"What do you need Christmas off for? You don't have kids!" (rant)

RN34TX · Oct 7, 2005

Marie, I confess that I'm guilty of it in reverse:

I always work Christmas in hopes of always having New Years off.

I once told a nurse "You're a suburban mother with 3 young children. What the heck do you need New Years off for? How much New Years fun could you possibly have?"

But that was all in fun, not like your situation, and she ironically was scheduled to be off New Years and I was off Christmas, so of course we switched.

I've gotten the "no kids" attitude myself in different situations. The message that I always get is that my life basically doesn't matter because I have no children. They try to pull that in my neck of the woods during hurricane season. I guess because I have no kids, it's just assumed that no one would really miss me if I were gone, and that I really don't matter on planet Earth except to save patients during emergencies.

SmilingBluEyes · Oct 7, 2005

Hmmmmm....

does it NEVER occur to such whiney nurses who *PROCLAIM* they celebrate Christmas (and therefore must be Christian?) their PATIENTS and family members are "celebrating" Christmas in a less-than-optimal way, being sick and in the hospital???! Who *wants* to be there during a holy holiday? Exactly NOBODY, but the patients don't have their health or a choice...nurses, however, generally have both......where is their gratitude?

Does that not occur to them ever? I mean, they ought to be grateful to be healthy and have WORK at the holidays, unlike many others less fortunate. Sheesh. :angryfire

MamaTheNurse, BSN, RN · Oct 7, 2005

I usually work every Christmas, when I am in the US. It is not my holiday and I don't have kids, and I like to let someone be off and with their family. I am not required to do so, but always will volunteer, but if someone approached me with that attitude?? I would be at home watching movies with my kids, just on principle. And they can't read a calendar.

BTW, this post is intriguing - can I ask: if you are not in the US, where are you? also, why isn't Christmas your holiday? I'm sorry if I seem nosy......... :coollook:

irshnrse · Oct 7, 2005

It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.
Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire
It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.
I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."
In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.

I have a child (15yrs) and I am single (15yrs) and I have never even thought of saying something like that. "Because I have kids" should never be an excuse. Personally, I think a comment like that (though insulting to you) is very insulting to someone like me as well. This is going to sound pretty rude and catty, but oh well. Maybe this woman needs to be a school nurse where she has all the holidays off or a physician's office. :rolleyes:

NurseyBaby'05, BSN, RN · Oct 7, 2005

I don't think I would have dignified my response with an explaination. It would have been:

"I can't. I'm sorry."

As a nurse, I know I'm going to be working my fair share of holidays. If it was going to be a real problem, I would have stayed at the bank. Unfortunately, it's part of the package. No bankers hours here.

No kids does not equal no friends and family and no life outside of work. :angryfire When I have kids would I love to spend every holiday with them at my own leisurely pace? Of course! The other thing I hate is when people say "When you have kids, you'll understand." I understand the concept perfectly now,

(people would rather not spend the holidays at work DUH!)

Purple Princess · Oct 7, 2005

while working as a cna at this one nursing home. the other aides all said the new people should work all the holidays. and i was lucky to get christmas off. this other girl just kept following me around wanting me to fill in for her and i didn't want to, she got mad. she felt it was more important for her to spend time with her baby and husband than my spending time with my family. she ended up calling off anyhow. but yes it irks me too that people with kids think they should be so privileged. i could see it if they knew their child was dying and that would be their last christmas definately i would give the day up for circumstances like that but no just because they have kids they're lives are not more valuable than mine. i'm not a nobody just because i don't have kids.

hospitalstaph · Oct 7, 2005

It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.
Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire
It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.
I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."
In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.

My heart goes out to you on the recent loss of your brother. While I am not a nurse yet, I previously worked in a casino that was of course open on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. This was before I had children. Yes, the kids enjoy Christmas, but it is really the adults that insist that it be celebrated on Dec 25th! My kids would be happier if Santa came on Dec 1st! When I worked in the casino, I did not want to work holidays either! Who does? But you deserve the day off just as much as the next person. Her children will not be traumatized for life by mom being gone on Christmas day. For someone with such strong feelings about Christmas, she sure doesn't ACT very christian:)

Tracy

BittyBabyGrower, MSN, RN · Oct 7, 2005

I have kids and I have never used that one. Geez...hello, when you go into nursing you know the hospital doesn't close of weekends and holidays, so suck it up or go work at Target. I would have told that chick off. :devil:

psalm, RN · Oct 7, 2005

...I am glad that you will be with family, you deserve the break and AS A CHILD of grieving parents/family your time off is especially important for all. As an aside, I would "pity" your co-worker, that she has such little compassion for your and your family's needs right now. someday she may realize how she sounded but until she does, oh well.

DusktilDawn · Oct 7, 2005

Years ago a remark was made by a co-worker that went something like this: "I don't understand why the single people can't work the holidays, they don't have kids."

My response to that remark was: "You know when I turned 18 a house didn't fall on all my family and friends thus annilhating them, I may not have kids, but I have family that I do like to spend holidays with also and I am entitled to that just as much as you are."

A few co-workers approached me after (those with kids even) and gave me the good for you comments for standing up for myself.

Schedules for holidays should be done fairly for all. Same with weekends. We all have a life outside of work.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 7, 2005

That comment was unnecessarily. People with kids use guilt trips and that's show their own emotional immaturity. Kudos to you for standing your ground.

I remember a thread I started a couple of years ago about this same topic when a co-worker said she should get priority over having the holidays off because she had little kids. Her sense of entitlement irritated me. I don't have kids, but I have family out of town and a "family" of my own here, and I might want to have a Christimas celebration too.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad's brother.

Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN · Oct 7, 2005

Things of it is, i at least temporarily thought "am i going to feel differently if i have children". Really, no i wouldn't, since i wouldn't be the only one WITH kids.

When i made a call to work late last night to find out what room i'm scheduled in today, it turns out i'm scheduled with this woman. Oh, this day ought to be interesting. :) I'm thinking i might inform her to never approach me about any of my days off again.