giving your email to a patient, yes or no?

[Sterren, BSN, RN]

I had a patient recently that I really connected with. After we discharged her, I wondered how she was doing and wished I'd given her my email address or something so that if she were comfortable with it, she could update me on how things were going for her.

I wondered, though, about the ethics of doing something like this? Is it okay to share your email address with a patient? This is the first time I've ever been tempted to do so, she was just such a great person and going through something really hard. For her part she asked if it was possible for me to float to the unit I discharged her to, so I could continue to be her nurse, and she asked me to come and visit her while she was still hospitalized. So I believe that the connection/bonding/whatever term you want to use went both ways.

Thoughts?

[VivaRN]

No. It crosses the boundary from a professional to a personal relationship. Some would say it is ok to do this after the patient is discharged (no more nurse-patient relationship) but I would argue that in most cases the patient still sees you as a caregiver. Too much risk, liability and potential for mess to make it worth it to me. In your situation I would help her find other sources of support who are more permanent in her life than you.

Not saying this is the case here, but some patients make you feel special so they can be manipulative.

[anonymurse]

I had a patient recently that I really connected with. After we discharged her, I wondered how she was doing and wished I'd given her my email address or something so that if she were comfortable with it, she could update me on how things were going for her.

First, I'm guessing by your post that you're a hospital nurse. If so, your relationship with your patients begins when you accept assignment and ends when you hand off your patient to the gaining nurse or d/c them. I had problems communicating this to a doctor, who wanted me to follow up with a d/c'd pt with whom he had a f/u appt. The doctor definitely had an ongoing relationship; I definitely did not.

Further, any relationship I previously had with the pt was through the hospital. That's the thing: you have only an indirect relationship with the patient. It's framed by your assignment as accepted by you within the hospital's formal framework. This framework protects you. Don't go outside it.

Second, your desires as expressed above are of a personal, not therapeutic nature. And it appears you were thinking of providing the pt with your personal e-mail address while on duty. Were she to complain that you'd gotten "too personal" with her, offering your personal e-mail address as evidence, you'd be in a pickle.

[nursel56]

Hi Sterren! I know you'll probably get lots of responses, but your post reminded me so much of a very recent thread here that may give you an additional sample of nurse's opinions on this issue. Best wishes to you.

Was I Inappropriate - Nursing for Nurses

[PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN]

No.

I will be a nurse for 18 years in June.

I've only bonded with ONE PATIENT FAMILY, that I hear from every now and then.

So....no...

never.,

[Sparrowhawk]

Never. It's just not professional and could be taken the wrong way by the patient/family

[Otessa, BSN, RN]

I would check with your work.

Not something I would do.

Just like I wouldn't add them as friends on Facebook.

otessa

[FlyingScot, RN]

My job often requires me to give my work e-mail to patients. I'd never give my personal one out. Big boundary violation. This "bonding" you speak of may not be all that healthy from her side.

[rn-jane]

First, I'm guessing by your post that you're a hospital nurse. If so, your relationship with your patients begins when you accept assignment and ends when you hand off your patient to the gaining nurse or d/c them. I had problems communicating this to a doctor, who wanted me to follow up with a d/c'd pt with whom he had a f/u appt. The doctor definitely had an ongoing relationship; I definitely did not.

Further, any relationship I previously had with the pt was through the hospital. That's the thing: you have only an indirect relationship with the patient. It's framed by your assignment as accepted by you within the hospital's formal framework. This framework protects you. Don't go outside it.

Second, your desires as expressed above are of a personal, not therapeutic nature. And it appears you were thinking of providing the pt with your personal e-mail address while on duty. Were she to complain that you'd gotten "too personal" with her, offering your personal e-mail address as evidence, you'd be in a pickle.

I so totally agree! It's nice that you feel like you communicated well, you did your job now you are done. It may sound cold but that is our job to provide them care and therapeutic communication while in the confines of your care.

[evolvingrn, BSN, RN]

why couldn't she give her work email? I know my friend got the email of her clinic nurse when she found out she was having twins (the nurse also had twins). at first i thought eek..... what is that nurse thinking. but honestly you won't find a bigger fan of that clinic than my friend. Im all about boundries but i also think that it means a lot to patients to feel 'cared' about. I don't think its always inappropriate to acknowledge that you do care while still keeping that boundary.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

No.

In case I was ambivalent in my response...NO.

[SonorityGenius]

There is a termination phase in a nurse-patient relationship - and it is taught and practiced for a reason - liability, not just of yours personally but of the hospital that employs you too. It is NOT okay to stay in contact AFTER the termination of a nurse-patient relationship. There are no exceptions.