Friends at work?

Published

Just the other day I heard someone say she didn't come to work to make new friends and that comment kind of stuck with me. How do you see that? According to her, every other person says something, but when she does, these same friends run along and are the first to turn her in.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice.

I have many friends at work, the only one I have a problem with is someone who came in very close, very quickly and then, I think (still working on this one), doesn't see eye to eye on me in care standards.

I think it really depends on how someone defines "friend". Is it someone who helps you turn a patient, watches your team for you on break, and chats you up on Facebook? Personally that is what is it about for me when it comes to work friends.

What kind of friend is she worried about "turning her in"? The kind that doesn't cover her trail up with her? What the heck is she doing in the first place for that to be such an apparent concern?

Tait

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'm not exactly sure, but from what I gathered, I think she meant as in, trying to keep a close friend when all the while, they're looking for ways to do her in. I told her simply to listen well and then shut up more.

That's me here, I listen more than I talk- it keeps you more out of trouble that way.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in home health, dialysis, others.

I'm confused. Some people simply want to maintain professional relationships, some would like a more personal relationship with their coworkers. Are you saying that the 'friends' a person makes in the workplace are simply looking to stab you in the back? They aren't 'friends' then, are they? I am SO confused!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Addictions, Acute Psychiatry.

cause she's diverting and wants to be isolated so no one knows?

Seriously, I never made friends and never went out socially anywhere until pressured like MAD my 7th year of nursing. I dunno but I didn't want friends I worked with based on what I'd seen; I wanted other friends and had em. I think it's the catty thing that bit me early on and seeing what happened to others outside work and how it affected their JOB inside work...the talk talk and gossip then (surprisingly) the consequences....like a little clique. It's better to be separate and be professional and not cross that line, I learned. Those are my thoughts.

I did, however break down and go camping for a week with everyone cause I was harassed so much! Some drunk guys stole our canoes, someone called the cops...fast forward an hour two cops were being beat up by the drunks (at a state park) and losing; one was trying to drown the cop so I jumped in to help and for some reason I was the bad guy while our entire unit looked on. I called for some of the guys to come help but I was alone. I was also in the military and didn't care what happened to me, I just saw a guy grabbing at one cops gun and another being drowned so I had to do something and fast and took directions to do whatever the cop told me to (hit him with my flashlight, hold him down, get my cuffs-while fighting off two guys). They talked about it and talked about it for months after and not in a good light. I tried to never go out socially again. I don't like personal mixed with work when I want to be seen as a professional. Too much catty crap for me I never have with outside-work non nursing friends.

I did hang around with the RT's and unit clerks though. Something about the nurses that would always bite me (competition? I haven't a clue)!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I try to get along with everyone at work. There are some people I would consider friends - we chat, we have lunch together, we hang out on our days off, and we work great as a team. Others I find we don't mesh well and I keep it strictly professional.

I like to keep a balance. I've seen the nurses who isolate themselves and are essentially the "black sheep" and those who are really social and hang out with doctors outside of work. I like being in between.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.

I love my friends at work. They are awesome. We are a family--dysfunctional at times, but we ultimately love each other.

I couldn't work somewhere I would hate to be

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in MSP, Informatics.

I took a charge nurse seminar once, and they said don't fall into the trap of having anyone under you a friend.... I thought that was awful. We are all professionals, or should be.... I have been good friends with managers that had to council me. That is part of the job.

I don't think that everyone I have to put 8 or 12 hrs in with should or has to be my friend. But many are.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

There is no official definition of a "friend".

I didn't come to work to make friends. That does not mean I am not open to friendship or that I am cold or unfriendly, it just means that looking for friends is not at the top of my priority list right now.

Your friends comment about being turned in is often the result of being too open and trusting with the wrong people.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, Med-SURG,STICU.

I am friendly with the people that I work with, but I would not call them my friends. Too many of the people I work with are power hungery and they will step all over you to get to the top.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I decided quite some time ago to be friendly at work and try to get along with everyone (not always easy), but I don't expect to make real friends at work. Too much work politics, backbiting and backstabbing, that sort of thing. It's actually better to have a circle of friends and acquaintances that have nothing to do with where you work, just to balance your life out. That's my belief anyway....

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

When I was a staff nurse, I was so stinkin' busy, there was little time for chitchat.

As an APN, I do count my peers as friends - we are a pretty tightly knit group!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion