This is my first submission to allnurses and I regret starting out on such a negative note. I joined this website to prove to myself that I'm not alone, that there are other nurses who share my feelings, so I simply need to put my thoughts out there. What I am about to say is something that I say to my husband on a weekly basis, if not more. Love his heart, he does his best to convince me that what I'm feeling is valid but he can't understand. He isn't a woman but more importantly, he isn't a nurse.
I graduated roughly one year ago with my BSN. At the time I was a nurse intern (basically a CNA) in a very large ICU. I really enjoyed that job, and loved taking care of critically ill patients. At the same time I was working in the ICU, I was doing my nursing school senior practicum in the intensive treatment unit at an inpatient psych hospital because I had always been fascinated with psych. My preceptor was amazing, the manager was great, and the staff morale was exceptional. I applied to and received job offers from both units upon graduating nursing school. I solicited advice from every nurse I came across at both facilities, and after much consideration I decided on the ICU position. Six months in, I detested it.
It wasn't the job I hated, it was the staff and the manager. The infamous nurse predators that "eat their young" had reared their ugly heads and I felt defeated, stupid, and hopeless after every shift. I felt like I was in high school all over again with the gossip, cliques, and passive aggressiveness. There were countless times that I walked into the break room only to find my MANAGER along with several members of the "in crowd" sitting around the table giggling to themselves. Which of course stopped the second I intruded. On top of all of that, I was put on nights, which contributed too a spell of deep depression and poor health. I left that position and didn't work for two months.
Luckily my husband is a saint and knows that his wife is a delicate flower (haha) so we lived off of his income for those two months. Finally, I was done feeling sorry for myself and applied to the psych hospital I had done my practicum at. Thank goodness, I was welcomed back with open arms.
Now I am six months in to that position and am already considering leaving. We have a different manger(that has never worked psych, mind you) and the staff morale that once felt like family has never been lower. I feel completely taken advantage of by my manager in regards to scheduling and working over time. I never see my husband because she refuses to give me some flexibility to align my schedule with his. I have begged over and over to again to go part-time or even PRN. I just feel so exhausted and OVER nursing as a whole. I'm over it, and I can't tell if I have a bad habit of playing the victim or if both job situations have just been unfortunate circumstances. I need your advice, as outsiders to my life, and as fellow nurses. Do I suck it up or leave yet another job after only six months? Honestly I feel like calling it quits altogether sometimes. I daydream of working in a bakery or doing photograohy or tasting wine for a living. Is nursing really all that bad or is there just an adjustment period?
This is my first submission to allnurses and I regret starting out on such a negative note. I joined this website to prove to myself that I'm not alone, that there are other nurses who share my feelings, so I simply need to put my thoughts out there. What I am about to say is something that I say to my husband on a weekly basis, if not more. Love his heart, he does his best to convince me that what I'm feeling is valid but he can't understand. He isn't a woman but more importantly, he isn't a nurse. I graduated roughly one year ago with my BSN. At the time I was a nurse intern (basically a CNA) in a very large ICU. I really enjoyed that job, and loved taking care of critically ill patients. At the same time I was working in the ICU, I was doing my nursing school senior practicum in the intensive treatment unit at an inpatient psych hospital because I had always been fascinated with psych. My preceptor was amazing, the manager was great, and the staff morale was exceptional. I applied to and received job offers from both units upon graduating nursing school. I solicited advice from every nurse I came across at both facilities, and after much consideration I decided on the ICU position. Six months in, I detested it. It wasn't the job I hated, it was the staff and the manager. The infamous nurse predators that "eat their young" had reared their ugly heads and I felt defeated, stupid, and hopeless after every shift. I felt like I was in high school all over again with the gossip, cliques, and passive aggressiveness. There were countless times that I walked into the break room only to find my MANAGER along with several members of the "in crowd" sitting around the table giggling to themselves. Which of course stopped the second I intruded. On top of all of that, I was put on nights, which contributed too a spell of deep depression and poor health. I left that position and didn't work for two months. Luckily my husband is a saint and knows that his wife is a delicate flower (haha) so we lived off of his income for those two months. Finally, I was done feeling sorry for myself and applied to the psych hospital I had done my practicum at. Thank goodness, I was welcomed back with open arms. Now I am six months in to that position and am already considering leaving. We have a different manger(that has never worked psych, mind you) and the staff morale that once felt like family has never been lower. I feel completely taken advantage of by my manager in regards to scheduling and working over time. I never see my husband because she refuses to give me some flexibility to align my schedule with his. I have begged over and over to again to go part-time or even PRN. I just feel so exhausted and OVER nursing as a whole. I'm over it, and I can't tell if I have a bad habit of playing the victim or if both job situations have just been unfortunate circumstances. I need your advice, as outsiders to my life, and as fellow nurses. Do I suck it up or leave yet another job after only six months? Honestly I feel like calling it quits altogether sometimes. I daydream of working in a bakery or doing photograohy or tasting wine for a living. Is nursing really all that bad or is there just an adjustment period?
I believe this is something you're going to encounter in any area where people have developed very close relationships. You are an outsider and it's very much like a high school cliche. I myself am very satisfied with my work but I cannot stand my manager and several of my coworkers. Should you strive to change them? I don't think so. I don't believe you can change people. You can try to stick it out and see if it gets better but in the meantime I would start researching some alternate areas of nursing. Maybe it's time to go back to school. You can always branch out and do something outside of bedside or acute care nursing. Have you considered something like Public Health? For example working for the county or city health department? You could probably do some shadowing if you contact them. You could even work for an IT company like Cerner or Epic, etc... The point is there are other branches of nursing that may suit you better. With these options you wouldn't have to do shift work, may get some travel in and would have the energy to work on a graduate degree. Don't discount nursing too soon. A lot of people limit nursing to working 1:1 with patients when it can be so much more.
I don't mean this condescendingly, but I'm curious how old you are and what job experience you had prior to nursing.
I say this because I noticed your complaints were about issues that are present in many, many jobs and are not exclusive to nursing. Pettiness, gossip, poor management, etc.......that's just stuff that comes with life and working with a variety of people.
Granted, nursing has a way of boiling up these situations seemingly more frequently than other careers, but you will not be immune to pettiness and BS just by getting out of nursing. I've noticed a lot of young nurses who haven't worked many (or any) other "real" jobs attribute many of their dissatisfactions specifically to nursing when in fact the things they're not happy with are problems you will find in any work environment. But this may not be your situation.
Given I don't know you and your situation any better, it's hard to determine if you need to "just grow a pair" or leave the stupid job because there are definitely toxic nursing environments out there and good ones too. But if you're looking for a perfect job that works with your personal needs and is exempt from human pettiness then a job and/or career change is probably not going to help you.
I too agree with this. You seem young and inexperienced. Like another poster said, your generation seems to have different ideals when it comes to working. You can't just start a job, be new, and expect to get everything you want- that is selfish. You have been there SIX months- you're lucky to 1) have been given not 1, but 2 different jobs you sought, and 2) even be offered a job at this time. You can't expect to start out at the top or with everything you want- employers are in no way obligated to work around your schedule- you work for them. You are lucky to not be working night shift where many new nurses start. Not to be rude, but you don't have a lot to offer employers at this point, you're a new nurse who has job hopped twice and still isn't happy. What do you bring to the table at this point that other new grads/new nurses don't- I would seriously think about that before jumping ship again.
Like PP stated, there is pettiness in every career out there. If your looking for otherwise you are probably in for a rude awakening. You need to just keep to yourself and do your job. If you can't do that or you expect an employer to bend over backwards to accommodate you, as a brand new nurse, you should probably leave nursing; however, I suspect you won't find any career you are happy in.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
This is my first submission to allnurses and I regret starting out on such a negative note. I joined this website to prove to myself that I'm not alone, that there are other nurses who share my feelings, so I simply need to put my thoughts out there. What I am about to say is something that I say to my husband on a weekly basis, if not more. Love his heart, he does his best to convince me that what I'm feeling is valid but he can't understand. He isn't a woman but more importantly, he isn't a nurse.
I graduated roughly one year ago with my BSN. At the time I was a nurse intern (basically a CNA) in a very large ICU. I really enjoyed that job, and loved taking care of critically ill patients. At the same time I was working in the ICU, I was doing my nursing school senior practicum in the intensive treatment unit at an inpatient psych hospital because I had always been fascinated with psych. My preceptor was amazing, the manager was great, and the staff morale was exceptional. I applied to and received job offers from both units upon graduating nursing school. I solicited advice from every nurse I came across at both facilities, and after much consideration I decided on the ICU position. Six months in, I detested it.
It wasn't the job I hated, it was the staff and the manager. The infamous nurse predators that "eat their young" had reared their ugly heads and I felt defeated, stupid, and hopeless after every shift. I felt like I was in high school all over again with the gossip, cliques, and passive aggressiveness. There were countless times that I walked into the break room only to find my MANAGER along with several members of the "in crowd" sitting around the table giggling to themselves. Which of course stopped the second I intruded. On top of all of that, I was put on nights, which contributed too a spell of deep depression and poor health. I left that position and didn't work for two months.
Luckily my husband is a saint and knows that his wife is a delicate flower (haha) so we lived off of his income for those two months. Finally, I was done feeling sorry for myself and applied to the psych hospital I had done my practicum at. Thank goodness, I was welcomed back with open arms.
Now I am six months in to that position and am already considering leaving. We have a different manger(that has never worked psych, mind you) and the staff morale that once felt like family has never been lower. I feel completely taken advantage of by my manager in regards to scheduling and working over time. I never see my husband because she refuses to give me some flexibility to align my schedule with his. I have begged over and over to again to go part-time or even PRN. I just feel so exhausted and OVER nursing as a whole. I'm over it, and I can't tell if I have a bad habit of playing the victim or if both job situations have just been unfortunate circumstances. I need your advice, as outsiders to my life, and as fellow nurses. Do I suck it up or leave yet another job after only six months? Honestly I feel like calling it quits altogether sometimes. I daydream of working in a bakery or doing photograohy or tasting wine for a living. Is nursing really all that bad or is there just an adjustment period?
Your husband doesn't understand because he isn't a woman? What does being a woman have to do with anything?
You are a new grad, and you've been job hopping to find the perfect situation. You haven't found it, so you blame that on nursing. Or on those mean old nurses who don't like you and eat their young. Or the manager who won't allow you, the new nurse, to have your perfect schedule to match your husband's when you are the new nurse and there are nurses there who are senior to you. What a terrible situation you've found yourself in -- you who are the special snowflake who deserves to have everyone like you and to get everything you want without having to worry about all those other people who have been dutifully waiting their turn for the cushy schedule and are ahead of you in line. Oh yes -- leaving your job and becoming the brand new employee once again will completely fix that.
You're not too sensitive for nursing. You are just self centered. Get over it. Leave nursing. Let your husband support your delicate floral self. It doesn't sound as though you're cut out for the real world.
There is nothing wrong with your job, your colleagues or your manager. The problem is you. Grow up. Get to know your colleagues. Wait your turn for the perks.
In order for you to keep working in nursing, you will need to ignore many things. Some of those things will be catty coworkers and their poisonous cliques.
I too agree with this. You seem young and inexperienced. Like another poster said, your generation seems to have different ideals when it comes to working. You can't just start a job, be new, and expect to get everything you want- that is selfish. You have been there SIX months- you're lucky to 1) have been given not 1, but 2 different jobs you sought, and 2) even be offered a job at this time. You can't expect to start out at the top or with everything you want- employers are in no way obligated to work around your schedule- you work for them. You are lucky to not be working night shift where many new nurses start. Not to be rude, but you don't have a lot to offer employers at this point, you're a new nurse who has job hopped twice and still isn't happy. What do you bring to the table at this point that other new grads/new nurses don't- I would seriously think about that before jumping ship again.
Like PP stated, there is pettiness in every career out there. If your looking for otherwise you are probably in for a rude awakening. You need to just keep to yourself and do your job. If you can't do that or you expect an employer to bend over backwards to accommodate you, as a brand new nurse, you should probably leave nursing; however, I suspect you won't find any career you are happy in.
Curious why you chose Nursing if you really want to be a wine taster or Photographer? They are very different fields....
Every job is full of all the scenarios and types of people you mentioned. Find an area of nursing you enjoy, put your head down and do it. Know your scope and protect your licence. Stop worrying about the giggling doges.
Also, a PRN job might be good so you can have more control over your schedule
Your husband doesn't understand because he isn't a woman? What does being a woman have to do with anything?
You are a new grad, and you've been job hopping to find the perfect situation. You haven't found it, so you blame that on nursing. Or on those mean old nurses who don't like you and eat their young. Or the manager who won't allow you, the new nurse, to have your perfect schedule to match your husband's when you are the new nurse and there are nurses there who are senior to you. What a terrible situation you've found yourself in -- you who are the special snowflake who deserves to have everyone like you and to get everything you want without having to worry about all those other people who have been dutifully waiting their turn for the cushy schedule and are ahead of you in line. Oh yes -- leaving your job and becoming the brand new employee once again will completely fix that.
You're not too sensitive for nursing. You are just self centered. Get over it. Leave nursing. Let your husband support your delicate floral self. It doesn't sound as though you're cut out for the real world.
There is nothing wrong with your job, your colleagues or your manager. The problem is you. Grow up. Get to know your colleagues. Wait your turn for the perks.
Once again Ruby cuts to the chase.
The new guy has to fit in with the established team not the other way around.
The new guy gets the off shift and works his way up to a preferred shift or schedule. (Though some people just love their nights.)
Doesn't your husband have any advice on fitting in and working your way up? Or has he gotten tired of your constant, weekly, complaining?
And unfortunately you are not alone. You are the entitlement generation hitting the workforce expecting the corner office.
I suspect OP will not respond- she isn't getting the responses she wanted, and now we, who refuse to coddle OP, are going to also be part of the problem. Excuses are like...
hahaha, welcome to nursing, where idiots get promoted, people talk crazy sh@t behind your back, and the weaklings get crushed! I played the game for many years until I got my dream job as a flight nurse. You would have to pay me at least a million dollars a year to go back to the hospital setting. When I take patients in to the ER or ICU, I get to see what nurses look like from the outside looking in, and somehow the management never changes anything. My advice to you, stick it out until you find your thing, so many avenues of nursing you can go to. I mean, just look at the responses from your peers on this website, they suck, and don't support anything. Nursing isn't a profession, it's a battleground, survival of the fittest.
Specializes in Med-Surg, OB, ICU, Public Health Nursing.
I think you have heard the reality of being a new nurse. (not part of the senior group, not getting optimum schedules etc). What I have not heard you say, is what do you like about nursing? Did a patient ever make your day? Do you love babies, elderly?? Are you fascinated to learn more about ___________.
If you are only seeing the drawbacks and not the positives, you will continue to be miserable.
After soul searching and answering the above questions, I would start looking for another position. I would keep my current position until I landed another one. If after one year, you are still miserable, it is time to walk. Life is too short to continue to work in a job you hate.
I had a 40 year career and changed jobs every 8 or 9 years. I wasn't miserable, but just ready to move onto a new challenge. There are so many different types of nursing that is way too soon to just walk away now.
I too hated nursing from the get-go. Back in the day, my issues were the night shift and the intensive labor.
My father advised me to just hang it up, if it was that bad. ( Dad had coughed up the tuition). I thought... no WAY. After all that work getting my degree, I was going to damn well use it.
You have not made it through that period of reality shock. You will.
Aww. I have been in your situation before both in nursing and non. People who say you are being weak, are older. I don't know how old you are, but thicker skin comes with age. When you are able to shrug off cliques and people that are obviously talking behind your back. I truly sympathize with your situation. The question is for me is your heart in what you are doing? Do you feel that your role as a nurse makes a difference? If the answer to those questions are No, then you should maybe get out. Your husband sounds like mine. He supports your decisions and just wants you to be happy. I left nursing in 2011 and just re-entered in a mere 2-3 weeks ago! My heart is still there, but I am not all that happy. I am fortunate to have FANTASTIC co-workers and that is a large part that keeps me at my new job. I know the cut-throat environment and it is sickening because why would you want an essential part of your nursing team to fail or struggle? That is a lack of morals because they should be supportive because you are caring for life as they are and if you fail many of your patients could suffer as well.
I'll tell you this, I left nursing d/t extreme stress (nervous breakdown) and only re-entered because I lost a very well paid job and did not want less pay. My heart is still with my patients/residents no doubt. I just hate the liability, pill pushing and general stress of another persons life in my hands. If your heart is in nursing then maybe you should consider another type of nursing job. Toxicity among co-workers is fairly prevalent. Ever consider home health, hospice or Case management? You will still get to take care of people , but have minimal interaction with management or other nursing staff.
You worked hard for your degree explore other options if need be there is a place for you. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find where we belong. God Bless you.
but more importantly, he isn't a nurse. 
jnurse35
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