First Impressions Matter, B**ch!!!!

Nurses General Nursing

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:( Yanno, I always try to make a good first impression with patients and their families. It freakin' matters. It sets the whole tone, and it really makes a difference in what kind of rapport you can develop with your patients.

I had a special consult today in my recent quest re: possible ttc. The office nurse, the ONLY nurse btw, was a total rude, snotty little twit. This was a visit regarding which antidepressants I can and can't take during pregnancy. It was a one time consult, damn it. It had nothing to do with my physical health, no meds were going to be prescribed, NOTHING. MERELY A CONSULT OF THIS PARTICULAR DOC'S MEDICAL OPINION. NOTHING ELSE.

Office b**ch tells me as a part of her duties, each pt. gets BP/P/R and WEIGHT.......................................................

Folks, my DOG doesn't even know my weight, okay? I don't weigh for ANYBODY. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE. UNLESS MY MEDICATION IS WEIGHT BASED, YOU WILL NOT KNOW MY WEIGHT. PERIOD. END OF STORY. So I politely tell her I will decline weighing, and she looks at me, up and down, pursed lips, and says, "well, we do have women who just don't look, you know."

I wanted to smack her. I am immediately on the defensive. I have weight issues, okay, and I don't effing need her crap about "there are women who don't look." I wanted to say, "I'm sorry, B**CH, WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND????!!??" I told her NO again, and she proceeded with my vs. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo put off by her. I was just clawing at my purse, thinking a million different ugly things about her. When searching through my purse for my insurance card, I MADE SURE TO WHIP OUT MY NURSING LICENSE WHILE "SHUFFLING" THROUGH MY THINGS IN MY WALLET in hopes she'd see and know that she was not only being a snot to a patient she didn't know from ADAM, but to a FELLOW NURSE.

:( :( REFUSAL OF TREATMENT INCLUDES BEING ABLE TO REFUSE CERTAIN PROCEDURES, AND BEING WEIGHED IS ONE OF THEM. WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ALL THE OFFICE NURSES OUT THERE TO UNDERSTAND THIS????? I RESPECT MY PATIENTS' BOUNDARIES, WHY DO THESE PEOPLE GET SO PISSY WHEN I REFUSE TO WEIGH??? IT IS NONE OF YOUR FREAKIN' BUSINESS WHY OR WHY NOT I WEIGH, I SAID NO, NOW BACK THE F OFF.

Look, people. All you students and new nurses especially........PLEASE REMEMBER..........your patient can refuse whatever he/she wishes unless their is a COURT ORDER stating they are incompetent, and there is someone acting in their stead, OKAY??? Do not get all rude and snotty if someone refuses treatment. I had a patient yesterday that signed out AMA for familial reasons. Was I rude to her? NO. Did I disagree with her decision? YES. Did I reflect that in my treatment of her? NO. I told her, respectfully and politely, the risks of leaving, and encouraged her to return to the hospital if she has any further problems. Part of nursing is learning how to CONTROL YOUR OUTWARD APPEARANCE. You can be frustrated or put off. You can not like what someone is doing. But damn it, they teach you in nursing school (at least they taught MY class) how to friggin' watch your body language and facial expressions so as not to MAKE YOUR PATIENT FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

Please be aware of how you're coming off. It MATTERS. It MAKES A DIFFERENCE. BODY LANGUAGE, FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, AND TONE OF VOICE SAY A LOT MORE THAN THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. Please, people. Remember this.

Specializes in Everything except surgery.

You know what...I have never thought about giving someone a chance to write down what they're weight is.:cool: I will do this the next I see a pt. being uneasily with being asked this question. Good point Shay..:).

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Specializes in Psych, hospice, family practice.
Originally posted by BadBird

Why the he-- does a shrink need your weight?

Truth be known?......most likely for billing purposes. Docs can't bill for a comprehensive evaluation unless they cross all the t's and dot all the i's. (They at least have to ask I suppose to show they made the effort.)

Even so, shay, I support ya darlin!

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Originally posted by OBNURSEHEATHER

:confused:

I said, kindly and gently, "um, no I don't. Studies have shown that most people weight the same backwards as they do forwards, so I choose to stand backwards." :D

:chuckle :chuckle Heather, You crack me up, I wish I could have been witness to this. Thanks you educating me.

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Well dang Mary, ya learn something new every day. But honestly I have NEVER been asked my weight at a shrink's office. Ever. Okay, wait....once. My new shrink asked what I weighed on my first visit, and I told her no. She respected my answer and said that maybe when I trusted her more and we had a rapport I would be able to tell her. That's precisely why I luxlove.gif her.......she never pushes my boundaries.

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Thank you all for the reminder that nurses are not "in control" of their patients. As a relatively new nurse, I've had to remind myself that people can refuse treatment, even if they know it will hurt them . But it's still their decision and their life and my job is to offer info and support.

But I'll tell ya....sometimes it has required superhuman discipline to control my reactions!!!!!

I wish I would've known about this site a long time ago!

Shay, your description of what that nurse was probably saying in her mind when you refused the weight check had me rolling on the floor!!! As a former bulimic, I can TOTALLY understand your meaning!!!:roll

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Specializes in OB.

Of course you have the right to refuse ANY procedure. The nurse's only obligation at that point being to explain why it is needed so that she can document pt. teaching and pt. refusal. However, in regard to being asked about LMP (posted by another, I know) even if the pt states no sexual activity, this should be obtained. One ER doc I know believed a woman in her late 40's who claimed regular periods and no sexual activity - then diagnosed a term pregnancy by abdominal x-ray! After that every female 10 - 60 got a pregnancy test from her before any treatment!

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Specializes in Med-Surg Nursing.

Hi shay,

You have EVERY RIGHT to REFUSE! I myself, don't mind being weighed. I know I'm obese (I HATE THAT WORD!) but I'm also 5'9". I just think its funny that the DR office scale weighs me 10 lbs HEAVIER than my home scale.

I, too am ttc so I KNOW what you are experiencing first hand! I went to see a RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) affiliated with the Cleveland Clinic in July. I suffer from PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). I haven't had a period since June and that was because my Ob-Gyn gave me Prometrium to induce a period. Prior to that, I hadn't had a period since Sept 2001.

Any how, EVERYONE in the RE's office was very nice and professional! The MD was GREAT! I hope he is covered under my new insurance cause I really want to go back to him. He told me that if I wanted to get pregnant soon that I should quit smoking and take Clomid to induce ovulation after taking prometrium and checking to be sure that I'm not pregnant. Not once did he tell me that I needed to lose weight.

I believe that if I lose about 40-50 lbs then my period would return to normal but that still doesn't mean I'm ovulating. I want to have a child in the worst way. I'm 30 and hubby will be 40 next July and he wants one soon too so he can still play catch with him or her. It's not fair. Those that want a child can't have one and there are 17 yr olds having their second and third child and can't afford it.

God Bless you shay and keep fighting the good fight!

Love Kelly:)

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Specializes in OB.

I can understand having issues about weight - I've been fighting it all my life. I've sort of taken the attitude thing in a different direction (not better, just different). I put my weight right out there (182 currently), wear what I want to, and DARE anyone to make an issue of it. At my recent high school reunion, when observations were made about people's weight change, a friend and I decided we should charge people to have their photos taken next to us so they could look REALLY skinny! Besides, the fat kinda plumps out all the wrinkles.

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Specializes in Home Health.

This is a subject that also ticks me off! Yes, esp when in the OB while preg, they weigh you in front of everyoine, say it outloud, you are made to feel like cattle, and you already feel like a cow with those boobs heavy with milk, geez!!!

I went to a midwife for my preganancies, and at certain intervals, I had to be seen by the OB doc, just in case. That was where they did it. I refused to be weighed. They said but we really need your weight. I said if you think I am getting on this scale out in the open, and have you call my weight out loud, you can think again! She was so shocked and flustered!! She said, "But-" I cut her right off, "Just write 'patient refused' that should cover you."

Healther I have been on the scale backwards too, I would just rather not know how fluffy I am. :-)

You GO Shay!!!

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bagladyrn;

I think the same way. I don't have near the amount of wrinkles that others have.

I like the idea of charging fellow classmates to have their pictures taken with the fat members at reunions. That way it is way out in the open. It is sad that in some way we still haven't matured as much as we think we have when all we can do is compare ourselves to others physically instead of being glad to be together again.

I know my mom has a real difficult time going to the doctor's office due to her feeling like someone is going to pick on her about her weight.

I wonder if all the studies about obese or overweight people dying at earlier ages is really reflecting the real reason they die sooner. Maybe they don't go because they know something is going to be said about their weight (doesn't matter why they're going to the MD). If they feel that uncomfortable, I'm sure they are not going to go until they are at deaths door. And, just think they might have had something relatively easy to cure (or at least control and treat) if caught earlier and felt at ease coming regularly to the MD's office.

I know I don't go to the MD as often because I don't want to have to work through the crap about my weight. I know I'm overweight and I know they can't offer me a lot of help; so why go there?

I know this issue holds my mom back from going. She feels "If I'm going to be lectured at instead of cared for, why go."

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Shay, you should've told Ms Nursegoodbody she could estimate your wgt by quadrupleing her IQ...LR

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originally posted by nurs4kids

i can guess without asking...she was "perfectly sized", eh.

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duh!! of course!!! that, i think, is probably the most part that bothered me. i knew what she was thinking....the whole "look" said it all...."you fat girl, you need to be weighed so i can lecture you about how fat you are and feel my superior skinniness."

this comment especially hit home:

quote:

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in all honesty, the only time in my life that i've weighed exactly what the charts say i should, i was a raging bulemic. the docs would say "oh goody! you're just where you should be!"

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hah!! been there, done that!! i hear ya, sister!! and wouldn't you know, that's precisely when i felt the fattest. when i was horking up every blasted morsel that passed my lips, but by god, i was a size 4.

brownie, excellent post as well. being a patient is the best teacher. asking a pt. her weight is a normal question i must ask as well on labor and delivery, and lemme tell ya, whenever i get a patient who even halfway cringes and sort of sideways glances at her husband, i immediately get her a pen, a piece of paper, and cover it up so he can't read the number she wrote. they are eternally greatful.

last but not least, i must comment on this:

quote:

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what's next a rectal exam.

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eating disorders ---->very deep topic.

mayun shay....i feel like i need to apologize for that nurses behaivor. what's so salty about this scene is she probably hasn't a clue that she was being hella offensive. she'll keep stepping on patients toes untill somebody calls her on it.

you handled it shay. but, next time, if there is one? go off on her like she's a stepchild with blue hair. let her have it. sometimes a bold a$$ bark can help people regain common sense, or at minimum they realize you aren't simple sam and they chill with the nonsense they're trying to inflict.

take care of those feet...girlfriend! :)

(ps...yeah, yeah, yeah....i know my quote says love people and all...but i ain't mahatma, and its a challenge with numpskulls like the nurse mentioned in this post!)

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