First Impressions Matter, B**ch!!!!

Nurses General Nursing

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:( Yanno, I always try to make a good first impression with patients and their families. It freakin' matters. It sets the whole tone, and it really makes a difference in what kind of rapport you can develop with your patients.

I had a special consult today in my recent quest re: possible ttc. The office nurse, the ONLY nurse btw, was a total rude, snotty little twit. This was a visit regarding which antidepressants I can and can't take during pregnancy. It was a one time consult, damn it. It had nothing to do with my physical health, no meds were going to be prescribed, NOTHING. MERELY A CONSULT OF THIS PARTICULAR DOC'S MEDICAL OPINION. NOTHING ELSE.

Office b**ch tells me as a part of her duties, each pt. gets BP/P/R and WEIGHT.......................................................

Folks, my DOG doesn't even know my weight, okay? I don't weigh for ANYBODY. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE. UNLESS MY MEDICATION IS WEIGHT BASED, YOU WILL NOT KNOW MY WEIGHT. PERIOD. END OF STORY. So I politely tell her I will decline weighing, and she looks at me, up and down, pursed lips, and says, "well, we do have women who just don't look, you know."

I wanted to smack her. I am immediately on the defensive. I have weight issues, okay, and I don't effing need her crap about "there are women who don't look." I wanted to say, "I'm sorry, B**CH, WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND????!!??" I told her NO again, and she proceeded with my vs. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo put off by her. I was just clawing at my purse, thinking a million different ugly things about her. When searching through my purse for my insurance card, I MADE SURE TO WHIP OUT MY NURSING LICENSE WHILE "SHUFFLING" THROUGH MY THINGS IN MY WALLET in hopes she'd see and know that she was not only being a snot to a patient she didn't know from ADAM, but to a FELLOW NURSE.

:( :( REFUSAL OF TREATMENT INCLUDES BEING ABLE TO REFUSE CERTAIN PROCEDURES, AND BEING WEIGHED IS ONE OF THEM. WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ALL THE OFFICE NURSES OUT THERE TO UNDERSTAND THIS????? I RESPECT MY PATIENTS' BOUNDARIES, WHY DO THESE PEOPLE GET SO PISSY WHEN I REFUSE TO WEIGH??? IT IS NONE OF YOUR FREAKIN' BUSINESS WHY OR WHY NOT I WEIGH, I SAID NO, NOW BACK THE F OFF.

Look, people. All you students and new nurses especially........PLEASE REMEMBER..........your patient can refuse whatever he/she wishes unless their is a COURT ORDER stating they are incompetent, and there is someone acting in their stead, OKAY??? Do not get all rude and snotty if someone refuses treatment. I had a patient yesterday that signed out AMA for familial reasons. Was I rude to her? NO. Did I disagree with her decision? YES. Did I reflect that in my treatment of her? NO. I told her, respectfully and politely, the risks of leaving, and encouraged her to return to the hospital if she has any further problems. Part of nursing is learning how to CONTROL YOUR OUTWARD APPEARANCE. You can be frustrated or put off. You can not like what someone is doing. But damn it, they teach you in nursing school (at least they taught MY class) how to friggin' watch your body language and facial expressions so as not to MAKE YOUR PATIENT FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

Please be aware of how you're coming off. It MATTERS. It MAKES A DIFFERENCE. BODY LANGUAGE, FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, AND TONE OF VOICE SAY A LOT MORE THAN THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. Please, people. Remember this.

Originally posted by Waggy

But I'll tell ya....sometimes it has required superhuman discipline to control my reactions!!!!!

ITA....I have been veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery upset by what a lot of my patients do.....crap, ask me about druggie mommies some time!!! Even when I am sitting there, forced to care for this rotten, horrible, I-could-call-her-a-lot-worse-but-I-won't druggie momma, I am kind to her. And believe me, it is HARD. But me sitting there treating her like dirt will not only not do any good, but quite frankly, it's WRONG.

I have had to literally pray to God for the strength of character to give compassionate care to some of those women, but I GAVE IT. I did it. I gave her good care, then of course came straight here and pm'd my OB buds about how much I wanted to throttle her into next week :chuckle.

It's part of the job. You can't let your tone of voice and body language and facial expressions betray your negative inner thoughts and feelings about someone, and the nurse in question should have been ESPECIALLY mindful because not only was she getting her panties in a bunch over my refusing to weigh, but for God's sake she works in a PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE. The last place on Earth ANYONE wants to feel uncomfortable is THERE.

Well, thanks guys. I do feel a lot better now. And Rebecca, trust me, if I have to go back there, I will DEFINITELY go off on her if she shows her bony wrinkled butt again.

:chuckle

Shay you are right once you said no she should have respected your wishes and moved on.

Last time I went to my PCP the nurse weighed me and said "you lost a pound" Like that would make a difference when you are a sausage and egg biscuit away from 300. I said " I didn't mean to", cracked him up.

Pappy

Originally posted by bagladyrn

I can understand having issues about weight - I've been fighting it all my life. I've sort of taken the attitude thing in a different direction (not better, just different). I put my weight right out there (182 currently), wear what I want to, and DARE anyone to make an issue of it. At my recent high school reunion, when observations were made about people's weight change, a friend and I decided we should charge people to have their photos taken next to us so they could look REALLY skinny! Besides, the fat kinda plumps out all the wrinkles.

You go girl! :) We weigh the same...if we stand next to each other...would that mean we'd BOTH look skinny?

Specializes in Trauma acute surgery, surgical ICU, PACU.

I've been weighed as part of every routine exam with my GP, and also when I was referred to a gastroenterologist. Never bothered me. If you think about it, many parts of medical exams are very... "personal" and can leave a person feeling dehumanized if you aren't professional enough, etc. I fail to see why asking someone about the sensitive subject of weight is so much more horrific than asking them about anything else... I hate the way our society is so fat-paranoid. It's not some guy on the street asking to weigh you, it's a medical exam.

Specializes in Geriatrics/Oncology/Psych/College Health.

A good friend of mine not only refuses to be weighed (and she is a very "average" sized person), she also refuses to put on a gown if the circumstances don't warrant it, as it wouldn't in a situation like yours. Sometimes offices have this automatic routine set up; weigh, VS, strip, whether or not it's actually necessary. She feels that having to put on the paper gown disempowers her (is that a word? - you know what I'm trying to say) by placing her in subordinate position to the medical people (being nearly naked doesn't exactly imbue most of us with self-confidence.)

The horror! Patients standing up for themselves! It'll be anarchy!! ;)

Originally posted by pebbles

I've been weighed as part of every routine exam with my GP, and also when I was referred to a gastroenterologist. Never bothered me. If you think about it, many parts of medical exams are very... "personal" and can leave a person feeling dehumanized if you aren't professional enough, etc. I fail to see why asking someone about the sensitive subject of weight is so much more horrific than asking them about anything else... I hate the way our society is so fat-paranoid. It's not some guy on the street asking to weigh you, it's a medical exam.

Pebbles, obviously you've never had an eating disorder. :rolleyes:

Tell a rape victim that a pap smear is just a "medical exam." Tell a child vicitim of sex abuse that a male doctor who resembles their father is "just a medical practicioner."

Nice attitude. See my response to Molly. Carry on.

Shay thanks for pointing out a persons right as a patient. They have a right to refuse anytreatment. Hopefully the litle office MA will learn here lesson. as nurses we need to be aware of the patients bill of rights. I always respect them and insist on them being respected when i am the patient or one of my family.

you had every right to refuse ,i support you fully:)

another thing i hate is an MA with an attitude

I quit going to one PCP because of the goons in her front office and her 1/2 =year voicemail. :rolleyes:

Shay, I have learned a lot from this thread.

Although I was painfully skinny until age 30, it was not due to an eating disorder -I just couldn't gain weight. I also outgrew it (by about 300%) and am now "obese" (6' 1" and 240 lbs). I think your comparison to rape/molestation victims is probably right-on and I NEVER would have thought of that.

I will try to do better with the druggie moms. Had one last week (actually they are pretty rare in my unit) who was being unreasonable and I was grateful that I could avoid all but one phone call. I will keep your Academy Award winning attitude in mind...

Can I ask what ttc is? A google search turned up things like:

Toronto Transit Commission

Trying to Conceive

Tools of Tensor Calculus

Kind of on topic....

A physician in Dallas did "breast exams" by putting his hand down his female patients' shirts (not even removing bras). The board there has yet to discipline him (Texas has one of the worst track records for disciplining physicians). Apparently most of his patients were AFRAID to say no or complain, or accepted his explanation that this was a "necessary" part of the exam.

How many patients felt guilted into this demeaning procedure? And how many are now LESS likely to go the doctor?

How many patients who know they are going to get weighed and feel diminished by it are going to skip THEIR appointments?

Yes, weight is part of a medical exam. But weighing -- LIKE ANY PART OF AN EXAM -- can be refused for any reason.

If the doc feels s/he needs a weight, and the patient says no, it can be estimated. Or appearance can be described in the notes (that's what shrinks usually do, BTW).

PS I do know this is a bad analogy! :)

I too have been plagued by an eating disorder...it is awful to be weighed...i would find myself running my a** off as soon as I got off the scale! Hmmm. done 4 miles! Oh hell, I'll do two more. And the skipping meals and hacking the one meal you do eat. You are a mental slave. I was able to tell folks calories per serving about food items off the top of my head! It is awful. Oh gosh, what about the body fat measurement vs scales! It just sucks...uh, yeah you weigh 120lbs but your body fat is 30! Grrrrr. I agree with Heather...weigh backwards! If weighing is "that" necessary.

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