didn't they teach me how to be ethical. I explained I didn't know this and I treat all kids the same way, I have to process them in quickly, I can only have them in here for 15 minutes and yes I do joke this way but it makes it faster for me and them. I apologized to her about this and told her it won't happen again. I told the admin, they said I am doing my job and doing a good one, not to worry about it and that was it, but it really made me feel like a failure. A lot of the kids who came in here really like me, so when this happened, i feel like I really messed up.

Have you ever had parents complain about you or anything in this aspect?

[MrNurse(x2), ADN]

Welcome to planet Earth. You can not please everyone and somewhere, someone will let you know exactly what they think you are doing wrong. I, too, joke with the students and have a more relaxed relationship with them. This is intentional, as I am also the defacto counselor and I want them to feel comfortable with me so they can tell me things they may feel they can't with their teacher. Do you have a EHR that gives you history immediately? This would have alerted you to his Autism. You need a system that can give you student info immediately as you sign them in. Remember that many parents of special needs children have felt the need to fight for their kid and their default mode is always that they are offended first, rational thought is lower in their emotional tool bag.

[Farawyn]

Yes, I have. Of course. We all have. It sucks when it happens, and I'm sorry it became such an issue.

I have to say, I take exception with one thing you said: "I treat all the kids the same."

I am fair to all the kids, but I don't treat them all the same. At the HS level, I can joke and be a wise guy with most. A few of them? Absolutely NOT.

I would hold off on the jokey jokes unless you know a student better. They are not here to adapt to your nursing style. YOU are here for THEM.

Just my 2 cents.

[Amethya]

Welcome to planet Earth. You can not please everyone and somewhere, someone will let you know exactly what they think you are doing wrong. I, too, joke with the students and have a more relaxed relationship with them. This is intentional, as I am also the defacto counselor and I want them to feel comfortable with me so they can tell me things they may feel they can't with their teacher. Do you have a EHR that gives you history immediately? This would have alerted you to his Autism. You need a system that can give you student info immediately as you sign them in. Remember that many parents of special needs children have felt the need to fight for their kid and their default mode is always that they are offended first, rational thought is lower in their emotional tool bag.

We have a system but it doesn't state she has this, like nothing. So I don't know why this isn't documented at all.

Yeah I agree, she literally like insulted me so much.

[Amethya]

Yes, I have. Of course. We all have. It sucks when it happens, and I'm sorry it became such an issue.

I have to say, I take exception with one thing you said: "I treat all the kids the same."

I am fair to all the kids, but I don't treat them all the same. At the HS level, I can joke and be a wise guy with most. A few of them? Absolutely NOT.

I would hold off on the jokey jokes unless you know a student better. They are not here to adapt to your nursing style. YOU are here for THEM.

Just my 2 cents.

Oh not all of them, the school is from K-8. I treat them differently depending on grade and age, but I do joke with them on occasion, but mostly I try to triage them quickly and sent them on their way.

Honestly, it depends on how they act toward me. This little girl came in, panicked. If I knew she was autistic and about her history, I would talk to her a bit more calmly and differently, but because I didn't, I took her story as some kid who was being dramatic, and that's why I treated her this way.

[Farawyn]

Oh not all of them, the school is from K-8. I treat them differently depending on grade and age, but I do joke with them on occasion, but mostly I try to triage them quickly and sent them on their way.

Honestly, it depends on how they act toward me. This little girl came in, panicked. If I knew she was autistic and about her history, I would talk to her a bit more calmly and differently, but because I didn't, I took her story as some kid who was being dramatic, and that's why I treated her this way.

Panic is panic.

I'm not picking on you. I'm not saying the mom was right in how she spoke to you.

But.

If this was your kid and she came home and said the nurse made fun of her, what would you do?

[Amethya]

Panic is panic.

I'm not picking on you. I'm not saying the mom was right in how she spoke to you.

But.

If this was your kid and she came home and said the nurse made fun of her, what would you do?

I understand you aren't.

But that's different. My 8 year old girl is a drama queen, but she doesn't cry for everything. She sucks it up. I know when she's not joking though. I know my kid, I know how she is.

This kid, I don't know her. I don't know her quirks or anything, so I can't really tell you, if this was my kid, because if the nurse made fun of her, I would ask why, but if it's as small as a kid bumped into me, I would say, that's why because that's not something that important that she needs to give you ice. But since this kid is autistic I understand, but since my kid isn't, it's silly coming from her.

It's not to sound presumptuous, but I told my kids from day one, unless it's a huge emergency, they can go to the nurse, but if the teacher can take care of it in class, no reason to bother her. I will only pick them up unless the nurse tells me to because it's rare for them to go to the nurse and I know it's an actual emergency if they do.

But I do understand where you are coming from and I'll be a bit more empathetic towards them than usual.

[Farawyn]

I understand you aren't.

But that's different. My 8 year old girl is a drama queen, but she doesn't cry for everything. She sucks it up. I know when she's not joking though. I know my kid, I know how she is.

This kid, I don't know her. I don't know her quirks or anything, so I can't really tell you, if this was my kid, because if the nurse made fun of her, I would ask why, but if it's as small as a kid bumped into me, I would say, that's why because that's not something that important that she needs to give you ice. But since this kid is autistic I understand, but since my kid isn't, it's silly coming from her.

It's not to sound presumptuous, but I told my kids from day one, unless it's a huge emergency, they can go to the nurse, but if the teacher can take care of it in class, no reason to bother her. I will only pick them up unless the nurse tells me to because it's rare for them to go to the nurse and I know it's an actual emergency if they do.

But I do understand where you are coming from and I'll be a bit more empathetic towards them than usual.

Yea, my kids knew they had to be crawling through vomit and fire to go to the nurse.

I'm their SN.

[Amethya]

Yea, my kids knew they had to be crawling through vomit and fire to go to the nurse.

I'm their SN.

That's awesome. I can't think of being mine's, because I know any reason, they would run to me. And I don't want to have the same problem I had as a kid where my mom worked at MY school and I would run to her classroom because I hated my class.

[Avill, BSN, RN]

I think it comes with the job lol. I got scolded by a parent of a highschooler when I was barely at the school for like 2 weeks. That particular morning a parent had called me about 30 minutes after the bell rang, asking if I could take their daughters temp. I told them I would as soon as they were done with testing since I could not pull them out of testing, but that the student was free to come to my office if she didn't feel well. Well, time passed, I left early for a meeting and the next day I got an angry voicemail saying that their daughter was very sick, and that her temp was so high they had her in the shower and I that I should do my job.

First of all, your kid is a young adult and can come in here by herself whenever.

Secondly, if you think your child is sick, don't send them to school.Maybe YOU should do your job and check her temp first.

lol SO yeah, it comes with it. You do your best and sometimes you win, sometimes you dont.

[NutmeggeRN, BSN]

I, for one, am THRILLED, that I have not yet been called out by a parent for:

1) being mean to their child-asking why their annual health paperwotk is not tuend in onthe 1st day of shool

2) not understanding the special little snowflake his VERY emotional about her period

3) treating them with disrespect, basically asking them to NOT interrupt me when I ha=am trying to have a conversation with them!!!

....and so on....last year it was day 3!!!! So I feel like a million dollars!! Of course, I have have no doubt jinxed myself!

[Amethya]

I, for one, am THRILLED, that I have not yet been called out by a parent for:

1) being mean to their child-asking why their annual health paperwotk is not tuend in onthe 1st day of shool

2) not understanding the special little snowflake his VERY emotional about her period

3) treating them with disrespect, basically asking them to NOT interrupt me when I ha=am trying to have a conversation with them!!!

....and so on....last year it was day 3!!!! So I feel like a million dollars!! Of course, I have have no doubt jinxed myself!

I only had this lady and another parent because her child is diabetic and we been having issues with them (Find my post on that.) But other than that, all the kids are awesome and I have had no problems with anyone else.

UNJINX! NO JINX!