STUPID PARENTS!! (vent here) - page 4
This may not belong in this forum but it will have nursing issues involved. On October 30th my 9yo child was ran down by another child on his mountain bike. I say ran down because this is what he... Read More
Dec 19, '06Joined: Nov '05; Posts: 574; Likes: 445Quote from gauge14ivExcellent advice. Thanks for sharing it with us.It sounds like the only thing you can do is let go of it. I know that sounds awful but let me explain...
Years ago I was hit head on - 70 mph by a drunk driver without insurance. I was severely injured, my car was a total loss. I wasted a lot of time and energy being an angry person about it. In fact I was so focused on being angry that it took the focus OFF of what was really important to me - the fact that I was still alive, still had my wonderful family and and my (at the time) new nursing career I had worked so hard for! That anger became a driving force in everything I did. It ate me alive, and ultimately, in many ways it ate my children and my marriage and a couple of jobs.
It took me until years later to look back and see that the anger had been extremely counterproductive for me and the people I loved. While I can't say I forgive the guy who hit me that night - I can say that it doesn't matter. It just doesn't. In the overall scheme of life, it was an event, but it's over. I choose not to lose anymore sleep over the fact that I have a judgement against him for over half a mil I will never see a dime of, that he has been in and out of prison on multiple felonies including indecency with a child...He has done more damage to his life with that wreck then he did to mine. His revenge will be his own.
And so will this boys. Maybe not now, and maybe not soon, but you can bet that if this boy is doing things like this now, he and his family will know much suffering later.
You on the other hand have your sweet daughter to hug and comfort and teach forgiveness to. Money is just money. it comes and goes like water. Sometimes you have a little and sometimes you have a lot, but the harder you hang on to it, the more likely it is to slip away. It certainly isnt worth losing your sleep and sanity over.
Take gauge14iv's advice and run with it. Nothing teaches a child how to handle problems more then a parent's example.
.Last edit by blueyesue on Dec 19, '06
Dec 19, '06Joined: Apr '03; Posts: 7,569; Likes: 2,297Quote from justjennyYes, you can. You can't fault a small child, but you can certainly fault a 9 year old. He was old enough to know better, old enough to commit malicious acts, and old enough to know what "NO!" means.Wow. Where to begin......
I am very sorry to hear of this very painful situation for you and your daughter. I can't imagine how difficult this must be.
Now, with that said...I am SHOCKED by the posts in this thread! We are talking about CHILDREN here! YES, this boy was very, very much in the wrong...but I can remember plenty of times as a child doing bad things and making the wrong choices....but for goodness sake you can't fault a CHILD!
Dec 19, '06Specialty: 2 year(s) of experience ; Joined: Oct '06; Posts: 31Justjenny someone has to pay for the bills and being the mother to a seven year old boy and five year old girl I know that had it been my son I would have paid the bills and offered a sincere apology and he would have been severly punished, and if had been my daughter the other parents would have paid or been sued. If someone is going to go "bankrupt" it should not be the parent's of the child who was injured.
Dec 19, '06Joined: Oct '00; Posts: 8,764; Likes: 8,498Did you report to DHS that the child was unsupervised and out of control?
My sympathy regarding the lack of recourse, sometimes the only sane thing (and the hardest thing) to do is to let it go by.
Dec 19, '06Specialty: NICU- now learning OR! ; Joined: Dec '03; Posts: 275; Likes: 16Quote from savedbutterflyThanks for your reply. I agree with you....but the people posting how they would punish their child, etc. have children who do not do such horrible things. Clearly you are a positive role model for your children! :spin:Justjenny someone has to pay for the bills and being the mother to a seven year old boy and five year old girl I know that had it been my son I would have paid the bills and offered a sincere apology and he would have been severly punished, and if had been my daughter the other parents would have paid or been sued. If someone is going to go "bankrupt" it should not be the parent's of the child who was injured.
As mentioned, children learn by example - good and bad. Clearly the OPs daughter can learn by an appropriate example and clearly the boys parents are teaching by poor choices/bad examples. I would be severely ticked off if this were my little girl, trust me! I would offer to pay medical bills, etc. if this were my little boy, and yes, he would be SO PUNISHED he wouldn't know what happened...clearly these other parents don't think the same way.
It is reasonable to go after the $1,000 due by law...some posts however have gone way past reasonable into very scary IMO (having another child beat up this child...?!?!?!?!? Talking about sticks, and guns and other types of violence...?!?!?!? Seriously??)
Go ahead and badger the media, the chief of police...whatever you want to do...but in the meantime that is NOT helping the little girl who was injured.
I was not meaning to be disrespectful when mentioning the OPs lack of insurance....but it is true that at least the financial aspect of this issue would be resolved and the OP could deal with the emotional aspect on the daughter.
Again, I am shocked by the flames and angry words on this thread....I thought posting on allnurses was something I could do without judgement...guess not.
Dec 19, '06Joined: Oct '05; Posts: 91; Likes: 54that boy needs a taste of his own medicine. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. if the parents of this girl let it go, what is that boy going to do to their child next? If you do not like the punishment/consequences do not do the crime (regardless of age).Last edit by smurfy on Dec 19, '06
Dec 19, '06Joined: Apr '03; Posts: 7,569; Likes: 2,297The comments about the sticks, etc, were said tongue in cheek. Lighten up.
Dec 19, '06Occupation: midwife practitioner Specialty: 12 year(s) of experience in midwifery, NICU ; From: SC ; Joined: May '05; Posts: 1,742; Likes: 569Quote from TazziRN:angryfire agree totally, he knew what he was up to and is old enough to comprehend that there will be a bad outcome to his actions! Little s**t!! But the thread here is Stupid Parents, WHERE ARE THEY HERE? They obviously either think that their little darling can do no wrong, either that or they can't be bothered to give a s**t! makes me sooo mad, that these scumbags will let their son away with hurting a little girl to that extent! happens the world over though whether your'e in the U.S or the U.K, there are folks who just can't handle being responsible for their offspring and should never be parents!! baseball bat to them would be my first reaction, although I know this is wrong, and as they say, TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT!! You obviously are a stronger & better family than they are, justice will come to them one day, I'm sure! Meantime, give love and hugs to your precious wee girlie, tell her that people in Scotland are praying that she feels better soon, and that I'm sure Santa will remember her!. STAY STRONG!umpiron:Yes, you can. You can't fault a small child, but you can certainly fault a 9 year old. He was old enough to know better, old enough to commit malicious acts, and old enough to know what "NO!" means.
Dec 19, '06Joined: Sep '06; Posts: 121; Likes: 27To all that have replied., I thank you. I will do all that is possible to see that this child learns his lesson, my DD will be fine and we will get through all the money issues eventually. I just needed to vent some of this out of my system---this seemed like a good way. I will most likley attempt to speak with the childs parents again, I hope to keep a level head when doing so--we'll see. I will be contacting the police again but will do no good at all. Just very frutrated. As to the poster that said something about me not having health insurance---please re-read my OP. Health insurance or bills--HMMMMMM....
Thanks again all.
Dec 19, '06Occupation: ED RN Specialty: Tele m/s, new to ED ; Joined: Jan '06; Posts: 60; Likes: 10$1,0000. Hmmm. I hate to bring this up, but...how does this relate to malpractice limitation? Would a million dollars have made it up to your daughter? Never. While I like the idea of your 12 year old taking care of business (boys being boys, wink wink), it probably is best to turn the other cheek, and get a big dog.
Dec 19, '06Occupation: RN Primary Care office Specialty: 12 year(s) of experience in ICU, ER, Surgery, Med-Surg, Pediatrics ; Joined: Dec '06; Posts: 24; Likes: 12I have a friend whose dog was shot with a BB gun by his neighbors 9 year old son. John went to the family and their answer "boys will be boys." John, being the patient person he was, noticed the boy loved to play in the backyard with his dog. John collected seeds for poison ivy and spread it on their lawn after they applied their spring fertilizer. By the end of the summer there was a raging case of the itchies next door.
Sometimes paybacks are a lot sweeter in the silence.
Good luck with little Damien down the street. It would be a shame if he lost that little bike of his.
Dec 19, '06Occupation: OHN Specialty: 2 year(s) of experience in Tele, infectious disease, new OHN!! ; Joined: Jan '05; Posts: 306; Likes: 106I am so sorry that happened to your daughter. What a brat! I agree with you that the law is woeful in this situation. I wish I had something constructive to say but I wanted you to know you are right and this is wrong, wrong, wrong!!