If you're on Facebook, you're probably familiar with a Go Fund Me appeal being posted for a co-worker. I have mixed feelings about this.
Often, multiple people will repost for a particularly popular person. One recent post was the adult daughter of a gal who worked in the hospital, who died suddenly, trying to raise money for funeral expenses and to help her. Her goal was $20,000. I thought, what kind of funeral are you planning? It felt like she was trying to cash in on this.
When I see one for someone who has expenses from an illness, I think about the many people who also had illnesses, had to have FMLA perhaps, also incurred the extra expenses, and no Go Fund Me.
There are people who get into a pickle because they blow their money on trips, the casino, enabling adult children, or blowing their PTO and sick time frivolously. Then comes the cry for help when Murphy strikes.
At my last job, I almost always switched shifts with others, at first genuinely OK with it, then I did it hoping that others would one day reciprocate. When I REALLY needed a switch, not one person switched with me, even though I did so for others routinely. I learned an important lesson. I also prepared food for bridal and baby showers, and brought gifts, all the while enjoying it, but never once received a thank - you card. Not for the diapers I brought, the onesies and baby blankets, the wedding shower gifts...(still cranky).
I still LOVE bridal showers and baby showers, celebrating with coworkers and friends. I think GoFundMe is tacky, except under dire circumstances. We ALL struggle and make sacrifices. I never would have thought to crowdsource for tuition, a new car, vacation, kitchen update, etc. When our pet needed surgery, we drained our bank accounts and spent months working to recover. Didn't go on a vacation for four years.
Mr. Money Mustache has an interesting post about this subject. It boils down to treating debt in one of two ways - the first way is it is attacking you like fire ants, crawling all over you, and you cease all extra spending outside of food + housing until that debt is repaid. The second way is where the person continues to spend freely, vacation, buy new clothes, go out, get a new phone, buy a new car, upgrade this, etc... it takes longer to pay off debt the second way because you're funneling $$$ towards new expenses instead of the initial disaster. Sorry...that reply went off on a rant
Glad to know I'm not the only negative nellie on GFM.
If the issue is beyond the benefactors control (illness, car crash etc) then I feel more comfortable donating. Usually in the form of groceries/services offered in person.
But it's so hard to be sure that they are honest, or are just BSing for sympathy & handouts. Especially when the poster of ad is also the person who gets the funds.
I recently saw a GFM account for a guy who attended my high school. Apparently, his dream has always been to make a vocal recording, but he needed 2 weeks to travel to Nashville and then of course a hotel room and food to cover those 2 weeks. He did raise about 5K, I believe. What ever happened to working hard (one or more jobs), living within your means and realizing that being frugal for 5 years will allow you to realize your dream in the future?
If you work for something, you appreciate it so much more. When I learned to drive, my parents bought an older car (10 years) but I learned the value of a buck, paying them back, $50/week (from my then cashier job at grocery store).
But if they have the means to help somebody financially, more power to them, if that's what they choose to spend it on.
I had a Go Fund Me friend on FB. It wasn't a work friend though. I'm not a fan of it. Someone else started it for them, but they certainly promoted it. Yeah, they were truly needy. At least, if they were being truthful. It didn't sit well with me and I didn't contribute to it. I quit FB anyway. Best. Decision. Ever.
Anyway, a co-worker recently had her father pass. He didn't have insurance and didn't have money set aside for funeral expenses, I gathered. They did a collection at work and I contributed around ten bucks and signed the sympathy card.
To me it's pretty simple, if it's something you support, donate. If not, don't. People will always try to take advantage, that doesn't mean you have to be involved.
As for 20K for a funeral, that's not out of line, particularly if they have no insurance. I don't think anyone is trying to "cash in."
Did some research on funeral costs. Yeah, if you want to buy a plot it's probably going to be more expensive. but if you choose cremation it sounds like it's not exorbitant. If you want to look at the link do so. This is for Washington state which not totally cheap the area of the country to live in.
*Cremation with Family Viewing..............................................................................$1295.
*Cremation with Family Witness..............................................................................$1895.
*Cremation with Public Visitation.............................................................................$1995.
*Cremation with Memorial Services at Church or Graveside at Cemetery.......$1895.
*Veteran Cremation with Graveside at Tahoma National Cemetery with Ceremonial Casket and Military Honors......................................................................................$2195.
*Cremation with Full Traditional Services...............................................................$2895.
*All cremation packages includes Necessary Cremation Container
I personally do not participate in go fund me's for my co-workers or anybody actually for that matter. I would rather make a homemade supper for their family or offer my help around their house or whatever may be needed during their time of need...
There are people who get into a pickle because they blow their money on trips, the casino, enabling adult children, or blowing their PTO and sick time frivolously. Then comes the cry for help when Murphy strikes.
I'm not a tightwad, nor am I not willing to help people, but the above often applies.
My aunt created one when her car blew up (she never did necessary maintenance to keep her cars running). She created a GFM for a new engine. They'd just taken a week long vacation to Disneyland with their two kids and stayed in one of the pricey on site hotels....
I haven't taken a real vacation since my honeymoon 11 years ago. I keep an emergency fund ready for such emergencies.
I think she got a whopping 20$ in donations.
I think one of their parents bailed them out as usual.
Stuff like this used to really bother me - I had a "friend" that had one because she continued to make really crappy life choices and wanted people to support her while she "found" herself. But honestly, if people are willing to fork over cash for stuff like that, more power to them.
If there is someone that I want to help with something, I'll bring food, or gift certificates or my shoulder as needed. I just ignore the fundraising stuff - not being on Facebook really helps :)
Exactly! I've bought Walmart and Target gift cards for friends that had fallen on difficult times due to illness or unfortunate circumstances. No matter what hurdles they may have been facing, they could use the gift card for groceries, diapers, detergent, shampoo...anything to help them live in the meantime. Tucking a gift card into a pretty card with a handwritten message is a more personal way to let someone know that I care, and that I sincerely care about their well-being.
I have donated on a few of GoFundMe accounts. These were people I knew the backstory or trusted close relatives recommended the family and knew the backstory. None of the recipients lived near me so this was the best way to help out.
Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.
I have a more open mind for funeral and catastrophic illness or injury fund requests.
A lot of the world is struggling and needs help.
One can just cruise on by such items without getting judged.
^^ This!
Most Go Fund Me campaigns that I see are kind of silly. However, recently, a woman i grew up with-who was my best friend from approx age 16-early 20s posted a super sad story. Her baby sister died giving birth to her 1st child. I sure did donate a decent amount of money to help them.
chacha82, ADN, BSN
626 Posts
At my last job, I almost always switched shifts with others, at first genuinely OK with it, then I did it hoping that others would one day reciprocate. When I REALLY needed a switch, not one person switched with me, even though I did so for others routinely. I learned an important lesson. I also prepared food for bridal and baby showers, and brought gifts, all the while enjoying it, but never once received a thank - you card. Not for the diapers I brought, the onesies and baby blankets, the wedding shower gifts...(still cranky).
I still LOVE bridal showers and baby showers, celebrating with coworkers and friends. I think GoFundMe is tacky, except under dire circumstances. We ALL struggle and make sacrifices. I never would have thought to crowdsource for tuition, a new car, vacation, kitchen update, etc. When our pet needed surgery, we drained our bank accounts and spent months working to recover. Didn't go on a vacation for four years.
Mr. Money Mustache has an interesting post about this subject. It boils down to treating debt in one of two ways - the first way is it is attacking you like fire ants, crawling all over you, and you cease all extra spending outside of food + housing until that debt is repaid. The second way is where the person continues to spend freely, vacation, buy new clothes, go out, get a new phone, buy a new car, upgrade this, etc... it takes longer to pay off debt the second way because you're funneling $$$ towards new expenses instead of the initial disaster. Sorry...that reply went off on a rant