So this girl came yesterday and told me her back hurt because a kid accidentally hit her leaving class, I asked her if it was by accident or purpose? She said accident. I joke with the kids a lot, I treat them the way I treat my kids, but while I do, I also process them in. I always ask this, "Are you bleeding? Is anything broken? Are you in pain?, Are you breathing Ok? Are you dying?" in a joking manner, but it helps me understand if the kid is bleeding or is anything wrong, because sometimes they give me this grandiose story, and just asking this, I get them processed quicker. So I asked this to the little girl, made her crack a smile and I gave her an ice pack. I told her if someone does it on purpose next time, then to tell a teacher, but if it was an accident, she would be okay and just get an ice pack next time and go to class.
She left and that was it.
Then today her mom came in, scolded me because she said that he daughter is autistic and that I made her not trust adults anymore because last year she was bullied by students and teachers and humiliating her in this way made her this way. That I need to speak to her with respect and if I went to a university, then why didn't they teach me how to be ethical. I explained I didn't know this and I treat all kids the same way, I have to process them in quickly, I can only have them in here for 15 minutes and yes I do joke this way but it makes it faster for me and them. I apologized to her about this and told her it won't happen again. I told the admin, they said I am doing my job and doing a good one, not to worry about it and that was it, but it really made me feel like a failure. A lot of the kids who came in here really like me, so when this happened, i feel like I really messed up.
Have you ever had parents complain about you or anything in this aspect?
I like that you are trying to establish a good rapport with kiddos by joking around a bit. My concern with your post is that you told mom you can only keep them for 15 minutes.
While that may be the case, I never tell a parent that I am always rushed. I had a kiddo that the special ed teacher usually gave meds to, she was out and I simply forgot as it wasn't a part of my regular schedule. (Not a vital med). So when I called mom I didn't dare tell her I forgot. I worded it something like "With Mrs. So-and-So out the kids schedule is a bit off, and he didn't get his medicine on time this morning, I would be happy to give it now if you would like and I will make sure we have a better routine tomorrow."
Parents usually don't respond well to hearing that their snowflake isn't the most important kid in school, or that I was too busy. I never tell them "Well, I had 3 kids in my office, one with poop running down their leg, one with a low glucose, and one with a golf-ball sized goose egg on their head, so your kid with the bug bites from a week ago...was NOT my priority." Even though that is 100% the case.
And if your system did not state that she was autistic, that simply is not your fault, but maybe you could add it now.
Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
I like that you are trying to establish a good rapport with kiddos by joking around a bit. My concern with your post is that you told mom you can only keep them for 15 minutes.
While that may be the case, I never tell a parent that I am always rushed. I had a kiddo that the special ed teacher usually gave meds to, she was out and I simply forgot as it wasn't a part of my regular schedule. (Not a vital med). So when I called mom I didn't dare tell her I forgot. I worded it something like "With Mrs. So-and-So out the kids schedule is a bit off, and he didn't get his medicine on time this morning, I would be happy to give it now if you would like and I will make sure we have a better routine tomorrow."
Parents usually don't respond well to hearing that their snowflake isn't the most important kid in school, or that I was too busy. I never tell them "Well, I had 3 kids in my office, one with poop running down their leg, one with a low glucose, and one with a golf-ball sized goose egg on their head, so your kid with the bug bites from a week ago...was NOT my priority." Even though that is 100% the case.
And if your system did not state that she was autistic, that simply is not your fault, but maybe you could add it now.
Gotta love our jobs! :)
I'll keep that in mind for now on, especially since the conversation went kinda sour after I added that. Thanks!
But doesn't she have to go through some things to be considered autistic?
But doesn't she have to go through some things to be considered autistic?
This! Some parents don't want their kid to be average or less, so they want a diagnosis to tell the world their snowflake is special and not just average or below average. They don't seek real answers because they already have it. Ahhh, the world we live in!
Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
This! Some parents don't want their kid to be average or less, so they want a diagnosis to tell the world their snowflake is special and not just average or below average. They don't seek real answers because they already have it. Ahhh, the world we live in!
So true...
I guess I'll go ask someone about this because if she is autistic, do they know and if I need to put it in.
This! Some parents don't want their kid to be average or less, so they want a diagnosis to tell the world their snowflake is special and not just average or below average. They don't seek real answers because they already have it. Ahhh, the world we live in!
I would be careful with this.
While it may be true, there are really so many kids on the spectrum now. Kids that don't get services because the parents are afraid to classify, or because they have slipped through the cracks.
I see that a lot more than parents trying to classify their kids- purely anecdotal, or course.
Also, being classified does not mean you are average or less than average. In many cases it just means that you learn differently.
I know what you meant to say, but since most of our posts end up on FB, I don't want a slew of angry parents after you.
Thanks. My intent was that rather than accept that their child may be average, or heaven forbid below average, let's self label so they have an "excuse". I have no prejudice regarding learning disabilities. I am just sick of parents telling me how exceptional their child is when one less than half of us are below average.
Thanks. My intent was that rather than accept that their child may be average, or heaven forbid below average, let's self label so they have an "excuse". I have no prejudice regarding learning disabilities. I am just sick of parents telling me how exceptional their child is when one less than half of us are below average.
Hear that. Outside of MY kids of course. Who Rock, and are TRULY exceptional Special Snowflakes with sugar on top!
You're not a failure but you're not perfect. We all make mistakes and sometimes parents blow things out of proportion when their mother bear instinct comes out. Some parents complain for things that aren't even our fault! Use this as a learning experience. What you said must have upset the girl a little or she would never have told her mom what all you said. Something I've learned in school nursing is that even minor silly things can seem scary or important to a kid. I know you were trying to bring her perspective and lighten the mood but by saying "are you going to die" comes across as unless she is dying you don't care. If it's a student you know well and have established a relationship with then they will get you're joking but some that don't know you or having learning disabilities where they can't read people well will not get that you're joking. So just be careful, apologize when you must, and make sure the parents you talk to know you love their child as much as they do! You sound like a caring nurse so learn and move on. Don't beat yourself up!
Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
Well I learned new and disturbing information to be honest. I won't go into much detail but it seems to me that what everyone has told me... this mother is crazy as crazy can go. I mean that won't stop me from being nice and courteous, but wow. But what I have been told, she is very horrible and has made a lot of people quit because she harassed them. I hope I can survive this lady.
You sound like a caring nurse so learn and move on. Don't beat yourself up!
OyWithThePoodles, RN
1,338 Posts
I like that you are trying to establish a good rapport with kiddos by joking around a bit. My concern with your post is that you told mom you can only keep them for 15 minutes.
While that may be the case, I never tell a parent that I am always rushed. I had a kiddo that the special ed teacher usually gave meds to, she was out and I simply forgot as it wasn't a part of my regular schedule. (Not a vital med). So when I called mom I didn't dare tell her I forgot. I worded it something like "With Mrs. So-and-So out the kids schedule is a bit off, and he didn't get his medicine on time this morning, I would be happy to give it now if you would like and I will make sure we have a better routine tomorrow."
Parents usually don't respond well to hearing that their snowflake isn't the most important kid in school, or that I was too busy. I never tell them "Well, I had 3 kids in my office, one with poop running down their leg, one with a low glucose, and one with a golf-ball sized goose egg on their head, so your kid with the bug bites from a week ago...was NOT my priority." Even though that is 100% the case.
And if your system did not state that she was autistic, that simply is not your fault, but maybe you could add it now.
Gotta love our jobs! :)