Hi everyone. Going through a bit of a traumatizing experience here. Yesterday I was fired during my first 90 days from a great job I had at a local hospital. The firing was 100% my fault. I’ve struggled with mental health issues on and off for along time, never reaching out for actual help, recently I once again found myself in a dark place. This resulted in me not caring about anything. I didn’t want to leave bed, had no energy, and also had a lot of anxiety about messing up at work. I called into work too many times which is why I was let go. I tried to explain what was going on but my boss was not nice to me during our last conversation before I left. I just wasn’t thinking clearly at all and never thought this could actually happen to me. This is my first time being fired. I take full responsibility for what happened and hate myself for it. The first thing I did was make an apt with my doctor because I knew I wouldn’t handle this well and I recognized I had a real problem if I really let myself get to the point where I didn’t care about everything I worked for. I’m now starting Zoloft and praying it may help me. I’m slightly panicking over money since I have no real support and I instantly contacted a bar I work at on the side and began picking up shifts. I also got in touch with my old boss at a hospital I was a C.N.A. at for 4 years, this facility was my “home” and I worked very hard there and had a good reputation, and the only reason I didn’t stay there is because there were no open positions when I graduated. My old boss said he’d love to have me on my old floor but isn’t able to make a position, but he said he’d be happy to help me get in on another floor and set up a time for me to meet with him tomorrow. I’m very grateful for this but I seriously don’t know how to go about explaining myself and why I need a new job right now. I don’t want to be dishonest but I don’t want to paint a bad picture for myself and have them see me as a unreliable person, because I wasn’t myself and I want to work on my internal issues and ensure this doesn’t become a pattern. I’ll never take any job for granted after this experience. Would it be really wrong to omit this from my resume and keep my last nursing job that I left 3 months ago on good terms and say I have only been working my side bartending job since? That’s what I’m tempted to do because I don’t know if the truth will hurt me... Or is honest best? This is my main network and to be able to have a job there would save my life right now. Last question, what are some ways I can stay positive and move on from this? I’m truly crushed and beating myself up about it so bad. The job I lost felt like a dream when I was hired and it’s haunting me knowing I messed it up. I’m so ashamed, when I went back to the bar everyone was asking me how my job was and I couldn’t even bring myself to tell them I got fired. I only told my boyfriend and my doctor, I’m way too ashamed for my friends/family and everyone who was so proud to know. I don’t want this new lack of confidence to show when I’m trying to find a new job, and I financially cannot just take time to re-evaluate myself, I need to get myself working full time ASAP. I’m just really struggling on how to deal with my emotions about it all.
