Mom Passed - page 2

About this time two years ago I shared the adventure that was moving my mom from her home into a memory care facility. Last night at around 10pm she passed away. Still not quite sure how I feel... Read More

  1. by   KatieMI
    No words. Just (((prayers and gentle hugs))) for both of you
  2. by   NurseCard
    Hppy and sevensonnets, I am sorry for the loss of your loved ones...
  3. by   NightNerd
    I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is difficilt no matter what the relationship has looked like. I wish you peace and comfort during this time. *hugs*
  4. by   Ambersmom
    Sorry for your loss, allow yourself to grieve, even if your feelings are mixed.
  5. by   Here.I.Stand
    ((((Hppy)))) and ((((sevensonnets)))) I'm so sorry for both of your losses. Take care of yourselves
  6. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    I had a difficult relationship with my parents but that sure didn't make losing them any easier. I'm sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself and whatever memories you make have try to look at them in the light of the fact that we are all very human with flaws that doesn't make us incapable of granting or accepting forgiveness. Be well
  7. by   MHDNURSE
    I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my dad 5 weeks ago pretty unexpectedly. He and I had a very loving, healthy relationship. While most people would think that would make his moss much harder, the one thing that has helped is knowing we had no "unfinished business" if that makes sense. There was nothing left unsaid, no anger, resentment, etc. I am just terribly sad he is gone. No guilt, no anger, no other feelings. Just a profound sadness that he is no longer in my world.

    My mother and I on the other hand, have a fairly difficult relationship and I often think about what it would have been like if it had been her instead of my dad. I realize that the grieving process would look very different in that case. It has actually made me want to work on forgiving some of her transgressions towards me and figure out a way to get to a healthier place with her before it is too late.

    I guess my point for telling you all of this is that losing a parent is hard, no matter the relationship you have, because it brings up a host of emotions. I hope you are able to navigate through this without too much pain and difficulty. You are in my thoughts.
  8. by   BCgradnurse
    Hppy and sevensonnets-

    My condolences on your losses. I hope that you both find peace and comfort within yourselves, and from the love of family and friends.
  9. by   evastone
    So sorry for your loss. I hope you find the comfort and strength you need to move on.
  10. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from hppygr8ful
    About this time two years ago I shared the adventure that was moving my mom from her home into a memory care facility. Last night at around 10pm she passed away. Still not quite sure how I feel today. We were not close and she did a lot of terrible things to us kids but she did raise 6 children none of whom went to prison so I guess that's something.

    I'm so sorry.

    You may not know how you feel right away, but your feelings will probably clarify themselves as you move through the ritual of funeral, graveside services, writing thank you cards, donating the money you are given in her honor. If not, you will figure it out in your own time.

    My mother had Alzheimer's and spent six and a half years in an ALF, progressing to memory care. It was a blessing for me that there are wonderful nurses who want to work in those areas -- I knew from the three weeks I tried to care for her in her home that I just couldn't manage it. Mom and I weren't close until she went into the ALF. She always favored my sister and did some really awful things to me. At her funeral, my husband asked me to relate a good memory of my mother from my childhood, and I couldn't think of one. Nearly three years later, I still can't. But I had some good memories of her after I was an adult. Her death allowed me to see her as she was in those good memories rather than as the person who was verbally and physically abusive to me as a child or the person who turned hateful and mean to everyone as her disease progressed.

    Hopefully, you will have some closure now. I'll be thinking of you and sending good vibes.
  11. by   dianah
    ((((( happy )))))))) (((((((( sevensonnets )))))))
  12. by   kbrn2002
    I am so sorry for your losses, both Happy and sevensonnets. Losing a parent is never an easy thing. It's even more complicated when your relationship with that parent was a difficult one. Forgive yourself for the mixed emotions.
  13. by   NutmeggeRN
    A long time ago I learned that feelinga are not right, or wrong, they just are.

    How we work through them is another story! I wish you peace and comfort.