This is my first submission to allnurses and I regret starting out on such a negative note. I joined this website to prove to myself that I'm not alone, that there are other nurses who share my feelings, so I simply need to put my thoughts out there. What I am about to say is something that I say to my husband on a weekly basis, if not more. Love his heart, he does his best to convince me that what I'm feeling is valid but he can't understand. He isn't a woman but more importantly, he isn't a nurse.
I graduated roughly one year ago with my BSN. At the time I was a nurse intern (basically a CNA) in a very large ICU. I really enjoyed that job, and loved taking care of critically ill patients. At the same time I was working in the ICU, I was doing my nursing school senior practicum in the intensive treatment unit at an inpatient psych hospital because I had always been fascinated with psych. My preceptor was amazing, the manager was great, and the staff morale was exceptional. I applied to and received job offers from both units upon graduating nursing school. I solicited advice from every nurse I came across at both facilities, and after much consideration I decided on the ICU position. Six months in, I detested it.
It wasn't the job I hated, it was the staff and the manager. The infamous nurse predators that "eat their young" had reared their ugly heads and I felt defeated, stupid, and hopeless after every shift. I felt like I was in high school all over again with the gossip, cliques, and passive aggressiveness. There were countless times that I walked into the break room only to find my MANAGER along with several members of the "in crowd" sitting around the table giggling to themselves. Which of course stopped the second I intruded. On top of all of that, I was put on nights, which contributed too a spell of deep depression and poor health. I left that position and didn't work for two months.
Luckily my husband is a saint and knows that his wife is a delicate flower (haha) so we lived off of his income for those two months. Finally, I was done feeling sorry for myself and applied to the psych hospital I had done my practicum at. Thank goodness, I was welcomed back with open arms.
Now I am six months in to that position and am already considering leaving. We have a different manger(that has never worked psych, mind you) and the staff morale that once felt like family has never been lower. I feel completely taken advantage of by my manager in regards to scheduling and working over time. I never see my husband because she refuses to give me some flexibility to align my schedule with his. I have begged over and over to again to go part-time or even PRN. I just feel so exhausted and OVER nursing as a whole. I'm over it, and I can't tell if I have a bad habit of playing the victim or if both job situations have just been unfortunate circumstances. I need your advice, as outsiders to my life, and as fellow nurses. Do I suck it up or leave yet another job after only six months? Honestly I feel like calling it quits altogether sometimes. I daydream of working in a bakery or doing photograohy or tasting wine for a living. Is nursing really all that bad or is there just an adjustment period?
So now you will resort to being rude to others bc they told you the truth? I'm not sure what world you are living in, but here in reality, especially nursing, can one better themselves without criticism from others. If you don't want to hear the truth, or are only interested in opinions that agree with you, then don't post on an Internet forum. Like I said earlier, you must be young. Perhaps your husband can offer you advice more along what you hope to hear.
Not sure she was being rude - I didn't get that vibe. I think she was being authentically grateful for the tough love. But that's just me.
Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.
If you had no safety net,as in your husband taking over and paying all the bills,would you be doing the same thing or would get tough and accept the challenges that come with earning a living. Let me tell you that the problems never stop. There will always be coworkers and bosses that you do not like. There will always be times that you do not get the schedule you want.There will always be days and weeks that just suck.
You have to pick your battles too and know what you need to brush off and what you need to take on. It's like a roller coaster ride and you better learn how to hang on and stop daydreaming or you will not make it anywhere! Except it be difficult and rise above it and practice having some gratitude and bring something to the table besides complaining about what you did not get. You have a job and agreed to its terms and you do the required work and in turn they pay you. It's hard work and not glamorous but I am grateful for what the profession has provided me and grateful for the fact that I have nurses to help me when I needed them.
If you had no safety net,as in your husband taking over and paying all the bills,would you be doing the same thing or would get tough and accept the challenges that come with earning a living. Let me tell you that the problems never stop. There will always be coworkers and bosses that you do not like. There will always be times that you do not get the schedule you want.There will always be days and weeks that just suck.
You have to pick your battles too and know what you need to brush off and what you need to take on. It's like a roller coaster ride and you better learn how to hang on and stop daydreaming or you will not make it anywhere! Except it be difficult and rise above it and practice having some gratitude and bring something to the table besides complaining about what you did not get. You have a job and agreed to its terms and you do the required work and in turn they pay you. It's hard work and not glamorous but I am grateful for what the profession has provided me and grateful for the fact that I have nurses to help me when I needed them.
I think having this attitude with the safety net is the perfect combo, tenacious but having the security and confidence that you'll never feel like you have to tolerate true abuse.
It appears to me that you love the actual nursing aspect of the job.. Caring for people, your job duties, etc
And it seems that what you don't like, is the stuff that has nothing to directly do with patient care. Like the cattiness and stuff.
From one new nurse to another I have experienced what you are going through and it sucks. We're already nervous, anxious, adapting, transitioning.. And overwhelmed! And add bad attitudes of coworkers and unfair hours to that.. That would make anyone wanna leave! I really understand why you feel this way.
BUT! Please stick it out at least a little while longer. Things won't always be like this! You'll get more experience and better hours.. You'll eventually just brush those catty (b-words) off your back! Don't give those fools the time of day! Once you are more seasoned, they'll find someone else to pick on.. And when that happens just remember where you were at. Be the nurse you wanna see others be like! :)
Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.
Yes certain things get easier. You may even get long stretches of time when things are going smoothly but keep in mind the one truism about life,"Things are always changing". Bosses leave and new ones come in,coworkers leave and new troublesome ones may take their place,workplace expectations and rules change constantly and as all this is happening things are changing in your personal life and you must still go in and do your work!
I can tell you that after working for 35 years is about learning to problem solve,adjust to and adapt to the things that are you encounter and experiencing. I had no backup throughout my adult life money wise. If I had a problem at work I had to solve it so I could keep the funds coming in an meet my commitments. So expect there will always be things to deal with and make a strong commitment that you can and will cope.
I can sense your determination in getting everything done in the way you wanted it to be. You're very lucky coz the job inclined to your career is knocking towards you, and i guess you just have to remember a few words of wisdom: Not all in life is fair.... And, with the experience you shared with us, i think it's just part of the process of preparing you into becoming the best nurse you will be. Alot of windows are still open, so don't lose hope. These people around you, specially on this site are also doing the best that they can to reach their goals. You should, too. :) :) :)
As a new Nurse, I was subject to the 'eat their own' affect. I toughened up my skin and made it. As a seasoned Nurse I started a new trend, remembering what that felt like; mentoring. Apples and oranges, what a difference it made! Less turnover making my job a whole lot easier. The more staff we had the more work I would get done. With management skimming on staff as it is, as Nurses we might want to take a more positive approach. We've all been there, learning the ropes!
Man, I wish I knew wine tasting was a job- I've been putting out my own money all these years when I could be getting paid?
Two universal truths;
1. Life is not fair
2. Most people suck (PT's and co-workers) and if you are lucky enough you will find the small percentage of good ones (PT's and coworkers) that gives you support to push on through the bad ones.
I am also a new nurse in a new facility for about 6 months now. I feel your pain for I am very familiar with it. What keeps me going is, if I cannot control how they act, I do not care because I can control how I react. It might take time, but toxic coworkers eventually do not get rewards. And if you continue to feel miserable to the point it affects the quality of care you provide to your patients, seek out more areas in the fields. There's a bunch of whole new world in the healthcare system out there just waiting for you wherein eventually you will feel more fulfilled and happy. Note: We are very short of nurses, we sure will appreciate more extra hands for help.:)
I've worked in the service industry since I was 16. There are cliques everywhere. There are mean girls and guys everywhere. There are crappy managers everywhere. Sometimes, you just gotta keep your head down and deal with it. This is what I think a lot of people hate about new nurses sometimes. A lot of them come out of school with little to no experience in the workforce and expect more then it really is. This is why I tell everyone to get a part time job in college no matter whether they need it or not. At the very least you will pad your resume and it won't be such a culture shock. The work force is JUST like high school, but with adults. You will find that ignoring the drama and doing your job will do you wonders. If you don't see any improvement within a year... start looking for something else. Most employers will see the job hopping as a red flag and will assume you don't plan to stay if things get tough. Stick. It. Out.
but more importantly, he isn't a nurse. 
CamillusRN, BSN
434 Posts
Not sure she was being rude - I didn't get that vibe. I think she was being authentically grateful for the tough love. But that's just me.