Final grade disappointment... why can't I let it go???

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Happy Holidays to all!

Before I started my clinicals, I was a mad woman obsessed with getting straight A's. I have never been an A student or a B student :chuckle til now. Of course, up until 1-1/2 yrs ago, I wasn't sure I was ready for this. This past quarter I was taking 16 credit hours along with being a full time mom to 3 boys and guess what....my average was a B+. I was a little upset for about 2 minutes and then moved onto worrying about my son's speech therapy or the 6% pay cut my husband was having to take the first of the year.

While I can empathize with you somewhat, an A- is a HUGE accomplishment! I do, however, empathize more with some of my friends who missed passing by 1 or 2 points. Be grateful that you made it and shoot for that A next quarter/semester! :balloons:

Specializes in critical care; community health; psych.

Posting on an internet board isn't the best method for communication. You don't see the facial expressions or get the all important nonverbal input. This method does have its limitations.

Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
:zzzzz

Is this post for real? Are nursing students getting to be this silly these days? Ok, imma shut my mouth....

What you might think of "this silly" might be a disappointing situation to someone else. No need to minimize how someone else is feeling.
What you might think of "this silly" might be a disappointing situation to someone else. No need to minimize how someone else is feeling.
So let her sweat an A to an A minus grade, as opposed to helping her put things into perspective? Not minimizing nobody's feelings...
Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
So let her sweat an A to an A minus grade, as opposed to helping her put things into perspective? Not minimizing nobody's feelings...

You said ".......there is nothing to empathize there. why she is disappointed is beyond me."

I feel that you are minimizing her feelings. You dismissed the fact she was disappointed because it's beyond you. Just because if you were in that situation you would feel entirely different doesn't mean someone else is going to. If you'd like to help her put things in perspective, this isn't an effective way of doing it.

You're feelings are valid as well. It is a bit hard to feel sorry for someone who has made an A-. But trying to invalidate her feelings isn't "therapeautic communication" :rotfl: :)

It's tough for us to fall short of our goals especially when we work super hard. I feel your pain.........an A- when you wanted an A is a blow........this semester I got more B's than A's and I was upset.....I had worked so hard! Late night study sessions, giving up my fave tv shows to study.......you know what I mean! But I realized that no matter what I want or what I plan which was to get all A's by the way, it wont always happen.........nursing is the same way, duirng clinical, I try to plan as much as possible for a low stress day but my patients surprise me or I get worn out.......so I learned that I need to allow room in my plan for flexability.......I treat my grades the same way. We strive for perfection and when we dont reach it we feel bad...........and it sucks. But we did the best we could.........and that feels great. I now know how I should study to make better grades.........so hopefully I will make more A's next semester but also......we lost some people this semester and I felt a teeny bit guilty complaining over the B's I got.....at least I MADE it. I am ableto moveon to the next level.......the next semester, I passed.........that is wonderful, nursing school is tough...........its a challenege and when we succeed, we did good. So...everyone.......just do the best you can......and relax a little! We arent perfect.........that sucks but we arent! We have to shoot for the moon and hopefully get a star......I am sorry you didnt reach your goal of an A...........but you came really close.......you did good.........maybe not an A but you did really good....to me. But now you know you have to work a little harder next semester and you can do it girl! I think that the most important thing is learning the material and being able to apply it in life and on exams.........passing is gold. We all want to pass! And you did that! So merry christmas to you! You go girl!

Guys...the original poster of this thread deleted her original post...left the thread...so why are we still giving her advice? She obviously doesn't want it. :confused:

I just want to add support for the OP. In one of my classes I had a 94% the entire semester. I ended up bombing my final. Dropped me down to a grade between 80-85%. Now that is disappointing! My entire family is telling me that an A- is still excellent, but I cant shake it either. I worked my butt off and was expecting to finish with an A+.

All I can offer is a big hug and the encouragement to work just a tad harder next semester.

Good luck!

Specializes in Med-Surg.
I just want to add support for the OP. In one of my classes I had a 94% the entire semester. I ended up bombing my final. Dropped me down to a grade between 80-85%. Now that is disappointing! My entire family is telling me that an A- is still excellent, but I cant shake it either. I worked my butt off and was expecting to finish with an A+.

All I can offer is a big hug and the encouragement to work just a tad harder next semester.

Good luck!

? A grade between 80 and 85% is an A- at your school? That's a C or low B at mine.

Why do ppl keep on insisting that I was minimizing her feelings. Thats how I felt about how she said she didnt like her grade. I stated my opinion straight to the point, plain and simple. How is that minimizing? I was just trying to be honest. There is a right time to be empathetic and a right time to be honest. How terrible is it to have an A-, in nursing school? ...seriously! I dont even know of anybody who had an A in RN school, do u? So you have to understand how a post like her's can come off as a lil silly, a lil childish and even be a lil arrogant.

Specializes in LTC/Behavioral/ Hospice.

Wow. I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume that you don't understand the term "minimize", then. :o

From Webster's Dictionary:

Main Entry: min-i-mize

Pronunciation: 'mi-n&-"mIz

Function: transitive verb

Inflected Form(s): -mized; -miz-ing

Date: 1802

1 : to reduce or keep to a minimum

2 : to underestimate intentionally : PLAY DOWN, SOFT-PEDAL

In essence, you underestimated her disappointment. You reduced it so that it wasn't important. You made it small.

The reason people object to that is because as nurses we are supposed to show empathy and compassion for people. Empathy means putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Compassion means:: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it. It doesn't mean that you make the other person feel silly or small for having her feelings. It doesn't matter how you would feel about getting an A-. It matters that she is disappointed and came to the board and her feelings were minimized. She was called silly. If that isn't making someone feel small, I'm not sure I know what is.

With that said, I highly suggest we let the matter drop. We may never ever understand each other or come to an agreement , but we can leave it at that, I think. We don't always have to understand or agree.

Peace.

Specializes in LTC/Behavioral/ Hospice.

My apologies for the angry face and any typos I have. I cannot edit my posts for some reason. I have been having issues with posting all day long. The angry face is supposed to be a frown. The tone of my message is by no means angry at all.

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Never mind. I've got it fixed and was able to change the angry guy to a frowny guy.

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