Done, can anyone relate and share?

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in ICU, ER, EP,.

k, here bearing it all, there was a thread about compassion fatigue syndrome.. and i read all these vents, posts of anger and exhaustion.... but i'm not looking for the.. "it will be aok, just hang in there" response.

i really wish to hear from those that simply have nothing left to give, are empty and still have to show up and do it all over again until they find something different. i don't want a pep talk, i wish to have a discussion with those that are compassion fatigued, exhausted and simply empty. (if you're a nursing student, please, please turn the channel). and i mean no disrespect in that... i'm done ... done and need help from those that know and have been there.

while i could fill up 4 pages of bandwith of what i've been going through, i'll spare you the dramatics, but after a child who was massively injured and recovering,and will be "just fine", i simply don't care about others issues....i think your mamma with chf is going to be just fine, tone down the dramatics and live a day in my life....'so you in the icu with a bull crap suicide attempt... i'm trying to save people that want to live" (get your crap together and do it right the first time and be a me case or get out). i'm done with that bs...

you're 65 crying out loud if you don't take your meds you'll seize, be intubated,put on drips for your non controlled htn, blood sugar and what not. and don't be angry with me that i can't fix the result of your noncompliance as quickly as you wish.

my point is... when we are really done... really done... and have to get out, run as far as we can..... what is really left for us?

i"'m afraid that i have to leave nursing because i have noting left to give and simply don't give a crap about those that i care for. i 'm looking for other areas... but i simply have no give a damn left to those that never gave a damn... and i'm searching for anything in nursing.....

my fear is that in 15 years, it' s time to go, and some of you that will say that that haven't been through it, what i really do is pure hell. i live in hell, and i finally here admit my defeat... i'm done....

for anyone like me in the icu... being done as i am can you give any advice and alternatives that you've moved on to and been whole?

I totally know where you are coming from. I've not quite reached DONE yet but I'm approaching. Sympathy and empathy are quickly being sucked out and will be at level zero shortly.

Have you considered working in a busy PACU? You still get that element of critical care but you're not there to manage them. Wake them up and send them to their assigned bed.

I know of an ICU nurse that recently left after 24 years. She's doing hospice and has fallen in love with nursing all over again.

I'm hoping this thread will be interesting to follow.

Specializes in Certified Med/Surg tele, and other stuff.

Well, not ICU, but I did quit. One day I walked in and gave notice. No fuss, no muss. People were aghast that I suddenly quit. "What will you do all day?" many co workers asked. I told them that I was going to take care of ME, my kids and husband. I never once turned back and did a happy jig walking to my car. I spent 4 yrs out of nursing. I found my passion in Special Ed advocacy, as one of my kids is special needs. Taking on a school district is nothing compared to a Dr in the middle of the night that has an attitude.:lol2:

Sadly, my husband became ill, forcing me back into the field. So...here I am because I have to be. This time it's different though. Now I actually like my job and don't mind going to work, for the most part. I really do think getting out of it for the time I did was helpful. I was suffering serious burn out.

Can you quit for a while and do something totally different or take a break all together?

If you can't and have to stay in nursing, I'd really think of changnig specialties. Why not work for a school district taking care of kids? Something that would be challenging but not have the ICU burn out?

Good luck to you. BTDT and back again, but this time for the better.

Specializes in home health, dialysis, others.

There are many other avenues in nursing you can pursue, some which will keep you in direct patient care, and others that will keep you at a desk. Look into outpatient surgi-centers, or case management, or many others.

Find a hobby to refresh you when you are off. Years ago, I was involved in community theatre. What a change from my day-to-day stuff!

After 25 years of bedside nursing, my spouse was finally making enough money for me to step back for a while. I took a job at a very large travel agency, and worked there for 2 1/2 years - until just after 9/11, when the bottom fell out of the business. Went back to nursing, very refreshed.

Now I have sustained a back injury while not at work, and I will never be able to work in direct pt care again. So I took a course to become a legal nurse consultant, and am hoping I can get that off the ground very soon.

Before you walk away from nursing, look into other areas.

Best wishes!

Specializes in ICU, Research, Corrections.

Zookeeper,

Have you considered interventional radiology or PACU? I have been looking

myself.

You aren't going to get a lecture from me! Personally, the ICU families are

burning me out along with the customer service attitudes. Sorry, it's not all

about how fast I can get your Mama a ginger ale. This isn't Dennys! :p

I hear you. I'm so tired of biting my tongue for these "customers" I'm about to explode! I'm currently trying to get into medical aesthetics. Some days I envy people who get to work in a cubicle and do not have to deal with people...is that bad!? ;)

Specializes in ICU, PICU, School Nursing, Case Mgt.

Wow, I totaly can relate!!!

And thank you for the caveat asking the students to turn the channel...you really need to have been there and done that to understand.

I'm certainly not going to tell you it will be ok...because it wont...in fact, the way this profession has changed in the last decade coupled with the attitude of entitlement of the patients and families, it will probably get worse.

Add that to the cumulative effect of the stress and abuse to which you have been exposed and it is a recipe for total meltdown.

I also did PICU for many years and then ICU. I HATED adult ICU...I live in an affluent area and after the 20th time a retired (fill in the blank)....judge, lawyer, doctor, businessman came in with a PMH of "only social drinking" and proceeded to go into DTs...I was over it, not to mention the denial the patient and the family was in...we would dry them out, they of course would refuse treatment because "they were certainly not an alcoholic" because they only drink on the golf course (all 18 holes-every day) and have a "few" cocktails before dinner...and an after dinner drink..(every night) only to see them again in a few months... as they were going into acute liver failure, or hepatic encephalopathy!

Then there were the ever lovely surgeons, who upon being called in the middle of the night because their fresh post op had dropped his H/H by 3 points in 4 hours would say "why are you telling me this at 2:00 am?" and procede to slam down the phone....yes, this happened more than once.

and on and on...not to mention the blantent abuse of the medicaide system in PICU....300 lb mother with a trached, home vented, gtubed special needs kid...the baby was a 23 week gestation because the crack smoking mother had no prenatal care...and NICU resus'ed it...*another story*...kid is now 4 years old and comes in regularly because stupid mother is totaly non compliant with meds and treatment....yet she tells you in great detail how little"----" just loves his 52 inch screen hi def TV...he just loves watching Maury Povich on it (in the trailer) while she guzzles RC cola all day...that WE pay for, as she is on SS disability and can not work, ya know?...well, I am disabled, too but I work and I don't have a 52 inch screen TV...and this is only one example, I could cite 100s more...

It sound like I am turning this into my rant, maybe I am, but you are not alone!

I could not afford to take time off, however, when by BP was 180/98 one night at work (i am not hypertensive) I resigned the next day...

I went to work in a free standing in house Hospice...LOVED it...did that for a few years until my hips, knees and back gave out. Now I am doing Case Management for insurance companies...BORING...but it is a job and no weekend,holidays or call required.

Bottom line, if you can take a pause for the cause-do it, and as soon as possible.

If you can't take time off, then check out case management/utilization review at least for awhile.

THere are a number of openings here, for the experienced RN in CM.

GOOD LUCK with whatever you decide.

Feel free to PM me, as these posts may incite some grumbling...from the newbies and uninitiated!

s

Specializes in ICU, PICU, School Nursing, Case Mgt.
I hear you. I'm so tired of biting my tongue for these "customers" I'm about to explode! I'm currently trying to get into medical aesthetics. Some days I envy people who get to work in a cubicle and do not have to deal with people...is that bad!? ;)

Night,

I do work in a cubicle now, and it has it's own set of problems..:crying2: I don't have to see people, but I do have to talk to them and it is still nursing...

However, not as bad as ICU

see above post:)

s

Specializes in Health Information Management.
I hear you. I'm so tired of biting my tongue for these "customers" I'm about to explode! I'm currently trying to get into medical aesthetics. Some days I envy people who get to work in a cubicle and do not have to deal with people...is that bad!? ;)

Nope. There's nothing wrong with that at all. Some individuals are "people people" and some aren't. While you can try to improve your people skills, you can't change the way you're wired! Personally, I'm not good enough with people to deal with them all the time, which is one reason (though not the primary one) why I'm going into health information management.

@OP: If a complete break from nursing without switching directly to a new job isn't in the cards financially for you, perhaps you could shift to part-time and go back to school so that you could work in a less people-centric area? I obviously haven't hit the wall in nursing, but I've done it in another very people-centric and soul-draining field, so I understand the way you feel to some degree. If you could downshift on your working hours and start transitioning to something more to your taste, it might help you deal with the empathy exhaustion.

Obviously, there are tons of other areas in nursing and perhaps you'd do just as well switching to a different area of your current field. However, if you need a complete break from nursing, going back to school to switch into another field (one allied to health care or completely divorced from it) might be just the ticket. I felt better when I knew I was working towards something else; it made me feel less trapped and tapped out.

Specializes in Hospice, LTC, Rehab, Home Health.

Zookeeper,

I also went to Hospice after too many years in LTC, seven years later I love it as much if not more than the first day!

Nothing really more to add just.....:hug::hug:

Specializes in PICU, NICU, L&D, Public Health, Hospice.
k, here bearing it all, there was a thread about compassion fatigue syndrome.. and i read all these vents, posts of anger and exhaustion.... but i'm not looking for the.. "it will be aok, just hang in there" response.

i really wish to hear from those that simply have nothing left to give, are empty and still have to show up and do it all over again until they find something different. i don't want a pep talk, i wish to have a discussion with those that are compassion fatigued, exhausted and simply empty. (if you're a nursing student, please, please turn the channel). and i mean no disrespect in that... i'm done ... done and need help from those that know and have been there.

while i could fill up 4 pages of bandwith of what i've been going through, i'll spare you the dramatics, but after a child who was massively injured and recovering,and will be "just fine", i simply don't care about others issues....i think your mamma with chf is going to be just fine, tone down the dramatics and live a day in my life....'so you in the icu with a bull crap suicide attempt... i'm trying to save people that want to live" (get your crap together and do it right the first time and be a me case or get out). i'm done with that bs...

you're 65 crying out loud if you don't take your meds you'll seize, be intubated,put on drips for your non controlled htn, blood sugar and what not. and don't be angry with me that i can't fix the result of your noncompliance as quickly as you wish.

my point is... when we are really done... really done... and have to get out, run as far as we can..... what is really left for us?

i"'m afraid that i have to leave nursing because i have noting left to give and simply don't give a crap about those that i care for. i 'm looking for other areas... but i simply have no give a damn left to those that never gave a damn... and i'm searching for anything in nursing.....

my fear is that in 15 years, it' s time to go, and some of you that will say that that haven't been through it, what i really do is pure hell. i live in hell, and i finally here admit my defeat... i'm done....

for anyone like me in the icu... being done as i am can you give any advice and alternatives that you've moved on to and been whole?

you need to step away from this area of nursing for a spell, possibly permanently. discovering another way to provide an income stream in our current economy may be the biggest challenge in that, but it must be done.

when nurses fatigue to the point that they no longer care they are at risk of harming patients and/or outcomes. when nurses experience compassion fatigue to this point they are more likely to participate in lateral violence and emotional abuse in the workplace. i am not saying you are actually harming patients or peers, but you are certainly at risk. burned out nurses are often angry, irritable, and not very much fun to work with. most managers worth their paycheck watch for signs of this fatigue and seek to help their staff discover resolution to the problem...for everyone's benefit.

none of this means that you can no longer nurse...it simply means that you must first "heal yourself". you may need to take a short sabatical from bedside nursing. you must find a specialty and employer who can help you "fill your bucket" rather than knocking holes in it everytime you punch in for your shift. do not let your fatigue paralyze you or your current emotional state to impair your professional self-esteem...you can be a successful nurse in another specialty or unit...you simply have to determine to make the change and make it soon. if you do not find your next "love" immediately, give it 6 months and move on again.

bottom line is this...nobody wants an icu nurse who could care less about their patients to provide the care for themselves or their loved ones...

Specializes in ICU, PICU, School Nursing, Case Mgt.

In regard to the above post..

Uh, rather harsh, no?

The OP realizes this and that is why she is concerned.

She does not need to be guilted into feeling worse than she does...

THis is one reason we have the reputation of "eating our young"

s

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