This is my first submission to allnurses and I regret starting out on such a negative note. I joined this website to prove to myself that I'm not alone, that there are other nurses who share my feelings, so I simply need to put my thoughts out there. What I am about to say is something that I say to my husband on a weekly basis, if not more. Love his heart, he does his best to convince me that what I'm feeling is valid but he can't understand. He isn't a woman but more importantly, he isn't a nurse.
I graduated roughly one year ago with my BSN. At the time I was a nurse intern (basically a CNA) in a very large ICU. I really enjoyed that job, and loved taking care of critically ill patients. At the same time I was working in the ICU, I was doing my nursing school senior practicum in the intensive treatment unit at an inpatient psych hospital because I had always been fascinated with psych. My preceptor was amazing, the manager was great, and the staff morale was exceptional. I applied to and received job offers from both units upon graduating nursing school. I solicited advice from every nurse I came across at both facilities, and after much consideration I decided on the ICU position. Six months in, I detested it.
It wasn't the job I hated, it was the staff and the manager. The infamous nurse predators that "eat their young" had reared their ugly heads and I felt defeated, stupid, and hopeless after every shift. I felt like I was in high school all over again with the gossip, cliques, and passive aggressiveness. There were countless times that I walked into the break room only to find my MANAGER along with several members of the "in crowd" sitting around the table giggling to themselves. Which of course stopped the second I intruded. On top of all of that, I was put on nights, which contributed too a spell of deep depression and poor health. I left that position and didn't work for two months.
Luckily my husband is a saint and knows that his wife is a delicate flower (haha) so we lived off of his income for those two months. Finally, I was done feeling sorry for myself and applied to the psych hospital I had done my practicum at. Thank goodness, I was welcomed back with open arms.
Now I am six months in to that position and am already considering leaving. We have a different manger(that has never worked psych, mind you) and the staff morale that once felt like family has never been lower. I feel completely taken advantage of by my manager in regards to scheduling and working over time. I never see my husband because she refuses to give me some flexibility to align my schedule with his. I have begged over and over to again to go part-time or even PRN. I just feel so exhausted and OVER nursing as a whole. I'm over it, and I can't tell if I have a bad habit of playing the victim or if both job situations have just been unfortunate circumstances. I need your advice, as outsiders to my life, and as fellow nurses. Do I suck it up or leave yet another job after only six months? Honestly I feel like calling it quits altogether sometimes. I daydream of working in a bakery or doing photograohy or tasting wine for a living. Is nursing really all that bad or is there just an adjustment period?
i've been through admin after admin. they are all nuts in my opinion. you have to do what is best for you and your life, because they don't care, they are a dime a dozen. if being a nurse is in your heart... you'll find your fit.
OK, so it's hard, but my best advice is to follow your gut. Keep in mind, though, the grass is not always greener on the otherside. Who is to say that, if you switch to photography or something, that it's just all going to be roses and sunshine. I will tell you this; nursing is a challenge and it will test you on all levels. At the end of the day it's about the patient and not you. No matter what career you pursue there will always be distractions around you; drama, cattiness, etc, but in nursing you need to keep your focus on the patients and not what is going on around you. If you feel that you have something to offer patients and their families and enough to make a difference then stay in nursing, but stay focused. If not, and you cannot stay focused on what you are there for, which is taking care of the patients and giving excellent care, then you should try another career. I totally get how you feel. I personally hate nursing and all things associated with it, but I was one who said; "I'll just stick it out. Maybe it will get better." and it never did get better. I really hate my job and my work life, but, again, thoses moments of taking care of someone and realizing how much that means to them are good moments, so it's all not bad.
Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.
A lot of jobs suck, but you need to stick it out long enough so that you don't look like a job hopper which makes it very hard to get hire after 3 jobs or so. It may suck, but it will be worth it in the end. Sometimes all you can do is endure and know it will get better eventually.
Specializes in Renal Medical/Surgical/Hemodialysis.
You are as normal as 40-50% of nurses in todays generation who wanted to get out of this trap. Most Nurses nowadays are entering the profession thinking it is a glamorous work. The candle lights of caring from the time of Florence Nightingale has been extinguished when caring became commercialized. When the reality of ***** hits you in the face...insensitive team, unfair corporate managers, ungrateful load of people, the ****** pay, the inhumane treatment by relatives and even patients who thinks nurses are glorified housemaids, those relatives who stand and watch you follow their orders like they bought your soul, hotel attendants are better respected than us nurses...I have been in Renal Nursing for 18 out of my 20 years and by God I loathe every single moment just thinking how ungrateful people, both patients and relatives are. If I could quote those that are genuinely nice, I could count them on my fingers (maybe multiple times though).
so my advise to you is...YES ...by all means leave and find a rewarding job and do not be victimized by NURSING...its a god forsaken profession and its full of awful young kids that becomes managers after 2 years of practice just because she luckily had an a higher academic results, but would not even get herself close to a commode as if she is exempted from the real world of nursing. There are other jobs out there that can make you live a rewarding family life and not be bullied and turned into a sociopath.
After Being mistreated for 20 years, I am now on my way out because of physical injury caused by years of moving patients, with no support from management or administration because all they care about is profit and not to be brought out to the media. When you are old and worn out, you are on your own.
In shout Nurses are expendable !!! The corporate institution has washed their hands off responsibility simply by saying that they implemented manual handling training, but no one implemented training and proper handling of Large Dialysis Machines. DUH !!! ... nonetheless, my advice to you is get out while you are physically able...Nursing will break you both mentally and physically. Those that made it to the top are the PREDATORS I'm talking about. They are the ambitious no goods that thought they know more after 2 years of practice...then **** up the whole procedure of caring in the process because all they care about are the lies and numbers that appears in their corporate report rather than the real situations in the Frontline.
I have told my children to never ever get their hands in the caring business as it is no longer the case...Nursing is a punishment and it will only get worse as days comes as people get less respectful of what used to be the caring profession.
Wow, it's been so long since this thread has been active! Thanks for your comment and encouragement. I am so sorry to hear about your injury and your horrific experience! Nursing is rough. I stuck it out in my job and am now in a leadership position. But I am also in graduate school to be a PMHNP. I think that route may be better suited for me. I hope you heal quickly and find something you love.
I had a similar experience and had to go PRN for a while, that really helped since it gave me control and I chose the least amount of days to commit to. It took 1 1/2 years to get over the toll that the toxic acute care environment did to me- not the patient care or the doctor, but working with toxic nurses and having to take reprimands over HCAPS scores- we even had a coach come in and watch us do customer service and give us a script and then complain if we went off the script and YES they went into the patient's room with us! crazy, all while we were overworked and understaffed daily. I wont tolerate BS anymore or being bullied by nurses with managers who do nothing except say "you know how women are". Sorry to rant, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I think the KEY is finding a great unit to work on and it doesn't matter the specialty---I used to think the opposite was what really mattered. I was ready to take a job doing school portraits instead of nursing. Do what feels right to you!
but more importantly, he isn't a nurse. 
terri visco
20 Posts
i've been through admin after admin. they are all nuts in my opinion. you have to do what is best for you and your life, because they don't care, they are a dime a dozen. if being a nurse is in your heart... you'll find your fit.