First Impressions Matter, B**ch!!!!

Nurses General Nursing

Published

:( Yanno, I always try to make a good first impression with patients and their families. It freakin' matters. It sets the whole tone, and it really makes a difference in what kind of rapport you can develop with your patients.

I had a special consult today in my recent quest re: possible ttc. The office nurse, the ONLY nurse btw, was a total rude, snotty little twit. This was a visit regarding which antidepressants I can and can't take during pregnancy. It was a one time consult, damn it. It had nothing to do with my physical health, no meds were going to be prescribed, NOTHING. MERELY A CONSULT OF THIS PARTICULAR DOC'S MEDICAL OPINION. NOTHING ELSE.

Office b**ch tells me as a part of her duties, each pt. gets BP/P/R and WEIGHT.......................................................

Folks, my DOG doesn't even know my weight, okay? I don't weigh for ANYBODY. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE. UNLESS MY MEDICATION IS WEIGHT BASED, YOU WILL NOT KNOW MY WEIGHT. PERIOD. END OF STORY. So I politely tell her I will decline weighing, and she looks at me, up and down, pursed lips, and says, "well, we do have women who just don't look, you know."

I wanted to smack her. I am immediately on the defensive. I have weight issues, okay, and I don't effing need her crap about "there are women who don't look." I wanted to say, "I'm sorry, B**CH, WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND????!!??" I told her NO again, and she proceeded with my vs. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo put off by her. I was just clawing at my purse, thinking a million different ugly things about her. When searching through my purse for my insurance card, I MADE SURE TO WHIP OUT MY NURSING LICENSE WHILE "SHUFFLING" THROUGH MY THINGS IN MY WALLET in hopes she'd see and know that she was not only being a snot to a patient she didn't know from ADAM, but to a FELLOW NURSE.

:( :( REFUSAL OF TREATMENT INCLUDES BEING ABLE TO REFUSE CERTAIN PROCEDURES, AND BEING WEIGHED IS ONE OF THEM. WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ALL THE OFFICE NURSES OUT THERE TO UNDERSTAND THIS????? I RESPECT MY PATIENTS' BOUNDARIES, WHY DO THESE PEOPLE GET SO PISSY WHEN I REFUSE TO WEIGH??? IT IS NONE OF YOUR FREAKIN' BUSINESS WHY OR WHY NOT I WEIGH, I SAID NO, NOW BACK THE F OFF.

Look, people. All you students and new nurses especially........PLEASE REMEMBER..........your patient can refuse whatever he/she wishes unless their is a COURT ORDER stating they are incompetent, and there is someone acting in their stead, OKAY??? Do not get all rude and snotty if someone refuses treatment. I had a patient yesterday that signed out AMA for familial reasons. Was I rude to her? NO. Did I disagree with her decision? YES. Did I reflect that in my treatment of her? NO. I told her, respectfully and politely, the risks of leaving, and encouraged her to return to the hospital if she has any further problems. Part of nursing is learning how to CONTROL YOUR OUTWARD APPEARANCE. You can be frustrated or put off. You can not like what someone is doing. But damn it, they teach you in nursing school (at least they taught MY class) how to friggin' watch your body language and facial expressions so as not to MAKE YOUR PATIENT FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

Please be aware of how you're coming off. It MATTERS. It MAKES A DIFFERENCE. BODY LANGUAGE, FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, AND TONE OF VOICE SAY A LOT MORE THAN THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. Please, people. Remember this.

Originally posted by nell

Can I ask what ttc is? A google search turned up things like:

Toronto Transit Commission

Trying to Conceive

Tools of Tensor Calculus

Nell, that would be trying to conceive. My dh and I are preparing to start a family.

One more thing...............this is especially for the likes of pebbles and molly and any other nurse who seems to have forgotten the pt. bill of rights and that they are not there to power trip on the pt...........found this on another message board:

Ok currently, I disrespect all nurses. Yes, I know that is unfair, that there are good nurses out there, but I haven't seen any. And I've seen a lot of nurses with my MIL and sister's cancers. I have relatives who are nurses, friends who are nurses. They all suck. They are cold, clinical b**ches.

And you wonder why people feel this way about nurses? Pull your head out of your hind quarters and realize that your patients are PEOPLE, not your little lab rats or subjects. You are not queen of your domain.

No wonder people hate getting health care. It's because of nurses with attitudes like yours, i.e., that pts. who object to certain things are being silly and unreasonable, that people have this image of nurses being "cold, clinical b**ches". Get over yourselves and go take a course in therapeutic communication and basic social interaction. :rolleyes:

Specializes in Trauma acute surgery, surgical ICU, PACU.

Um... I didn't say you had to MAKE someone get weighed.

A weight can be an important part of a medical exam... of course the pt has the right to refuse, and that nurse had no tright to try and force you after you said no. But that doesn't mean we should avoid taking weights at all.... When pt refuses ANYTHING, it should be documented but accepted. Geez. I was just commenting on the issue of a weight as part of a medical exam.... I fully accept the principles behind the bill of rights, and nowhere did I say otherwise.

Shay, I think you jumped to some conclusions about me that weren't fair....

This wasn't an eating disorder clinic, you were at... asking a pt to be weighed is a perfectly valid assessment. (BUT not accepting her refusal is wrong). Also - a good doctor won't just look at weight, he'll look at patterns of weight from visit to visit, etc. The GP is often one of the first links in treatment for eating disorders. MANY aspects of a health examination, as you say, can be sensitive subjects, but we as nurses or patients can't avoid them. If a pt refused to be weighed, I would pass that info on to the primary caregiver (the doc) and he can follow up on why in the exam room. Following up is important, too, not just accepting a pt's refusal....

Specializes in Trauma acute surgery, surgical ICU, PACU.
Originally posted by shay

One more thing...............this is especially for the likes of pebbles and molly and any other nurse who seems to have forgotten the pt. bill of rights and that they are not there to power trip on the pt........... Get over yourselves and go take a course in therapeutic communication and basic social interaction. :rolleyes:

:rolleyes: We're none of us perfect communicators... some of the conclusions you have jumped to (and ranted about) indicate that as well. If you didn't like what I said, fine. I clarified it above. But for you to say that I should take a "communications course" is patronising and ironic beyond belief. I understand that you are upset, but I don't appreciate your apparent vengeance. Perhaps you'd care to tackle the course with me?....... ;)

The GP is often one of the first links in treatment for eating disorders.
Read the whole thread first, Pebbles. It wasn't a GP, IT WAS A PSYCHIATRIST. WHOM I WAS CONSULTING WITH REGARDING TAKING ANTI-DEPRESSANTS DURING PREGNANCY SPECIFICALLY TO TREAT MY EATING DISORDER. It WASN'T a GP. My e.d.o. has already been diagnosed, thank you.

Here's the crux of my beef with you:

I fail to see why asking someone about the sensitive subject of weight is so much more horrific than asking them about anything else... I hate the way our society is so fat-paranoid. It's not some guy on the street asking to weigh you, it's a medical exam.
I don't care WHO asks me my weight. It's not about being "FAT PARANOID," it's about already having issues with food and weight and clothing size.....and it's about not being treated like a stupid child for refusing to weigh. FYI, my therapist treating me for my e.d.o. has specifically instructed me not to weigh, and not to have scales in the house. Are rape victims that I take care of in labor who have difficulty with lady partsl exams "sex paranoid?" NO. It's the SAME THING.

I hope you never have anything bad happen to you in your life and then have salt rubbed in the wound later by someone who is supposed to be your "caregiver." You "fail to see" why it's such a big deal??!!?? Good Lord. Get a clue.

Shay, Bravo for stucking up for your rights. It is quickly becoming a lost art it seems. You've got THE RIGHT TO SAY NO TO ANYTHING THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. That's what free will is all about,and it's so refreshing to see someone with the stones to back it up. I've become such a doormat I make myself sick. I'd rather run a thousand miles from confrontation than have to try to reason with someone who's totally unreasonable. I have weight issues too. MAJOR ONES. I once dieted down to 123 lbs. But I did it taking diet pills. Tenuate 25's Tenuate 75's Adipex, You name it,but I eventually gained the weight back plus extra. I am now trying to do it the right way. I know I have to do something,because my family heart history absolutely sucks. Mom has CAD,CHF,AND COPD. Dad has a pacemaker,and just suffered a heart attack on Memorial Day Weekend. I have Mitral valve prolapse and am currently on Paxil for my clinical depression. But you better believe I'm standing up and applauding you my friend. ENCORE!! :kiss ;) Your friend, Warrior Woman.

Specializes in Trauma acute surgery, surgical ICU, PACU.

I guess that'll teach me to respond with anything except agreement to a thread with the B-word in the title.... :angryfire :chair:

I AM sorry for misunderstanding you Shay.... I guess I did miss that part in your original post. I still think a weight is important.... and I still support the pt's right to refuse. I think your anger towards the clinic nurse is justified. I think she WAS justified in asking you to be weighed - how could she know your history? But to insist is just wrong.

I don't deserve to have you flame me like that over a difference of perception. My bad for not re-reading the thread a few times to understand better what was going on. But the things you said about me are uncalled for. You assume that I am insensitive in general just because I missed one point in one thread on a bb. You have made a lot of assumptions about me. We're all only human, right.... ?

My psy doc. asked me my weight b/c the med I was put on (by another doc temporarily until I had my appt w/her) had weight gain as a s.e. and she wanted to follow me - and that she could change the med if I did put on too much weight. Now this was well into her (the doc) assessment of me so she had already covered the area of my eating habits & figured out I didn't have a eating d/o. She offered the explaination of why she needed the info before she asked so I understood why. So it was a very sensative / tactiful approach which I appreciated.

Specializes in CVOR,CNOR,NEURO,TRAUMA,TRANSPLANTS.

Hey Shay,

You might be lucky enough to admit her one day and when you do

Scream her weight down the hall!!!!!!

She knows its just procedure roflamo

I hate to be weighed , I just look at the Nurse and whisper to her that Im a surgical nurse and its ok Im here for a check up not a big butt exam.

Most of the Drs I see know this about me I am healthyand I weigh more than a buck O five so I tell them get over it, and if I want advice on my weight , I can just go see my grandmother she has a delightful way of expressing my fluffiness.

Zoe

Specializes in LDRP; Education.

Alright Pebbles and Shay,

I like ya both, and and bein' the buddies of Shay that I am, I can tell you that she is a brazen little snit who WILL speak her mind (that's why I love her to death!) ;) She makes me laugh and I pretty much always agree with everything she says; she often says the unsaid - things we WANT to say or things we THINK but are often too chicken to say them. I live my life vicariously through her.

I, though, have been a victim of being flamed by people over something that I felt was unjustified - so Pebbles I feel your pain here and the urgency to get to the bottom of it; explain and rationalize away. I can tell you though that since Shay is an educated person, she will most likely see your logic pattern and chalk it up to some misunderstanding - after all this IS a BB, and things get read between the lines that aren't intended; we are ALL guilty of that.

Shay, you are such a darling and I love you soo soo much. :) Please, continue on and speak your mind. You are a tough gal and you say it like it is. Which is why I always vent to you........so I can get the "real" story.

Now...continue on. And Shay, check yer damn email. :)

One PCP with the scale in her WAITING room-Right-I'll just jump right on that!! Thiught that was about the most inconsiderate weight situation I have ever seen.

Oh, the whole weight thing just BURNS me.

When I go to the doc, they have the scale on the way back to the exam room. In the back hall, but on the other side of the glass from the waiting room. Am I going to get on that scale in front of a bunch of strangers? Nope. The nurse ALWAYS looks at me with shock on her face when I say "I decline." They say "we need to know how much you weigh." Well, I'm here for sinusitis, so I don't think so. "But-" Nope.

I went to an ortho last month for a SHOULDER problem. We're not talking surgery yet, this is the original visit. The nurse insists on getting me on the scale. I declined, knowing that I was XRays, PT, an MRI, antiinflammatories, and steroid injections away from getting NEAR an OR. (Where anesthesia would have to know.) But she insisted. I said the same thing I say to people who ask for my social security number. If you can tell me why you need to know that information, I'll tell you.

Her answer- "he likes to know, has to has it in his records." Sorry, chickie, "The doctor says so" just does NOT fly with me- shouldn't be said to ANYONE let alone a nurse patient! So I said -Then I'll talk to him about it.

You would think I was inisisting on not giving them my insurance info, or something- LOL.

People can say no, plain and simple. I feel free to chart "patient advised of risks related to refusing xyz" and there ya go, he's made his informed decision and I've covered my butt. :)

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