crazy bereavement rules

Nurses General Nursing

Published

There has been a death in my family of a Uncle by marriage, he was 92. He is the widower of our mother's sister, the sister being dead for 15 years, so Uncle is no blood relative. In this case we knew him well, but a person like that could in some cases be a stranger. OK, so one of my siblings who works as an LPN for large healthcare institution, found out this death qualifies him for a bereavement day. That is great, we all appreciate that and it is great that bro gets to go to funeral. However, a few years ago a beloved nephew died in a horrible car accident. When my sibling asked for a bereavement day for the funeral of his own flesh and blood nephew he was told nieces and nephews don't qualify. He and I just shook our heads when he heard he could bereavement day to go to funeral of this Uncle but not his nephew. However, I guess you have to be grateful for what you can get. PS I know many people get no bereavement pay at all and will wonder what I am complaining about here. Like I said the family and my brother are very pleased he is getting what he is getting. However he and I did talk about what an odd policy it is and I thought I would tell my allnurses friends about our conversation.

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Specializes in ER.

Sheesh, if someone is family and I feel like I need the day I just inform the hospital, and they support it. I use my regular sick time. I don't think our employer can dictate whose funeral is important enough to go to. Are you talking about getting time over and above your regular sick time as bereavement leave?

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Sheesh, if someone is family and I feel like I need the day I just inform the hospital, and they support it. I use my regular sick time. I don't think our employer can dictate whose funeral is important enough to go to. Are you talking about getting time over and above your regular sick time as bereavement leave?
Yes, my brother did go to nephew's funeral of course, but he did it without getting paid. Where he works bereavement days are totally separate from sick days and vacation days, if you take bereavement day your sick pay or vacation pay is not docked. Since his employer knew why he was taking off he could not claim a sick day or vacation day because it was not considered an approved absence. Of course if he would have understood the policy ahead of time he would have just called in sick for the nephew's funeral but once he told them he was sunk.
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Specializes in medical assistant.
:twocents: i smell a fight---how dare the ******** in administratration tell you what family members are "important" enough for a freaking bereavement day! whether a person is related by "blood" or "marriage", the fact that they once lived and affected your life in some way vaildates your needing to be there. shame on administraion and anyone else who has such narrow minded views on bereavement rules! :madface:
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Specializes in ICU/ER.

We dont have bereavement/sick/holiday etc. We have PTO thats it. A pretty nice PTO plan but for what ever when ever you need off you take PTO pay.

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I've got one even better.

My step-brother committed suicide on Thanksgiving Day 2006. I couldn't take any bereavement time because I had only worked there 5 1/2 months not 6 months.

Next time I better check before some one kills them selves ,huh.

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Specializes in LTC, Home Health.

A few years ago, my ex mother-in-law was on her dying bed. I called work to report I would not be there for the 3 pm shift and the reason why. I was told by the DON of the LTC I worked at that this woman was no longer my MIL and I would report for work at my scheduled time. She was my MIL for over 20 years and the grandmother of my children and someone who I still loved and thought of as family. I don't recall having divorced her, just her son who I was and still am on good terms with, a decision we made early in the separation because of our children and grandchildren. Needless to say, I took uniform with me and stayed at the hospital as long as I could without being late for work. She passed away before the end of my shift. I guess there are some who don't understand that all ties aren't always broken when there is a death or divorce. This sweet lady was there for me when I was a new bride starting out, and I wanted to be there for her in her last moments. If I had it to do all over again, I would be out the day after her funeral looking for a job.

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Specializes in Gyn Onc, OB, L&D, HH/Hospice/Palliative.
I've got one even better.

My step-brother committed suicide on Thanksgiving Day 2006. I couldn't take any bereavement time because I had only worked there 5 1/2 months not 6 months.

Next time I better check before some one kills them selves ,huh.

All I can say is WOW, how inhumane..:(.. it boggles the mind, how awful for you, I'm very sorry you had to experience that, I would have quit on the spot:madface:

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Does not surprise me one bit. At my previous position (hospital) I was asked by HR when I told them I would be out of work for several days to travel out of state when my grandfather died....

"Were you really that close to him? Do you need to attend the funeral?"

This is the same facility that only gives ONE day off to attend the actual funeral if it is your step-child. Does not matter if YOU RAISED him/her as an acting parent!

And you better have an obit with your name listed as kin to back this up!

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

That is terrible.

When my grandfather died earlier this year, I had only been at my job for 5 months, I was given 3 days bereavement leave. I know that I called HR, and filled out a notice and gave it to my unit coordinator, but never any hassle about who the leave was for.

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Specializes in Did Med /Surg for 5 y, now PP for 3 y.

The rules at our hospital are like that as well. My dad died in June 2005 and I got 24 hours bereavement pay, but, when my 6 year old nephew died in October 2007, They said a nephew is not immediate family. I helped raise this child and he lived with me for four out of his six years, I was very upset. He was like my own child. One of my co-worker's brother in law died a few weeks later and she got paid for that. There are so many things wrong with this picture.

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The rules at our hospital are like that as well. My dad died in June 2005 and I got 24 hours bereavement pay, but, when my 6 year old nephew died in October 2007, They said a nephew is not immediate family. I helped raise this child and he lived with me for four out of his six years, I was very upset. He was like my own child. One of my co-worker's brother in law died a few weeks later and she got paid for that. There are so many things wrong with this picture.

Unfortunately, there are a certain percentage of people (in any job) who will abuse leave policies, be it sick leave or bereavement. Those folks will have a virtually unlimited number of people whose deaths were devastating to them.

The less-than-scrupulous make things harder for the honest folks and, for better or worse, management can't differentiate between them w/o getting in hot water with the authorities. So, we all get treated with suspicion.

This is one more reason I prefer PTO. I can use it as I see fit, provided I keep in mind that staffing has to be met. This is nursing, not accounting.

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