Iv been a nurse now for 15 years. I have felt privileged to have been so, and proud of it. I did once upon a time feel that I did a good job. These days however its a different story all together. Iv grown to hate my job, it seems to be one mistake after another, or some critasim, or complaint. I really can't cope any more. I'm having a complete crisis of confidence. I wake in the morning with palpitations at the thought of having to go to work, I was on holiday recently and I was in tears on my last day knowing I had to go back to work. I'm going out of my mind imaging problems that haven't occurred and mistakes I didnt make. Can anyone come back from that or is it eventually time to quit?
Do you need to work? Can you take a step back and re-group for a few weeks or months without financial issues? Can you find another job? Are you having issues with non-work life? You may want to check in for counseling.
I would think to assess your needs & responsibilities & resources to make a change or consider options.
It sounds like you are on the road to self destruct or to get cut loose. Best to leave of your own accord than not.
Get some help for insight in real life. Internet is not the best place...
Best to you.
You say straight out that you have grown to hate your job. I don't see any salvaging that.
Take your time to find yourself a job that you are better suited for and make a new start somewhere else.
If you have been a nurse for 15 years, then you will have developed some self-knowledge about what sort of pace, patient population, shifts and working style that works best for you. Do a little bet of soul searching so you don't end up in a new job with the same problems.
Your anxiety requires professional treatment. A new job could help, but work that out with your counselor.
Best wishes, please don't keep suffering.
Just was in the same place after 39 years of nursing. Got professional help, and it made all the difference. I'm back to work and doing well with renewed confidence and not hating everything.
I'm sorry to hear about these difficulties.
Stress, anxiety and/or burnout is far too common is much worse when you are also potentially dealing with issues of livelihood vs. no livelihood. Like Ruas61 was saying, counseling might be a really good option. I would also add that as much as it sucks, there is no "or is it eventually time to quit?". You are past that. It would not be unwise to switch to a much less stressful or less demanding job that has the characteristics you know would provide that for you and begin seeing someone to help you figure out what the heck is going on up there, no madder the source of the problem. No shame in it.
I've been there, and you need a break. If its relatively mild, a month off will give you a whole new perspective. Don't even think about trying to make decisions until you've been away from work for a good ten days, maybe more. You might need to take it as medical leave, but if you talk to your manager some "emergency" vacation might be arranged.
In our hospital we can do temporary placements on other units for up to a year without losing our spot in the original unit. Maybe a term position somewhere completely different would do you good.
Go see a doctor about your anxiety. It could be your thyroid, for example. Otherwise if not medical related I would look into starting anti-anxiety meds.
Besides the good suggestions to visit your PCP, I will bet that some soul-searching and life re-prioritization is in order.
There is mention criticisms and complaints. I realize I'm reading between the lines a little bit but the accelerated petty critiquing and other toxicities in acute care aren't good. I'm tired of that getting a free pass while nurses get called burned out. Some people weather that better than others and I don't have much trouble believing that dealing with it can manifest in a variety of ways.
If any of this happens to ring true, you can get through it. Start with some time for yourself and go from there.
Take care ~
I am sorry you are having such a hard time right now. I agree with others that you should seek medical care to check for a physiological problem and/or counseling for the anxiety. You don't say what type of facility you work at but as others have stated maybe a different unit or type of facility. There are always criticisms and complaints from admin and this has steadily worsened over the years, and it is disheartening (to say the least). Is it possible to take a leave of absence, FMLA etc. This would allow you to decompress and look at the situation before making any life changing decisions, and (obviously) your age would make a difference whatever you decide.
Please think through your possible decisions prior to making changes so you do not make your situation worse.
Take care of you!!
I would go on a leave of absence. There is a "stress leave" that some nurses take who are burnt out. I think you need to view the situation with a clear head. I bet a lot of this is in you mind and taking a step back will allow you some perspective.
Like the above poster said... you can probably get a psychiatrist to sign off on FMLA for your anxiety issues... I have known people to do just that. Some were nurses and some weren't. It couldn't hurt to try anyway. The ones that I know even got paid short term disability for that, same as if they were out for a medical reason.
You cannot take care of someone else without taking care of yourself first and foremost. Perhaps your pre stressing over work is your body and mind's way of telling you that there are things with you that needs looked after. There is no shame in that. I agree with the previous posters suggestions on finding someone to talk to about these thoughts and feelings. Maybe you need a break, or a new atmosphere altogether, you dont have to have all the answers right now. Life is too short to dread something so much it is effecting you in this manner.
Take care of you, everything else will fall into place. Best wishes.
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