First time fired by family

[invictus, BSN]

Hello all!

So this is mostly to get this off my chest, it is really bothering me. I discovered that a patient's family have lodged a complaint against me, and requested that I not ever take care of their mother again. I think what is the most difficult to process is that I had NO sense of their issues with me during my whole 12 hour shift; it was only the next day when I learned of them. They complained that I was rude when communicating with them. In hindsight I think this had to do with many communication issues I had with them throughout the shift. For example the family (all of whom are ESL) were under the impression that the patients foley catherter would be removed, and a new one reinserted. I received no written or verbal report on this issue, and could not find any order or indication to do so. I explained this to the family repeatedly as they kept asking when this would happened. I also repeatedly explained the risk of infection with reinsertion. They seemed to understand by the end of the day, but apparently were upset that I never did it!

Also, this family is quite large, and there are always multiple visitors at bedside, along with a lot of their stuff. It was a 4 patient room and very crowded. As such I was constantly asking them to please move themselves/belongings out of the way, and at one point had to explain why we could have all their things and them constantly in the room (example: family had brought in a Lawn chair that was blocking the emergency suction equipment!).

Lastly, I had to insert an entube for feeding, and made the mistake of allowing 2 family members to remain at bedside during insertion. Although everything went well, they appeared horrified with the process, and I would later learn claimed I was overly aggressive.

All these things are just in hindsight; as I said during the day, I had no sense that the family was finding me rude/unprofessional/uncaring, all of which are words in the complaint they lodged against me.

I'm a new graduate, working just under a year and this is my first time experiencing something like this and I'm just super stressed and bummed out about it. Luckily I have pretty supportive management and I'm not too worried about having to eventually discuss this with them, but am worried about making some sort of permanent black mark on my employment record. Also just feel crappy about the fact that this family "fired" me and felt that I took such poor care of their mother ☹️

[AnnieOaklyRN, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

I wouldn't take it personally.

I would however get a translator if English is not their primary language, and use the translator so they can better understand. This may have been the bigger issue.

Annie

[brownbook]

I doubt if you're the first, and I know you won't be the last, in a long line of nurses fired by this family.

I'm terrible at explaining difficult situations. Maybe another Allnurses poster can advise you what to say if an employer asks anything about this incident.

Glad your management is supportive, that's great.

[ItsThatJenGirl, CNA]

Don't take it personally. You won't mesh with everyone.

I got "fired" from a patient for checking to see if he needed his brief changed. His family claimed I was a pervert. I mean that's literally my job (PCT). People are weird.

[meanmaryjean, DNP, RN]

I used to get fired by families at least once a month for really serious violations like not letting them smoke in the bathroom or asking them to move their open cups of Mt. Dew out of the path between the door and the monitor.

Welcome to the club- I would not give this another moment's thought. Seriously

[Daisy4RN]

I would not worry about it, this happens all the time. When I was charge we simply didn't ever assign that nurse to that patient again and it rarely even went to management. Families will complain about whatever they can and it rarely has no basis in the actual care given. Some just don't understand no matter how many times you explain, and some just like to cause trouble (for whatever reason). And, since the push for customer service they now feel entitled to just about everything (like having lawn chairs in the room and then getting mad when asked to move them). If it goes to management I would just simply explain what you said here (you didn't realize there was a problem etc) but after the fact you see how you can improve next time around (like Annie said) maybe a translator, maybe ask the family to step outside for procedures, mention something about improving your communication skills, maybe check with MD and then reassure pt/family that you did check and MD doesn't want foley changed today, etc. I am not saying you did anything wrong, just options to say to management. I am afraid you are just going to have to get used to this kind of 'customer complaint' but don't take it personally or feel that it has anything to do with your nursing care, yes sometimes it might, but usually that is not the case.

[Ashley_SF, BSN]

I wouldn't take it personally.

I would however get a translator if English is not their primary language, and use the translator so they can better understand. This may have been the bigger issue.

Annie

I think this may be the issue. Although we never want to generalize and make assumptions, some cultures, i.e. many Hispanic cultures, have large and involved families. Taking into considering the patient's culture when providing care allows us to better serve our patients. Something that may have seemed innocuous and unimportant to you may be the opposite to your patient and his/her family.

When caring for patients, especially those with very involved families I attempt to explain everything I'm doing and advise the patient/family to stop me with any questions. I also highly recommend a translator, especially where there's an issue like the foley incident you spoke of.

I wouldn't beat yourself up over this one incident. Rather, use it as a learning opportunity. We can be the kindest and most accommodating people in the world, but sometimes people just won't like you. Prioritize delivering safe, competent care and strive to learn from every negative outcome.

You're self aware and seeking guidance and support following an unfavorable outcome. You're doing a great job!

[cleback]

Can't win them all.

Whenever a patient fires a nurse on my unit, the other nurses get jealous. Afterall, now they have to deal with the difficult ones... at least, until they are fired too.

[LovingLife123]

Sometimes, I fire myself. Haaaaa!!! And that is the best decision ever.

Honestly, I wouldn't give it another thought. Sometimes you can't win no matter what.

[Possum_RN]

I'm so sorry you're going though this - it's stressful, and hurts. I've had this happen, I think all of us have.

Often, patients and family are stressed, and just looking for something concrete at which to direct their feelings. That's often the caregiver.

It's important to do some introspection (as you have) and try to see things from the family's point-of-view to identify if there is anything you might keep in mind for the future (such as clearing ALL family out before an invasive procedure, as you identified).

Keeping ahold of it too much will burn you out: if you've thought about what might have led to this event, reflected on your actions, and decided your care and handling was not to blame, it's time to let it go. If management asks about it, say what you've said here: you've reflected, identified ways to improve outcomes, and will continue to learn and grow.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Hello all!

So this is mostly to get this off my chest, it is really bothering me. I discovered that a patient's family have lodged a complaint against me, and requested that I not ever take care of their mother again. I think what is the most difficult to process is that I had NO sense of their issues with me during my whole 12 hour shift; it was only the next day when I learned of them. They complained that I was rude when communicating with them. In hindsight I think this had to do with many communication issues I had with them throughout the shift. For example the family (all of whom are ESL) were under the impression that the patients foley catherter would be removed, and a new one reinserted. I received no written or verbal report on this issue, and could not find any order or indication to do so. I explained this to the family repeatedly as they kept asking when this would happened. I also repeatedly explained the risk of infection with reinsertion. They seemed to understand by the end of the day, but apparently were upset that I never did it!

Also, this family is quite large, and there are always multiple visitors at bedside, along with a lot of their stuff. It was a 4 patient room and very crowded. As such I was constantly asking them to please move themselves/belongings out of the way, and at one point had to explain why we could have all their things and them constantly in the room (example: family had brought in a Lawn chair that was blocking the emergency suction equipment!).

Lastly, I had to insert an entube for feeding, and made the mistake of allowing 2 family members to remain at bedside during insertion. Although everything went well, they appeared horrified with the process, and I would later learn claimed I was overly aggressive.

All these things are just in hindsight; as I said during the day, I had no sense that the family was finding me rude/unprofessional/uncaring, all of which are words in the complaint they lodged against me.

I'm a new graduate, working just under a year and this is my first time experiencing something like this and I'm just super stressed and bummed out about it. Luckily I have pretty supportive management and I'm not too worried about having to eventually discuss this with them, but am worried about making some sort of permanent black mark on my employment record. Also just feel crappy about the fact that this family "fired" me and felt that I took such poor care of their mother ☹️

Congratulations -- now you're officially one of us!

If you haven't been "fired" at least once, you're doing something wrong. If every family likes you, then you aren't enforcing the rules of the unit (which is unkind to your fellow nurses.)

Seriously, I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's just one of those things.

[jaderook01, BSN, RN]

Congratulations -- now you're officially one of us!

If you haven't been "fired" at least once, you're doing something wrong. If every family likes you, then you aren't enforcing the rules of the unit (which is unkind to your fellow nurses.)

Seriously, I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's just one of those things.

The first time it happened to me, everyone at the nurses' station congratulated me and told me that I was a real nurse now. Ha!