Published
There has been a death in my family of a Uncle by marriage, he was 92. He is the widower of our mother's sister, the sister being dead for 15 years, so Uncle is no blood relative. In this case we knew him well, but a person like that could in some cases be a stranger. OK, so one of my siblings who works as an LPN for large healthcare institution, found out this death qualifies him for a bereavement day. That is great, we all appreciate that and it is great that bro gets to go to funeral. However, a few years ago a beloved nephew died in a horrible car accident. When my sibling asked for a bereavement day for the funeral of his own flesh and blood nephew he was told nieces and nephews don't qualify. He and I just shook our heads when he heard he could bereavement day to go to funeral of this Uncle but not his nephew. However, I guess you have to be grateful for what you can get. PS I know many people get no bereavement pay at all and will wonder what I am complaining about here. Like I said the family and my brother are very pleased he is getting what he is getting. However he and I did talk about what an odd policy it is and I thought I would tell my allnurses friends about our conversation.
That is terrible.When my grandfather died earlier this year, I had only been at my job for 5 months, I was given 3 days bereavement leave. I know that I called HR, and filled out a notice and gave it to my unit coordinator, but never any hassle about who the leave was for.
You work for a compassionate employer who values their staff enough to keep them happy. Most organizations have rules that are forged from past experiences with staff. I was a manager for a large healthcare organization. They had very specific rules pertaining to bereavement. I could, however, allow someone to take annual leave for a funeral if the deceased did not fit the "immediate family" requirement. You cannot fully appreciate the need for rules until you have been responsible for critical staffing and had to listen to the excuses of staff trying to call out. You will have folks apply for bereavement leave because their neighbor's cousin-in-law is dead. 75% of my staff was wonderful, but those who try to take advantage of the rules mess it up for all of us. Because workforce is usually the greatest expense of any business, it is a prime target for monitoring and economizing.
When my mother died I was not given any hassle but when my uncle died I was put through a mess. He and I were raised as brother and sister, so when the obit was first published it was listed that way in the paper. His one sister, a troublemaker who never had time for him or anyone else, called that paper and complained. The paper called the funeral home, and the director told them to let the obit stand. The sister got a modified obit published listing her as sister and me as a niece. Well, the boss asked me about the mess. I told her he was my brother, it was not open for discussion, and I would either take PTO or no pay but I would be off for his wake/funeral. She made some remarks about the time, I pointed out to her that I had over 4 weeks of vacation and the limit of sick time in my bank. I was not a person who missed work, so I felt I was deserving of this time. She did not like it but she gave me the time. That and many other circumstances like it were the reason I left that job. Our hearts tell us who our family is, and its often not written down on paper. I often shake my head in surprise when a facility expects us to show compassion and caring to others and then we are given none in our times of need.
I have to say that when my mother was killed, I took two weeks off. Didn't have enough vacation time to cover it all, but got my 3 days pay and all the extra days off without any whining.
When my nephew died and his funeral was on my first day on a job, I took that day off with no whining, but I got no pay.
When my grandparents died, I got paid 3 days bereavement each time. Although they did call my cell phone during the wake and asked my sister who answered if I could come into work later. She said in her most very stern/angry schoolteacher voice, very cold, "NO! We are at the funeral home and I AM NOT telling her you called!" and hung up on them!!!!
But that particular facility had a policy of no bereavement days/pay for a grandchild. So in that instance I took off an entire week, and got not one cent for it.
We dont have bereavement/sick/holiday etc. We have PTO thats it. A pretty nice PTO plan but for what ever when ever you need off you take PTO pay.
We have a very similar system. I like it and I don't. You basically earn the equivalent of 1 two week pay period per year. You earn vacation time for each hour that you work, so if you work 80 hours per pay period, you earn 80 hours time off per year. I'm not sure that I like that, because if you go on vacation for a week, and then get sick, you'd be down to a couple of days. What if there was an emergency. And you have to save up the time before you can even get sick! I generally keep 2 weeks saved up in my time bank, but I know a lot of people who struggle - think about the people who have young kids who get sick all the time. But then, it's nice as far as being able to take a random day off whenever you want to (though you have to schedule it like a month in advance, so I'm not sure you can call that "random", haha!)
As for bereavement, I think our policy is for parents/siblings/spouses/kids/grandpaents. I think anyone else you can go but you get no bereavement pay. You get 24 hours of pay for the people on the list - either 3 8s or 2 12s. You are allowed to take as much time as you need but you can't get more than 3 paid days.
I will give my hospital a little credit, they let me take off as much time as I needed. They were all there when my nephew died, at our hospital, my nursing supervisor is the one that called me and told me I needed to get up there, I was already to late, but I got to sit with him for a long time and my sister after he died and our DON came back in after she had just got home about 50 miles away, they were really good about it all. But, it is not everyday that we have a 6 year old die in this way in our ER, He was backed over numerous times by a truck, ( sorry if that is TMI). I know they did the best they could do, and I knew all the nurses that took care of him. It was just like seeing my dad all over again, they died in the same room Trauma 2. thanks for listening, sorry so long.
TheCommuter, BSN, RN
102 Articles; 27,612 Posts
I have worked at places that offer no bereavement pay under any circumstances. If I wish to attend someone's funeral, I must dip into my PTO time or take unpaid time off.