I want to quit nursing.

[Nomad_Nurse1]

This is my first submission to allnurses and I regret starting out on such a negative note. I joined this website to prove to myself that I'm not alone, that there are other nurses who share my feelings, so I simply need to put my thoughts out there. What I am about to say is something that I say to my husband on a weekly basis, if not more. Love his heart, he does his best to convince me that what I'm feeling is valid but he can't understand. He isn't a woman but more importantly, he isn't a nurse.

I graduated roughly one year ago with my BSN. At the time I was a nurse intern (basically a CNA) in a very large ICU. I really enjoyed that job, and loved taking care of critically ill patients. At the same time I was working in the ICU, I was doing my nursing school senior practicum in the intensive treatment unit at an inpatient psych hospital because I had always been fascinated with psych. My preceptor was amazing, the manager was great, and the staff morale was exceptional. I applied to and received job offers from both units upon graduating nursing school. I solicited advice from every nurse I came across at both facilities, and after much consideration I decided on the ICU position. Six months in, I detested it.

It wasn't the job I hated, it was the staff and the manager. The infamous nurse predators that "eat their young" had reared their ugly heads and I felt defeated, stupid, and hopeless after every shift. I felt like I was in high school all over again with the gossip, cliques, and passive aggressiveness. There were countless times that I walked into the break room only to find my MANAGER along with several members of the "in crowd" sitting around the table giggling to themselves. Which of course stopped the second I intruded. On top of all of that, I was put on nights, which contributed too a spell of deep depression and poor health. I left that position and didn't work for two months.

Luckily my husband is a saint and knows that his wife is a delicate flower (haha) so we lived off of his income for those two months. Finally, I was done feeling sorry for myself and applied to the psych hospital I had done my practicum at. Thank goodness, I was welcomed back with open arms.

Now I am six months in to that position and am already considering leaving. We have a different manger(that has never worked psych, mind you) and the staff morale that once felt like family has never been lower. I feel completely taken advantage of by my manager in regards to scheduling and working over time. I never see my husband because she refuses to give me some flexibility to align my schedule with his. I have begged over and over to again to go part-time or even PRN. I just feel so exhausted and OVER nursing as a whole. I'm over it, and I can't tell if I have a bad habit of playing the victim or if both job situations have just been unfortunate circumstances. I need your advice, as outsiders to my life, and as fellow nurses. Do I suck it up or leave yet another job after only six months? Honestly I feel like calling it quits altogether sometimes. I daydream of working in a bakery or doing photograohy or tasting wine for a living. Is nursing really all that bad or is there just an adjustment period?

[LDAthleteNurse, BSN, RN]

Hello! Thank you for sharing your experience. I am sorry to read that you are having such a tough time.

However, I feel that you should stick it out because of you run from yet another situation just because it's tough, then you will create a bad habit of running from your problems instead of facing them head on. You have to weather the storm. It will get better. You don't want to be a quitter your whole life. I say stick it out..

As far as the work place cattiness, you Def gotta learn to Bob and weave the drama. Most nurses who eat their young do so out of jealousy and insecurity. ALSO, no one can make you feel less than if you don't allow them too. Ignore ignorance and pray for them. If you can remember that hurt people tend to hurt people that will allow you to look at their mean-spirit and negative vibes from a place of empathy. Just keep in mind: it could be worse, you could be them.

I hope this helps. Best of luck to you!

[nutella, MSN, RN]

There can be a lot of drama in nursing....

You have to grow a somewhat thick skin and learn to ignore what feels "personal" to you. There will always be people who talk about you (good or bad), you might not be friends with everybody, you may have a manager who sucks...

Having said that - you want your work life be somewhat compatible with your private life. Perhaps going from ICU to psych was a big jump to begin with.

Perhaps part time is a better fit for you. You can always look around for another job but I would say to keep this job while looking around. It is much easier to find a new job while you are employed .

[calivianya, BSN, RN]

I don't think you're necessarily thin-skinned or playing the victim, but this sort of treatment is rampant in nursing from my personal experience.

Sometimes it does get better. After you've been at a place a year or so, management and the catty people tend to find someone else to laugh at. I feel like it took about a year and a half to get treated decently by a certain group of veteran employees at my full time job. A lot of the time, if you stick around long enough, they will eventually start tolerating you.

However, I really don't think this is acceptable behavior from adults at all and I'm extremely disappointed this is what nursing has turned out to be, so I wouldn't blame you for leaving the profession if this sort of childish behavior isn't your cup of tea.

[martymoose, BSN, RN]

its the nursing. I guess I would still try to look somewhere else, maybe after I had more time put in, like a year.

I am with you also on the other type of job thing. The other day I actually had a dream I went into food service. weird dream. But Obviously this is wearing on me even in my sleep ( sleep? what's that?)

I feel any other nursing job will be the same. It seems the PTB hire managers who specifically stir the pot. It sucks.

Good luck anyway.

[Mr. Murse]

I don't mean this condescendingly, but I'm curious how old you are and what job experience you had prior to nursing.

I say this because I noticed your complaints were about issues that are present in many, many jobs and are not exclusive to nursing. Pettiness, gossip, poor management, etc.......that's just stuff that comes with life and working with a variety of people.

Granted, nursing has a way of boiling up these situations seemingly more frequently than other careers, but you will not be immune to pettiness and BS just by getting out of nursing. I've noticed a lot of young nurses who haven't worked many (or any) other "real" jobs attribute many of their dissatisfactions specifically to nursing when in fact the things they're not happy with are problems you will find in any work environment. But this may not be your situation.

Given I don't know you and your situation any better, it's hard to determine if you need to "just grow a pair" or leave the stupid job because there are definitely toxic nursing environments out there and good ones too. But if you're looking for a perfect job that works with your personal needs and is exempt from human pettiness then a job and/or career change is probably not going to help you.

[wannabeny]

I would say stick it out. I feel like the issues you're having, apart from scheduling conflicts, you will find at any job/workplace.

The schedule you have now, are those the hours you agreed to when you took the job? Or did they change with the arrival of this new manager? How do you feel taken advantage of with overtime and scheduling specifically?

[RNperdiem, RN]

I would suggest you stay for now. As another poster pointed out, office politics exist everywhere, not just nursing. Learn to stay out of the drama, be very selective about how much you reveal about your personal life at work, maintain a pleasant face and be polite.

Being a new nurse is tough. But as you gain experience and confidence in your abilities, the opinions of you coworkers matter less, and you become less sensitive and fragile.

I would also recommend building up and maintaining a satisfying life outside of work. The happiest nurses, I find, do not depend on their work as their sole source of self-worth and meaning.

[LDAthleteNurse, BSN, RN]

I would suggest you stay for now. As another poster pointed out, office politics exist everywhere, not just nursing. Learn to stay out of the drama, be very selective about how much you reveal about your personal life at work, maintain a pleasant face and be polite.

Being a new nurse is tough. But as you gain experience and confidence in your abilities, the opinions of you coworkers matter less, and you become less sensitive and fragile.

I would also recommend building up and maintaining a satisfying life outside of work. The happiest nurses, I find, do not depend on their work as their sole source of self-worth and meaning.

I don't mean this condescendingly, but I'm curious how old you are and what job experience you had prior to nursing.

I say this because I noticed your complaints were about issues that are present in many, many jobs and are not exclusive to nursing. Pettiness, gossip, poor management, etc.......that's just stuff that comes with life and working with a variety of people.

Granted, nursing has a way of boiling up these situations seemingly more frequently than other careers, but you will not be immune to pettiness and BS just by getting out of nursing. I've noticed a lot of young nurses who haven't worked many (or any) other "real" jobs attribute many of their dissatisfactions specifically to nursing when in fact the things they're not happy with are problems you will find in any work environment. But this may not be your situation.

Given I don't know you and your situation any better, it's hard to determine if you need to "just grow a pair" or leave the stupid job because there are definitely toxic nursing environments out there and good ones too. But if you're looking for a perfect job that works with your personal needs and is exempt from human pettiness then a job and/or career change is probably not going to help you.

OP, this is excellent advice!

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

I agree with Mr. Murse. It sounds like nursing and the intern position leading up to being a nurse were your first experiences with working. I have no idea if that is true but, if it is, this is very very VERY common a complaint to your generation. I do not mean that condescendingly and I plead with you not to take offense by it. Every single job in the universe has pettiness somewhere, bad people somewhere, bad assignments, exhaustion, burnout and the like. Nursing has the added "benefit" of too much personal liability.

I think you stick with it and start looking around for other options in the nursing field. I just left the bedside and I can tell you, it is a whole new world. If you are that miserable, accept lesser pay for a more satisfying position. You worked hard and presumably spent a lot of money on that BSN. Don't be so fast to pitch it out. There are tons and tons of other areas to explore.

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

Healthcare facilities have an obligation to the people they serve, so aligning your schedule to your husbands may not be doable no matter where you work. Can he align his schedule to yours? Not everyone gets to start on days, some places you just have to bite the bullet and do your time until day shift is available. Remember, no employer, nursing or otherwise, is required to meet your needs. As an employee , we are there to meet theirs. Sad truth, but it's reality

[xoemmylouox, ASN, RN]

Maybe you would feel better in an outpt setting that has a different set of duties? You will find the obnoxious staff and rude managers everywhere you go. Typically you work 8-10 hour shifts instead of 12-14hr shifts so you might be able to see your hubby more?