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Got fired yesterday from a wonderful job. My fault completely. Emotionally struggling.

Nurses   (1,280 Views 18 Comments)
by michigan94 michigan94 (Member) Member

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Hi everyone. Going through a bit of a traumatizing experience here. Yesterday I was fired during my first 90 days from a great job I had at a local hospital. The firing was 100% my fault. I’ve struggled with mental health issues on and off for along time, never reaching out for actual help, recently I once again found myself in a dark place. This resulted in me not caring about anything. I didn’t want to leave bed, had no energy, and also had a lot of anxiety about messing up at work. I called into work too many times which is why I was let go. I tried to explain what was going on but my boss was not nice to me during our last conversation before I left. I just wasn’t thinking clearly at all and never thought this could actually happen to me. This is my first time being fired. I take full responsibility for what happened and hate myself for it. The first thing I did was make an apt with my doctor because I knew I wouldn’t handle this well and I recognized I had a real problem if I really let myself get to the point where I didn’t care about everything I worked for. I’m now starting Zoloft and praying it may help me. I’m slightly panicking over money since I have no real support and I instantly contacted a bar I work at on the side and began picking up shifts. I also got in touch with my old boss at a hospital I was a C.N.A. at for 4 years, this facility was my “home” and I worked very hard there and had a good reputation, and the only reason I didn’t stay there is because there were no open positions when I graduated. My old boss said he’d love to have me on my old floor but isn’t able to make a position, but he said he’d be happy to help me get in on another floor and set up a time for me to meet with him tomorrow. I’m very grateful for this but I seriously don’t know how to go about explaining myself and why I need a new job right now. I don’t want to be dishonest but I don’t want to paint a bad picture for myself and have them see me as a unreliable person, because I wasn’t myself and I want to work on my internal issues and ensure this doesn’t become a pattern. I’ll never take any job for granted after this experience. Would it be really wrong to omit this from my resume and keep my last nursing job that I left 3 months ago on good terms and say I have only been working my side bartending job since? That’s what I’m tempted to do because I don’t know if the truth will hurt me... Or is honest best? This is my main network and to be able to have a job there would save my life right now. Last question, what are some ways I can stay positive and move on from this? I’m truly crushed and beating myself up about it so bad. The job I lost felt like a dream when I was hired and it’s haunting me knowing I messed it up. I’m so ashamed, when I went back to the bar everyone was asking me how my job was and I couldn’t even bring myself to tell them I got fired. I only told my boyfriend and my doctor, I’m way too ashamed for my friends/family and everyone who was so proud to know. I don’t want this new lack of confidence to show when I’m trying to find a new job, and I financially cannot just take time to re-evaluate myself, I need to get myself working full time ASAP. I’m just really struggling on how to deal with my emotions about it all. 

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JBMmom has 6 years experience as a MSN and specializes in Long term care; med-surg; critical care.

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Take a breath. It's a great step that you're getting yourself the help that you clearly need and you will move on from this a better person with more insight into how this happened and the consequences of your actions. I'm sorry that your previous boss wasn't nice to you during the process, but unreliability from a new employee is rarely met with too much sympathy. You didn't have a chance to prove yourself yet, so they are not going to try to accommodate someone when during the orientation period they can just cut their losses and find someone else.

That being said, this isn't the end of the world. You have a good reputation at the other facility and you are likely to be successful if you get yourself set up with better mental health. Leaving a job during orientation is relatively easy to explain. I wouldn't just leave it off, too much chance that someone someday will casually mentioned they met you when you worked XXX and then someone else is wondering why you never mentioned that. Just say it didn't work out as a good fit. You can't be pressed for details by a new employer. I would NOT recommend going into a long explanation, even though you are taking responsibility, there's no need to go that route.

You'll be fine. You will find a good fit for a job. Now you know not to take it lightly when calling out of work, even if you feel it's justified from your standpoint. Good luck.

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CharleeFoxtrot has 7 years experience as a ADN, RN.

513 Posts; 6,474 Profile Views

I'm so very glad you reached out for help and wish you the very best!  I guess I'd use the trusty "job i left after three months wasn't a good fit" line and move on right on past it if asked. Your old boss knows you, and that is to your benefit.

Edited by CharleeFoxtrot
corrected word

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Sour Lemon has 9 years experience.

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"I had a short-term personal issue that has since been resolved and that I do not expect to recur."

I wouldn't say more than that, and I'd only say that much if I were pressed for an explanation.

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32 Posts; 1,823 Profile Views

I’m not sure if I’m replying right but thank you so much to those who commented so far. Great advice and I feel a teeny bit better. ❤️

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Pixie.RN has 11 years experience as a MSN, RN, EMT-P and specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CNE, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

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Might you qualify for unemployment if you were fired? Just a thought, I am admittedly not well versed in that. I am so sorry you are going through this, but it sounds like you have great support and a good plan in place. You will bounce back for sure! 

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Here.I.Stand has 16 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

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((((Hugs)))) I second Sour Lemon’s advice, and am so glad you reached out and got some help.  My mental health struggle didn’t so much affect my work — I almost always felt better at work.  But it really affected my personality and my relationship with my kids.  I am near-universally described as “sweet,” (or “so sweet” or “the sweetest” lol) and I was yelling at them over stupid things.  On my med regimen and with my therapist I’m a whole new person!  

You’ve got this!  You’ve done the difficult part already.  

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SmilingBluEyes has 20 years experience.

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I am more concerned about you than the job. Continue with professional help; work on you and the rest will come together. So many of us have been there; you are NOT alone.

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7 hours ago, michigan94 said:

I take full responsibility for what happened and hate myself for it.

Good on you for taking responsibility. Now don't dwell on this idea that you hate yourself. It's okay to be disappointed in how you responded to the stressor, it is not okay to hate yourself. Don't do that. You don't deserve it.

I would not suggest having a whole friendly conversation with this former supervisor who is willing to help you while omitting any mention of this job. You won't feel good about that tack and it has bridge-burner potential anyway. But you have received a couple of great suggestions about what you can say.

Pick yourself up, shake it off, put your best foot forward. "Tomorrow's a new day." ☀️

Good luck!

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Nurse SMS has 8 years experience as a MSN, RN and specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

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Let me reframe this for you -

You have a medical condition that was untreated. It caused you to miss too much work, so your job was not able to keep you on.

You responded by muscling through that medical condition, which is one that makes it VERY difficult to muscle through it, to get yourself squared away. You sought medical help, did what you had to do to make sure the lights stay on while you figure things out and you reached out to past connections that can reaffirm a positive viewpoint through which you can see yourself.

My dear, you are doing GREAT. Yes, take those meds and keep seeing your doctor. But give yourself a break too. Nobody would tell someone with a medical condition that could not make it to work because of that condition that they were shameful, a failure or "at fault" for not figuring out how to work and be sick at the same time. Yes, they might not get to keep their job, but it is not a character flaw that you could not go to work.

You are taking care of business. From where I sit, the adjectives that describe you right now are things like "brave", "determined", "resilient". You will move on from this. Sour Lemon gave good advice on how to represent yourself to your potential new/old employer. As far as telling people, you don't owe anyone an explanation of your medical care. Your job was collateral damage, nothing more. Just say it wasn't working for you and you are happy to report you are figuring out a better situation for yourself. If they want details, change the subject or just flat out tell them you prefer not to discuss it.

This will be okay in the end. Promise.

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19 hours ago, Nurse SMS said:

Let me reframe this for you -

You have a medical condition that was untreated. It caused you to miss too much work, so your job was not able to keep you on.

You responded by muscling through that medical condition, which is one that makes it VERY difficult to muscle through it, to get yourself squared away. You sought medical help, did what you had to do to make sure the lights stay on while you figure things out and you reached out to past connections that can reaffirm a positive viewpoint through which you can see yourself.

My dear, you are doing GREAT. Yes, take those meds and keep seeing your doctor. But give yourself a break too. Nobody would tell someone with a medical condition that could not make it to work because of that condition that they were shameful, a failure or "at fault" for not figuring out how to work and be sick at the same time. Yes, they might not get to keep their job, but it is not a character flaw that you could not go to work.

You are taking care of business. From where I sit, the adjectives that describe you right now are things like "brave", "determined", "resilient". You will move on from this. Sour Lemon gave good advice on how to represent yourself to your potential new/old employer. As far as telling people, you don't owe anyone an explanation of your medical care. Your job was collateral damage, nothing more. Just say it wasn't working for you and you are happy to report you are figuring out a better situation for yourself. If they want details, change the subject or just flat out tell them you prefer not to discuss it.

This will be okay in the end. Promise.

Thank you, I keep coming back to your comment and rereading it to get through the day. Means a lot! 

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Katie82 has 25 years experience and specializes in Med Surg, Tele, PH, CM.

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I can relate to this. My daughter has mental health issues that flare up at times. She has lost two jobs because of this. It is a roller coaster, but you have to stay on it. You say you started Zoloft. Are you seeing a Mental Health Provider? So important, rather than being "treated" by your PCP who doesn't really have an inclusive background in Depression/Mental Health. See a specialist. There are probably free or fee-scaled programs in your area. Could be something more than situational depression. You can and will recover from this. Both of my daughter's flare-ups were precipitated by dose/medication changes, so stay on top of your meds. NAMI is another resource for guidance, education.  Good luck to you. 

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