Flu shot/husband-looking for advice, not to debate

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Hi All,

I know this is a controversial subject but I'm not looking to stir up a debate. There are several threads on flu shots but I couldn't find one that quite addressed my concern, so I apologize in advance. I always try to look at vaccine debates objectively, and of course risk vs benefit.

I have always had flu shots without problems. My husband is 37 years old and has never had the flu, and has never had a flu shot. Interestingly he has never had a cold, (maybe once as a small child which he wouldn't remember). He flies 2x/per week for work, and still rarely ever gets sick. Every other time I fly, I get sick.

I am 17 weeks pregnant, first child, and I believe he should get the flu shot to protect me and our child when she arrives in March. I also believe he should get flu shots every year in the future because we will have young kid(s). He is not opposed to it, he is just asking hard but fair questions.

Why do I need it if I've never had the flu? I have a strong immune system (this is true) and it doesn't guarantee I won't get the flu, it only protects against a few strains. Yes, but it will minimize symptoms if you get a different strain. Also as we age our immune systems weaken. Is this enough though?

Of course he has good points, but I fear with Murphy's law he'll get the shot on my request and then also get the flu later this winter. I'm also nervous to introduce the flu shot to his system never having had it before. Any flu shot "experts" out there? I want to feel 100% comfortable asking him to do this :-) Of course, it's his decision, but he wants to do what's best for our family. Thanks!

Specializes in PICU, Sedation/Radiology, PACU.

Many people do not understand the difference between gastroenteritis (stomach flu) and influenza. Real influenza is a serious respiratory illness and kills many people each year- particularly the old, young, and immunocompromised. The flu shot does not cause the flu. Some people do have an immune response to the vaccination characterized by mild cold-like symptoms. There is no increased risk for reaction if someone has never had the flu shot before. The flu vaccine is developed each year based on what is predicted to be the most prevalent strains, but it doesn't cover everything one. If someone gets influenza after getting the flu shot, it doesn't mean that the flu shot didn't work. It means that they likely contracted a different strain of the virus.

Encourage your husband to do some research and talk to his doctor. We can't provide medical advice here, and whether your husband should receive the flu shot is something he needs to decide in conjunction with his doctor based on his medical history and present circumstances.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.

We cannot give medical/flu shot advice. This is between you and your husband.

Hi All,

I know this is a controversial subject but I'm not looking to stir up a debate. There are several threads on flu shots but I couldn't find one that quite addressed my concern, so I apologize in advance. I always try to look at vaccine debates objectively, and of course risk vs benefit.

I have always had flu shots without problems. My husband is 37 years old and has never had the flu, and has never had a flu shot. Interestingly he has never had a cold, (maybe once as a small child which he wouldn't remember). He flies 2x/per week for work, and still rarely ever gets sick. Every other time I fly, I get sick.

I am 17 weeks pregnant, first child, and I believe he should get the flu shot to protect me and our child when she arrives in March. I also believe he should get flu shots every year in the future because we will have young kid(s). He is not opposed to it, he is just asking hard but fair questions.

Why do I need it if I've never had the flu? I have a strong immune system (this is true) and it doesn't guarantee I won't get the flu, it only protects against a few strains. Yes, but it will minimize symptoms if you get a different strain. Also as we age our immune systems weaken. Is this enough though?

Of course he has good points, but I fear with Murphy's law he'll get the shot on my request and then also get the flu later this winter. I'm also nervous to introduce the flu shot to his system never having had it before. Any flu shot "experts" out there? I want to feel 100% comfortable asking him to do this :-) Of course, it's his decision, but he wants to do what's best for our family. Thanks!

Congratulations on the new arrival! I am not an expert on the flu vaccine. If hubby gets the vaccine, it will not protect him from all strains of the virus, but it's an excellent start. The attenuated virus will not cause the flu.

I have a son about that age, that never had the flu, or a flu vaccine. He contracted flu for the first time last year.. was down for the count with fever, body aches, nausea and vomiting for 10 days. He is first in line for his vaccination this year.

I was vaccinated, guess who took care of him for the 10 days?

Best wishes.

Prior to working in health care I never had the flu or a flu shot. I never worried about it. I now have flu shots because I'm required to. If it wasn't required I still wouldn't. Ps I've had the flu twice since then. Personally I don't blame it on the flu shot. I blame it on increased exposure and stress. Who knows though maybe I would have had it five times if I didn't have the shot.

I personally do not think that the shots are all that helpful. There are too many different strains and every year you hear about the match %.

It never would have occurred to me to have my spouse get one unless he was prone to respiratory infections. To each their own. If it makes you more comfortable and he doesn't care get it.

Congratulations on the new arrival! I am not an expert on the flu vaccine. If hubby gets the vaccine, it will not protect him from all strains of the virus, but it's an excellent start. The attenuated virus will not cause the flu.

I have a son about that age, that never had the flu, or a flu vaccine. He contracted flu for the first time last year.. was down for the count with fever, body aches, nausea and vomiting for 10 days. He is first in line for his vaccination this year.

I was vaccinated, guess who took care of him for the 10 days?

Best wishes.

The attenuated virus can cause illness, especially if someone is immunocompromised. The IM vaccine is dead, nasal spray is ALV. I don't think the nasal spray is being used this flu season though.

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

If he never gets sick it seems reasonable to avoid it.

Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

My thing with the "it only protects against some strains" line is not getting the shot protects against zero strains.

The risk with the shot is minimal; the risk with influenza for a newborn can be devastating.

You could always ask your OB provider at an appointment -- with your husband present. That way he can ask him/her the hard questions and deflect some of the heat off of yourself. ;)

Congratulations on the baby!

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I would direct this question to your OB/GYN. None of us are experts, doctors, or immunologists. Good luck and congratulations.

I have always had flu shots without problems. My husband is 37 years old and has never had the flu, and has never had a flu shot. Interestingly he has never had a cold, (maybe once as a small child which he wouldn't remember). He flies 2x/per week for work, and still rarely ever gets sick. Every other time I fly, I get sick.

If he flies that often, he spends a lot of time with a lot of people inside a tin can rebreathing their used air and respiratory secretions (yeah, sorry). If he never gets sick, what does that tell you? RIGHT! He has made antibodies to just about every respiratory-based virus ever evolved. Lucky him! If you fly infrequently, you're exposed to things your immune system hasn't seen much of, so sometimes you have an opportunity to educate it. :)

Interestingly, the reason colds and other flu-like bugs (which are not influenza) are so prevalent after holidays and in September is because of all the mass travel that occurs-- people who have had their colds and developed their immune response to the local viruses are suddenly mixed up with a lot of other people who are immune to the prevailing viruses in their areas. They all swap, LOL. (People who live in small populations on remote islands get sick when furriners visit-- remember measles in the native population when explorers landed?)

Why do I need it if I've never had the flu? I have a strong immune system (this is true) and it doesn't guarantee I won't get the flu, it only protects against a few strains. Yes, but it will minimize symptoms if you get a different strain. Also as we age our immune systems weaken. Is this enough though?

No, an influenza vaccine will not "minimize symptoms if you get a different strain." If you are of childbearing age and normally healthy, it's a few decades to early to worry about weakening immune system with aging-- and even that doesn't condemn all elders to deaths by infectious disease, does it?

I fear with Murphy's law he'll get the shot on my request and then also get the flu later this winter. I'm also nervous to introduce the flu shot to his system never having had it before.

Murphy's law is facetious, a joke, you understand that, right? It's not really a real "law."

It sounds as if by your description you are both well-positioned to handle respiratory-borne illnesses quite well, and your children probably will be too. You probably already know that babies carry their mothers immunities in their early lives, especially if they are breastfed (so that's one thing you can do that is proven to be beneficial). They develop their own as they age, get out in the communities and get exposed to infectious agents. That's really the best way to develop a robust immune system.

OK, so babies and children are pretty miserable when they have colds and other respiratory-borne illnesses. But normally healthy children recover promptly and go on to be stronger. My kids had what seemed like permanent gross snot-noses for about three years and lived quite well. And other than chicken pox, for which there was no vaccine then, they pretty much never got sick again. As adults now they are still very healthy, because I let them get dirty, play with animals (research shows those kids have much lower incidence of atopy (eczema) and other allergic conditions...another bonus) get colds, and didn't stress about it.

You already know that what most people call "flu" are not influenza, and as such are not prevented by a single or even triple-strain influenza vaccine. In my opinion, you and your husband can take a pass on the hysteria and live your lives.

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Best advice - how about contacting your husband's provider and/or your infant's pediatrician.

hahaha of course I know Murphy's law is not an actual law, I'm saying luck will have it....not that it's actually going to happen but if the stars align he'll get the flu for the first time because I asked him to get the shot.

I'm not looking for medical advice, I'm looking for vaccine opinions of fellow nurses because I value the opinions of educated, well experienced nurses. I have spoke to his provider and my ob, it's always the same answer without much thought or explanation. My hurried and rushed experiences with physicians as a patient has somewhat tarnished my trust with them. Thank you for those of you who have posted and for your anecdotal evidence.

+ Add a Comment