First Impressions Matter, B**ch!!!!

Nurses General Nursing

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:( Yanno, I always try to make a good first impression with patients and their families. It freakin' matters. It sets the whole tone, and it really makes a difference in what kind of rapport you can develop with your patients.

I had a special consult today in my recent quest re: possible ttc. The office nurse, the ONLY nurse btw, was a total rude, snotty little twit. This was a visit regarding which antidepressants I can and can't take during pregnancy. It was a one time consult, damn it. It had nothing to do with my physical health, no meds were going to be prescribed, NOTHING. MERELY A CONSULT OF THIS PARTICULAR DOC'S MEDICAL OPINION. NOTHING ELSE.

Office b**ch tells me as a part of her duties, each pt. gets BP/P/R and WEIGHT.......................................................

Folks, my DOG doesn't even know my weight, okay? I don't weigh for ANYBODY. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE. UNLESS MY MEDICATION IS WEIGHT BASED, YOU WILL NOT KNOW MY WEIGHT. PERIOD. END OF STORY. So I politely tell her I will decline weighing, and she looks at me, up and down, pursed lips, and says, "well, we do have women who just don't look, you know."

I wanted to smack her. I am immediately on the defensive. I have weight issues, okay, and I don't effing need her crap about "there are women who don't look." I wanted to say, "I'm sorry, B**CH, WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND????!!??" I told her NO again, and she proceeded with my vs. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo put off by her. I was just clawing at my purse, thinking a million different ugly things about her. When searching through my purse for my insurance card, I MADE SURE TO WHIP OUT MY NURSING LICENSE WHILE "SHUFFLING" THROUGH MY THINGS IN MY WALLET in hopes she'd see and know that she was not only being a snot to a patient she didn't know from ADAM, but to a FELLOW NURSE.

:( :( REFUSAL OF TREATMENT INCLUDES BEING ABLE TO REFUSE CERTAIN PROCEDURES, AND BEING WEIGHED IS ONE OF THEM. WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ALL THE OFFICE NURSES OUT THERE TO UNDERSTAND THIS????? I RESPECT MY PATIENTS' BOUNDARIES, WHY DO THESE PEOPLE GET SO PISSY WHEN I REFUSE TO WEIGH??? IT IS NONE OF YOUR FREAKIN' BUSINESS WHY OR WHY NOT I WEIGH, I SAID NO, NOW BACK THE F OFF.

Look, people. All you students and new nurses especially........PLEASE REMEMBER..........your patient can refuse whatever he/she wishes unless their is a COURT ORDER stating they are incompetent, and there is someone acting in their stead, OKAY??? Do not get all rude and snotty if someone refuses treatment. I had a patient yesterday that signed out AMA for familial reasons. Was I rude to her? NO. Did I disagree with her decision? YES. Did I reflect that in my treatment of her? NO. I told her, respectfully and politely, the risks of leaving, and encouraged her to return to the hospital if she has any further problems. Part of nursing is learning how to CONTROL YOUR OUTWARD APPEARANCE. You can be frustrated or put off. You can not like what someone is doing. But damn it, they teach you in nursing school (at least they taught MY class) how to friggin' watch your body language and facial expressions so as not to MAKE YOUR PATIENT FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

Please be aware of how you're coming off. It MATTERS. It MAKES A DIFFERENCE. BODY LANGUAGE, FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, AND TONE OF VOICE SAY A LOT MORE THAN THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. Please, people. Remember this.

Specializes in LDRP; Education.

OH....thanks Heather.

THAT is really wacked. Although, wondering if it's because of Shay's hx perhaps......that she asked for a weight?

Again, it doesn't matter. The nurse has a right to attempt to collect the data just as much as Shay has a right to refuse.

i have also within the past year gained the nads to refuse...no, to politely decline, to be weighed..used to always do it, usually with my back turned, eyes closed, whatever...now i politely say" no, thanks..you may document that i have declined to be weighed. i am well aware i have put on weight and have enough issues with depression without slapping myself in the face." i won't even get on the scales for my gastroenterologist...if i was having a major flareup, or other acute reason to monitor my weight, i would...but...not gonna happen until then!!!!!

and, btw, suzy...her history would be all the more reason to not be expecting her to get weighed...like heather said, a recovered/recovering eating disorder victim should not have scales in the house.

Specializes in LDRP; Education.

Sunnygirl,

Her hx makes her weight pertinent. The nurse has every right to ask Shay for a weight - that is not where the error was made here; the error was in the nurse's *judgement* of Shay which was then displayed to her.

As I said, the nurse has every right to ask, and Shay has every right to decline. End of story.

Specializes in Pediatric Rehabilitation.

ROFLMAO, shay. You are hillarious!

I think, perhaps, in retrospect to Molly's opinion, there SHOULD have been someone else in that room showing a little 'tude. Sounds like you were much too nice. She looked you up and down???!!! and then proceeded to make a sarcastic comment!!?

I can guess without asking...she was "perfectly sized", eh.

You should have read her up and down!!! I've always been overweight and never had a problem with it (unfortunately) nor do I care who sees/knows. HOWEVER, you were well within your rights as a patient, woman and human. How dare she!

Weight is a pertinent factor to the individual in an acute phase of anorexia. Her weight gain is considered important to and in direct correlation with her recovery.

But to an individual that is trying to move past the eating disorder and is no longer in the more acute, dangerous phase of the disorder, it is more appropriate to focus on your feelings about yourself and personal coping mechanisms than the numbers on the scale.

In all honesty, the only time in my life that I've weighed exactly what the charts say I should, I was a raging bulemic. The docs would say "Oh goody! You're just where you should be!" :rolleyes:

Heather

Damn, I'm going to schedule an appointment just so I can refuse........more power to me!!

Shay,

I can have anything going on in my little head that I want to about this person, but it SHOULD NOT SHOW ON MY FACE OR IN MY BODY LANGUAGE OR COME OUT IN MY TONE OF VOICE. PERIOD. EVER. It is rude, it is unprofessional, and it's uncalled for. I can yell about it in my car. I can tell my dh what an idiot I think they are. I can come here and tell y'all what I think.......but when it comes to actual pt./family interaction, I suck it up and put on my game face. It's part of the job.

oscar.jpg

You're a lot better actress than me!

Specializes in Critical Care.

OMG, you crack me up! Why the he-- does a shrink need your weight? What's next a rectal exam. Point out that *****y office nurse who probably isn't a nurse just calls herself one, this badbird with weight issues will bite hard for you!

Shay, I love You!!! This has been my argument for years, I NEVER get weighed if it has nothing to do w/ the visit. I think it's so robotic to automatically weigh everyone who comes thru the door. Do some frikin independant thinking first!! I love to see the looks when I politely say "I'd rather not thanks!" I esp. love it when I need to return for a f/up visit and they want to weigh me, "Ya know I probably haven't gained that much weight in a week Ya think??? You said it girl!!!This has been my pet peeve w/ nurses for years!!! Thank you Thank you!!

Specializes in Everything except surgery.

I have NO problem with a pt. refusing anything if they're competent! Their body...their rules about what is done to it! I don't care if I'm weighed...but I have had pts. who turned the other way...asked for the scale to be zeroed, asked not to be told, and who refused! No sweat off my nose...and if that is what they want...I have no problems charting refused!

If I feel it's in their best interest...yes I will state the rational...but I tell them in a matter of fact way. Especially if there is a possibilty of a Rx being written/med given. But if they say no...I just let the MD know/ chart...and go about my business...end of story!

But I think the things we see others do...just make it even clearer in our minds...to not do this to others. I know being a pt. in a hospital or MD's office...has made me very sensitive to how the pts. see us. I used to remember our instructor telling us to let NGT fdgs go down by gravity. So I always did. But the point really got driven home when someone pushed flds thru an NGT "I" had!! Experience is an excellent teacher!

Hi guys!

Been away from the forum for a while, but my timing is great! Just yesterday an incident similar to this occurred to me. Thanks for reminding us that the pt may refuse. Despite the attitudes, anyone has the right to refuse anything.

An OB pt came in yesterday refusing to answer any questions. I didn't know she was coming, no name, no prenatal chart, and she was not giving me the info! I was upset to say the least. Eventually she did give it up when I told her my name and I couldn't help her until she answered some of my questions. However, after MY attitude showed, hers and mine just continued to snowball. I know better! Even if she doesn't! It turned out okay and I did apologize but the mood was already set and the 1st impression was made. The really bad thing is that most pts who are frequent fliers ask for me by name!

Thanks Shay for a reminder of why we are here and what information that we have privy to is confidential and sacred to the pt!

Lisa :)

Originally posted by nurs4kids

I can guess without asking...she was "perfectly sized", eh.

:rolleyes: DUH!! OF COURSE!!! :chuckle That, I think, is probably the MOST part that bothered me. I knew what she was thinking....the whole "look" said it all...."YOU FAT GIRL, YOU NEED TO BE WEIGHED SO I CAN LECTURE YOU ABOUT HOW FAT YOU ARE AND FEEL MY SUPERIOR SKINNINESS."

This comment especially hit home:

In all honesty, the only time in my life that I've weighed exactly what the charts say I should, I was a raging bulemic. The docs would say "Oh goody! You're just where you should be!"
HAH!! Been there, DONE THAT!! I hear ya, sister!! And wouldn't you know, THAT'S precisely when I felt the FATTEST. When I was horking up every blasted morsel that passed my lips, but by God, I was a SIZE 4.

Brownie, excellent post as well. Being a patient is the BEST teacher. Asking a pt. her weight is a normal question I must ask as well on labor and delivery, and lemme tell ya, whenever I get a patient who even HALFWAY cringes and sort of sideways glances at her husband, I immediately get her a pen, a piece of paper, and COVER IT UP SO HE CAN'T READ THE NUMBER SHE WROTE. They are eternally greatful.

Last but not least, I must comment on this:

What's next a rectal exam.
:chuckle :roll :rotfl:
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