So this is mostly to get this off my chest, it is really bothering me. I discovered that a patient's family have lodged a complaint against me, and requested that I not ever take care of their mother again. I think what is the most difficult to process is that I had NO sense of their issues with me during my whole 12 hour shift; it was only the next day when I learned of them. They complained that I was rude when communicating with them. In hindsight I think this had to do with many communication issues I had with them throughout the shift. For example the family (all of whom are ESL) were under the impression that the patients foley catherter would be removed, and a new one reinserted. I received no written or verbal report on this issue, and could not find any order or indication to do so. I explained this to the family repeatedly as they kept asking when this would happened. I also repeatedly explained the risk of infection with reinsertion. They seemed to understand by the end of the day, but apparently were upset that I never did it!
Also, this family is quite large, and there are always multiple visitors at bedside, along with a lot of their stuff. It was a 4 patient room and very crowded. As such I was constantly asking them to please move themselves/belongings out of the way, and at one point had to explain why we could have all their things and them constantly in the room (example: family had brought in a Lawn chair that was blocking the emergency suction equipment!).
Lastly, I had to insert an entube for feeding, and made the mistake of allowing 2 family members to remain at bedside during insertion. Although everything went well, they appeared horrified with the process, and I would later learn claimed I was overly aggressive.
All these things are just in hindsight; as I said during the day, I had no sense that the family was finding me rude/unprofessional/uncaring, all of which are words in the complaint they lodged against me.
I'm a new graduate, working just under a year and this is my first time experiencing something like this and I'm just super stressed and bummed out about it. Luckily I have pretty supportive management and I'm not too worried about having to eventually discuss this with them, but am worried about making some sort of permanent black mark on my employment record. Also just feel crappy about the fact that this family "fired" me and felt that I took such poor care of their mother ☹ï¸
I was overly bothered the first time a family fired me as well. I hadn't had any inkling that they had a problem with me, then come back the next day to find out that my assignment has been changed at the family's request. Ouch.
Shake it off. Do you know that you did your best to provide good nursing care? Hang on to that knowledge and move on to the next patient.
Also, this family is quite large, and there are always multiple visitors at bedside, along with a lot of their stuff. It was a 4 patient room and very crowded. As such I was constantly asking them to please move themselves/belongings out of the way, and at one point had to explain why we could have all their things and them constantly in the room (example: family had brought in a Lawn chair that was blocking the emergency suction equipment!).
This is going a little off-topic but I wanted to mention that sometimes when we tolerate ridiculousness we get even more of it, including complaints that might otherwise be avoided. It's just one of those phenomena. I've wondered at times if it doesn't have to something to do with people losing confidence (subconsciously) when they are allowed too much control in situations they ultimately don't have the knowledge to handle. Things get out of control and they feel out of control to the family (even if they're the ones who are kind of problematic), and they will blame the nurse who may appear to not have a handle on things, including critiquing skills, attitudes, and the whole ball of wax. Anyway, my theorizing aside, don't be afraid to kindly set appropriate limits and maintain them.
Agree with the interpreter angle, too. People deserve to be well-informed and it really helps decrease anxiety in most cases.
Best wishes ~ it sounds like you worked hard on this patient's behalf. :)
Thank you all so much for taking time to write out responses;they genuinely helped sooth my wrecked nerves some. I had a chance to talk to management and they were very supportive and understanding. Basically I'm not in any actually "trouble". I just won't be that patients nurse again, which at this point is completely fine by me. Also helps knowing that this family have since "fired" another one of the nurses on the unit, meaning they've now been through 2 nurses in the 4 days since the patients admission. I know that's not technically good news but it's helped me to not take the whole thing so incredibly personally.
Specializes in 25 years NICU 5 years Telephone Triage.
Thank you all so much for taking time to write out responses;they genuinely helped sooth my wrecked nerves some. I had a chance to talk to management and they were very supportive and understanding. Basically I'm not in any actually "trouble". I just won't be that patients nurse again, which at this point is completely fine by me. Also helps knowing that this family have since "fired" another one of the nurses on the unit, meaning they've now been through 2 nurses in the 4 days since the patients admission. I know that's not technically good news but it's helped me to not take the whole thing so incredibly personally.
Thank you all again!!
I would be glad they fired me. They sound inconsiderate because of all the people and stuff they have in the way. I have found that usually the families "win" in these situations. Honestly, I feel that management should sit down with families like this (with an interpreter) and politely tell them "All of our nurses are professional and fully capable of taking care of your mother. We don't allow families to fire nurses." End of story. But, I guess if they did this, then the family would treat the nurse badly. In my 28 years of being a nurse, I am just so tired of families being in control. I realize they have stress, etc, but there are rules in a hospital for a reason. When I first started in the NICU in 1990, we only allowed 2 people at the bedside. These days new NICUs have private rooms and 4-5 family members will show up. This causes more stress for the nurse who now has to navigate their way around the family to get to the patient. Nurses also have to answer tons of questions from all the family members. But management would rather get good customer satisfaction scores than be on the nurse's side.
Thank you all so much for taking time to write out responses;they genuinely helped sooth my wrecked nerves some. I had a chance to talk to management and they were very supportive and understanding. Basically I'm not in any actually "trouble". I just won't be that patients nurse again, which at this point is completely fine by me. Also helps knowing that this family have since "fired" another one of the nurses on the unit, meaning they've now been through 2 nurses in the 4 days since the patients admission. I know that's not technically good news but it's helped me to not take the whole thing so incredibly personally.
Thank you all again!!
Don't take it personal. In fact in the future, you may actually be happy to be fired by a patient or family. Some families and/or patient are just unreasonable and there will be times you have to put your foot down. In, this day and age, even Mother Teresa would be fired by some of these families/patients, lol. For future reference, when there is language barrier, make sure that a translator ( we use a language line at my hospital) is available to explain the plan of care to them.
I feel for ya. It happens to all of us. I have almost too-happy patients and family members sometimes, and rarely have angry/unhappy ones, but once in a while it doesn't matter WHAT you do, you're bad/wrong/incompetent/? in their eyes.
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Julius Seizure
1 Article; 2,282 Posts
I was overly bothered the first time a family fired me as well. I hadn't had any inkling that they had a problem with me, then come back the next day to find out that my assignment has been changed at the family's request. Ouch.
Shake it off. Do you know that you did your best to provide good nursing care? Hang on to that knowledge and move on to the next patient.