would it be appropiate for me to attend the funeral?

Nurses General Nursing

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Hi. I worked on this case for 5 months with a 7 month old baby who just passed. I was doing private duty nursing for the baby. My agency gave me the service times and everything,but I was just wondering would it be appropiate? I was attached to the child very much. If it isn't appropiate to attend the funeral what other things could I do to show condolences?

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Specializes in chemical dependency detox/psych.

I've attended funerals for some patients when I was working in an oncology unit, and also when I worked in a nursing home. I don't think that it would be inappropriate, since the family was aware you were providing care. My DONs in those units always were supportive of our attending funerals, and would rearrange schedules so we could attend. My condolences on the loss of your patient....I know that it can be very tough. ((hugs))

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It is entirely appropriate for you to attend the funeral and personally extend your condolences. I have attended a few graveside services of patients, and the family has always been extremely appreciative. It simply shows that you care.

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It sounds like a great idea for you to attend the service. Providing the service times and details appears that the family wants your agencies support. The family will be appreciative and know that you did all that you could to save their child.

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Pass agencies and managers used to say its inappropiate but they really never gave me the reason why,esp at the nursing homes. I think what's really getting to me is the fact she was a baby,and most of her life was spent on vents and feeding tubes. What are some other ways I could show condolescenes though? I can send a card but what else can I do?

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Specializes in school RN, CNA Instructor, M/S.

babylinq.com is a website with multiple links concerning the ways to support a family going thru the loss of a child. I hope this helps. I will keepyou and the family in our prayers at home.

"God bless the little children. Let them come unto Me"

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Pass agencies and managers used to say its inappropiate but they really never gave me the reason why,esp at the nursing homes. I think what's really getting to me is the fact she was a baby,and most of her life was spent on vents and feeding tubes. What are some other ways I could show condolescenes though? I can send a card but what else can I do?

This is a great show of support for the family, but it's also a means to an end for you. You spent a lot of time with the baby, and this is your chance to say your goodbyes and sever the caregiver bond you developed with her and her family. I hope that your agency is remains in the parents' life with grief counseling and the like, but here is where your part as caregiver ends (of course, you and the parents may stay in touch as friends).

During years of working long term care, we were encouraged to go to our residents' funerals whenever we could. It was a chance to see their families one last time, and a chance to close once and for all. LTC administrators often go to residents' funerals, for both business and personal reasons. These are patients and families we get close to, and it's important to say goodbye.

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Specializes in Critical Care/Coronary Care Unit,.

Nothing wrong with you attending the funeral. It shows your support for the family and will also help you in your own grieving process.

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

When my mother's Hospice nurse attended her funeral, I thought that was the most caring, most moving and most giving thing I have ever seen a medical professional do. It moved all of us, and we have never EVER forgotten this gesture from her. It meant a great deal to all of us.

I think it would be a great idea for you to go, although the fact that you are grappling with the professionalism of doing so makes me know that you are a top notch nurse. I think the family would be glad that you are there.

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Specializes in LTC, med/surg, hospice.

I think it is appropriate especially since it was a private duty case.

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I would go because it's your last goodbye and for your own emotional closure you should do this.

Poor wee thing :(... Life can be so cruel.

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I also support you attending the funeral. When I found out that one of my previous babies had passed I was upset that the agency had not informed me. I am certain the family would not have minded me attending the services and I would have wanted to do so. Perhaps you could make a donation in the name of the baby. Contact the funeral home to find out if any organizations have been designated to receive donations.

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