day 6 start of week 3 as a new rn and i was about to quit!!!!!!!!!!

  1. hi,
    so i have been out of school for 2 years but quit my job in a private office working with a md because its not where i thought i wanted to be! So accepted a job in a ccu step down and i am on week 3 on a med surg part of my roataion! I am so overwhelmed with all the things i have to know and do! I have had a few preceptors because of some situations of changing my schedule. They all have good and bad points but the one i should be with makes me CRAZY!!!!! She is more of a drill sergeant type.
    well she left me on my own on friday and i was a reck!!!!!!!!!!! at one point she looked at me like where have u been for the last hour? my mouth just drop open ...because i wasnt sitting down picking my nose! I was running around trying to find meds, figure out if had the right tubing, checking if it need a filter..... yada!!!! she was like you realize how long that took you? I get why she is doing it but i am doing my best. But it makes me run around with a pit in my stomach! So yesterday i had my other preceptor what a joy!!!!! was still very independent but much less stressed. Except i made a hugeeeeeeee mistake with a medication. And i told myself that i was gonna quit because i cant do anything else but what i am doing now and that is trying my best and its imposible to do anything more than that. Well i had gotten report from the night shift that this patient was a bit difficult because she has her own meds with her and she demand on take them her self and when she wants ! Also she was one day post op. Her bp was on the low side but nothing else of note. So i went off with my computer and her meds that i pulled just incase...and off to her room. Well i explained what meds i had that she was do for and she started getting very nasty@! she pulled out her meds and i asked if could see and verify them and the amounts and tried to explain that i was not trying to be difficult but need to make sure she was safe. well she started getting very angry that she new what she had to take and how much. well ...she ended up taking her beta blocker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i walked out and didnt even realize it till my precept came after me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugggh i felt horriable, i knew i need to hold that med with her b/p so low and had a similar situation on friday! WHY DID MY BRAIN NNOT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WATCHED HER TAKE IT! well my precep was great obsously was upset and let her boss know. She asked what i would do . I said um vs every 15 mins make sure she getting her fluids. I went in helped her wash uup and was doing manual bp all day! luckly she was fine and by 4 her bp was back up. But i was so close to quitting.

    I have no reason or logic of why i did it. I could sit here and try to make excuses but i just cant excuse that! The only thing i know is that WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My preceptor told me at the end of the day that i was doing great. I just looked at her and smiled. But i most certainly feel like i am not!!!!!! but i think that was my last day with her and from now on be with the precp that make me crazy. I get why she is trying to teach me time management but how can i be that quick if i need to check everything and am slower because i am new? With the precep yesterday i did fine time wise she never reminded me of time, and i never felt rushed by her, and even got to enjoy sometime with my patient! And was out by 730. While with my other precpet i am always late and she tells me ..i have never been her this late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I am not sure i can go on. I am doing my best but feel like its just impossible to know everything. I feel like if i could just fast forward and get all the knowledge that i will be a great nurse! I love being able to help these people. I have seen some wonderful nursing going on and am so envious of them! But i dont think there is much more i can do.
    ok enough rambling i just really need to get this off my chest because allnurses is all i have who will understand where i am coming from!
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    About erin01

    Joined: Mar '09; Posts: 156; Likes: 34

    14 Comments

  3. by   nyteshade
    Sounds rough! Getting into your own routine will take time...a lot of time...lol. Anywho, if you clash with this precep, why not ask the nurse manager for a switch to the one you bonded with? Though, I feel the precep should have gone in the room with you, knowing this lady is difficult. Mastering the art of nursing takes time...we all were there. Who knows maybe there might be other types of nursing where you feel right at home...
  4. by   sunshine888
    hang in there..and with time you will get the routine down and will be more fluent in what u r doing and plus will biuild up more confidence...yea..if i were u i would ask my manager to change my preceptor so u can learn the way u feel comfortable by...other thing u can do is make a list of things u need to do so u dont frget...everybody faces challenges when u first start..be it ur preceptor or just getting the routine down....take it one day @ a time and u should do fine...good luck
  5. by   mommiof2kids
    you can do this!! just hang in there and take it one day at a time. You have gone from a slower pace, lower acuity environment to a fast paced higher acuity setting. This is going to take some adjustment. As for the preceptor that you weren't comfortable with...my suggestion is that you either speak to her directly or the nurse educator that assigned her to you. Every preceptor has a different approach and clearly her's isn't working for you. In approaching her, just let her know that you are feeling anxious and overwhelmed and could she please do .....? If you're not comfortable with speaking to her, go to the educator or manager. As for the incident with the difficult patient, yes your preceptor should have gone in with you. However, when you are out there on your own you won't have a preceptor. I think that in that situation I would have stated "okay, Mrs. X, that's fine if you want to use your own medication. It is against our hospital policy but it is your right to do so. Your BP is a bit low this morning and you shouldn't take your BP medicine yet." Then you document exactly what you tell Mrs. X in your chart. So now you've CYA'd yourself, educated the patient about hospital policy and her BP med. The other thing that you can do is find out what the hospital policy is in regards to patients using their home meds. Most hospitals just want the med checked by the pharmacist and then it's okay. Don't beat yourself up over this mistake. ALL of us make mistakes. Use it as a learning experience and move on. You're going to do just fine!
  6. by   Vito Andolini
    Bottom line - the patient was fine. She self-medicated. You have a lousy situation, getting switched between a horrible preceptor and a decent one who should run a little more interference for you, stay with you more.

    Be sure you notify the doctor that the patient self-medicates and chart that you niotified him, also notified preceptor and charge nurse and unit manager.

    BTW, it is the job of the Pharmacist to verify what's in bottled brought in from outside. It is not the nurses' job.

    Chart it all.
  7. by   kanzi monkey
    How low was her BP? How was her HR? Beta blockers have less effect on BP than on HR, so if her SBP was > 90 and her HR was >70 the beta blocker would probably be fine. All I'm saying is, it wasn't likely that harm would come to her. In fact, you PREVENTED a med error in that you didn't double dose her seeing as she was taking her own meds.

    I had a rough start too, very similar. Take it one day at a time. It will come together.
  8. by   sandraann
    I HAVE JUST JOINED TODAY. I,VE BEEN IN THE FIELD OVER 20 YEARS.I HAVE READ YOUR THREAD. """ DO NOT LET THESE OTHER WOMEN INTIMATE YOU """ !!!! HOLD YOUR HEAD UP. DO NOT GIVE UP WHAT YOU HAVE WORKED SO HARD FOR. NURSING SCHOOL IM SURE WAS NOT EASY. YOU ARE INTELLIGENT AND ORGANIZED ETC,OTHERWISE YOU WOULD NOT OF PASSED SCHOOL. I CAN SAY IT DOES TAKE TIME TO ORGANIZE YOUR SELF ON A FAST PACED BUSY FLOOR. I WOULD SAY ABOUT 6 MONTHS BEFORE YOU ARE COMFORTABLE. YOU WILL FIND YOUR OWN ROUTINE. IF YOUR GUT FEELING TELLS YOU THE JOB IS WRONG MOVE ON ! I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT EVERY NURSE HAS MADE SOME KIND OF ERROR IN THERE CAREER. THAT DOES NOT JUSTIFY IT. NO ONE IS PERFECT. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES IT WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER NURSE.PERHAPS YOU CAN GO TO AN EASIER FLOOR AND SLOWLY MOVE UP. THE SAD PART IS THAT NURSES DO EAT THEIR YOUNG.I,VE ACTUALLY HAD A JOB WHERE NOONE LIKED ME JUST BECAUSE I WAS ME AND DIDNT FIT IN WITH THERE CLICK.SUCCESS IS MATURITY,SELF ESTEEM,THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX AND KNOWING YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE ARE COMMENTED TO OBTAINING THERE GOALS.
    SOME QUOTES FOR YOU :
    (#1)THOMAS EDISON INVENTED THE LIGHT.HE WAS ASKED HOW IT FELT TO FAIL 2000 TIMES. HE SAID HE NERVER FAILED IT WAS A 2000-STEP PROCESS.(#2)NORMA JEAN,WAS TOLD TO GET MARRIED OR BE A SECRETARY BY A MODELING AGENCY. "" SHE WENT ON TO BECOME MARILYN MONROE.
    ______SOMETIMES A FAILED PLAN IS A BETTER INSTRUCTOR THAN MEETING A TARGET________
    GOOD LUCK,YOU CAN DO ANYTHING ! YOU WILL BE O.K.;SANDRA:spin:
  9. by   LisalaRN99
    Please don't quit! It will take you some time to get yourself organized and calmed down! LOL! I remember my first hospital job. I cried, and threatened to quit many times. But I hung in there. And yes, I made some medication errors, but thankfully, nothing serious! Don't let others intimidate you! Stick with it! You are having a hard time with different preceptors. I had that at one point when I did a preceptorship in ICU stepdown. It's hard to please everyone! Bottom line: you obviously care, or you wouldn't be there. You left a doctor's office job (cushy, even?) for the hospital. That says a lot! And it doesn't say CRAZY! You are a caring nurse who is struggling with organizing yourself on the floor....you're not incompetent. This is normal.

    As I write this, I see myself soon! After 3 years, I am planning to return to a busy Telemetry unit because I WANT TO! My career goal is to be a nurse educator, and not in the psychiatric field I currently am working. Why I left the hospital is a longer story, but I know it is best that I go back, and I am looking forward to it. I know I have rusty skills, and it will take me time to re aclimate to the routine and get organized. I know it will be tough, but I am tougher!

    You are too!

    Lisa
  10. by   mama_d
    Holy cow, take a breath and slow down!

    It made my heart rate accelerate just reading your post.

    You've only been a nurse on the floor for three weeks, right? Honey, I work with nurses who have been on the floor for three YEARS who still don't have their stuff straight, and they don't care. You're a step ahead of them, in that you do give a rat's behind.

    Your patient took a BP med and they shouldn't have. I promise it's not the first time in the history of nursing that's happened, and it surely won't be the last (in fact, it's probably happened multiple times in multiple facilities since you wrote this). Bottom line, no harm no foul. You learned to not let that happen again.

    Take deep breaths. Think about prioritization. Ask questions. Let your preceptor know when you're getting overwhelmed. There's nothing wrong with going to her (or him) and saying "I have ABCDEFG to get done now, and can't figure out how to get more than ABC done. Please help me figure this out."

    Talk with your NM and see if you can get your preceptor switched. I'm sure that I'm not the only one who sees nurses precepting and thinks "OMG, that new nurse is screwed. Why on earth would they let THAT nurse precept?" We have a similar situation going on where I work now, more new grads than strong nurses to precept. I'm cringing waiting for them to get out of orientation, it's going to be sink or swim for some of them, and it's not fair to them at all.

    There's nothing wrong at all with taking five seconds to take deep breaths in the med room and re-focus, even if you have to do it every hour. Try not to get too overwhelmed, give yourself time, and have faith in yourself that it will all come together.
  11. by   erin01
    Thanks to all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You all have made me feel like a weight has been lifted. Tomorrow is d day again, lets see what happens. I really do care about these people and want to be a small comfort to them in the time of sickness. This is why i am here!!!!!!!!! =) thanks again.
  12. by   chicookie
    DEEP BREATHES! Remember this too shall pass. This time with your preceptor is going to be hard but it will get better. A day at a time. A day at a time.
    So something bad happened. You know better now and next time it won't happen.
    As for your preceptor, learn her good parts, focus on that. You will be fine, I just know it.
  13. by   SummerGarden
    my first preceptor was bad... i now work with her as an equal nurse and i do not have problems with her. however at the time i was not doing well with her as my preceptor and i requested another one. i actually got three due to scheduling and they were all amazing! they gave me a lot of information that helped me to think while being stressed and assisted me with my time management, which i am finally getting better at due to experience (yep... nothing else is going to help you but showing up to work every day and learning to handle the bad situations and the limited time things need to be done). as you can see from my post and the others you are not alone. please join us on the first year after nursing licensure forum.

    https://allnurses.com/first-year-after/
  14. by   Minnie2006
    Best of luck. I can relate to how you feel and so can many others out there. I'm still quite new to the hospital and feel overwhelmed more often than not. I found many of these post encouraging. If only all of the veteran nurses out there could remember that feeling of being new. We all just want to do the best job we can, but there is sooooo much to learn above and beyond pt. care skills. Stay strong and go forward, I hope to.

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