This is my first submission to allnurses and I regret starting out on such a negative note. I joined this website to prove to myself that I'm not alone, that there are other nurses who share my feelings, so I simply need to put my thoughts out there. What I am about to say is something that I say to my husband on a weekly basis, if not more. Love his heart, he does his best to convince me that what I'm feeling is valid but he can't understand. He isn't a woman but more importantly, he isn't a nurse.
I graduated roughly one year ago with my BSN. At the time I was a nurse intern (basically a CNA) in a very large ICU. I really enjoyed that job, and loved taking care of critically ill patients. At the same time I was working in the ICU, I was doing my nursing school senior practicum in the intensive treatment unit at an inpatient psych hospital because I had always been fascinated with psych. My preceptor was amazing, the manager was great, and the staff morale was exceptional. I applied to and received job offers from both units upon graduating nursing school. I solicited advice from every nurse I came across at both facilities, and after much consideration I decided on the ICU position. Six months in, I detested it.
It wasn't the job I hated, it was the staff and the manager. The infamous nurse predators that "eat their young" had reared their ugly heads and I felt defeated, stupid, and hopeless after every shift. I felt like I was in high school all over again with the gossip, cliques, and passive aggressiveness. There were countless times that I walked into the break room only to find my MANAGER along with several members of the "in crowd" sitting around the table giggling to themselves. Which of course stopped the second I intruded. On top of all of that, I was put on nights, which contributed too a spell of deep depression and poor health. I left that position and didn't work for two months.
Luckily my husband is a saint and knows that his wife is a delicate flower (haha) so we lived off of his income for those two months. Finally, I was done feeling sorry for myself and applied to the psych hospital I had done my practicum at. Thank goodness, I was welcomed back with open arms.
Now I am six months in to that position and am already considering leaving. We have a different manger(that has never worked psych, mind you) and the staff morale that once felt like family has never been lower. I feel completely taken advantage of by my manager in regards to scheduling and working over time. I never see my husband because she refuses to give me some flexibility to align my schedule with his. I have begged over and over to again to go part-time or even PRN. I just feel so exhausted and OVER nursing as a whole. I'm over it, and I can't tell if I have a bad habit of playing the victim or if both job situations have just been unfortunate circumstances. I need your advice, as outsiders to my life, and as fellow nurses. Do I suck it up or leave yet another job after only six months? Honestly I feel like calling it quits altogether sometimes. I daydream of working in a bakery or doing photograohy or tasting wine for a living. Is nursing really all that bad or is there just an adjustment period?
I'm not ashamed of being sensitive. That's who I am, and I feel it allows me to connect with people in areas that others can't. One can be sensitive but also very strong.
Have you considered moving up to Canada? I hear that Canadians apologize for the mistakes of others AND give out free maple syrup.
Only drawback is living in igloos. Not sure a delicate flower would have a long shelf life in that environment.
I'm not ashamed of being sensitive. That's who I am, and I feel it allows me to connect with people in areas that others can't. One can be sensitive but also very strong.
Your theory is flawed- you obviously aren't connecting with the people you work with, at not one, but two jobs.
I'm not a nurse yet, I'll be taking boards in a month... But I feel like this can happen anywhere. I've been in the food bev industry since I began working 8 years ago, and these jobs are about as catty as they come. I think if you stick it out long enough so that you're no longer "new" there, you will gain a little more leniancy with your schedule, and be able to prove yourself to the immature ones on your floor. Keep your head up!
Bc there were lots of other comments- she went right for the most truthful that did not paint her in a positive light- her post is sarcastic.
I thought the OP meant her reply sincerely and was grateful? I didn't see the sarcasm. I thought she was being really open to constructive criticism which isn't an easy thing to do.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
So now you will resort to being rude to others bc they told you the truth? I'm not sure what world you are living in, but here in reality, especially nursing, can one better themselves without criticism from others. If you don't want to hear the truth, or are only interested in opinions that agree with you, then don't post on an Internet forum. Like I said earlier, you must be young. Perhaps your husband can offer you advice more along what you hope to hear.
Not sure as I don't know the OP but I think she might have been being sincere in her reply?
Not sure as I don't know the OP but I think she might have been being sincere in her reply?
That is the issue with responses- you can't be sure what context people are using nor their tone/reflection. I took it as OP being defensive. I haven't typically heard someone referred to as a "peach" in a serious manner, typically has a sarcastic under tone- but of course I could be wrong.
I'm from the south and in my experience... those statements are almost always backhanded compliments. Seems like you are playing the game just as much as they are.
I had to reread your post after reading all of the replies. From what I hear from you, I think you really do like your job, but you are just now experiencing that most of the problems in every work place involves figuring out how to work with and get along with coworkers, managers etc... It has taken me quite some time to accept the fact that no matter how pleasant, friendly, helpful etc.. you may be, there are going to be people you work with that for some reason do not like you or something about you. Sometimes it's jealousy, or feeling threatened or they themselves may feel inferior so they find someone (usually a sensitive person) who they can bully. It makes them feel more powerful because they probably don't feel to great about themselves and may have been bullied themselves. I know this because I am a sensitive person who can relate very well to patients putting them at ease. However this has make me an easy target for bullying. I have had to learn how to be more assertive and confront the situation or individual. Sometimes the best you can do is be respectful and keep everything strictly professional and trying to keep the emotional aspect out. Logically, I know that some people may never like you or accept you but it still hurts. But, I've found that it's a waste of time and energy trying to change the person, figure them out or make them like you.
Are there at least some coworkers that are friendly and supportive? If so, I would stay focused on my patients and the positive and supportive people. Every job is going to have negative aspects and people, but I think if you focus on the rewarding parts, you'll be able to manage better and feel more capable of figuring out where you think you will thrive.
I do have to add though, that I am really disappointed in the unnecessary and mean-spirited comments from some of the nurses on this forum. Part of being a nurse is having empathy and empowering others. Berating or belittling others, no matter how wrong you think they may be is just plain mean and gives a bad name to the profession.
but more importantly, he isn't a nurse. 
NOADLS
832 Posts
Have you considered moving up to Canada? I hear that Canadians apologize for the mistakes of others AND give out free maple syrup.
Only drawback is living in igloos. Not sure a delicate flower would have a long shelf life in that environment.